Ode To The Woman Behind Me In Traffic Today

Good morning, afternoon, evening, night, or whatever applies to you in your respective time zone. Anyway, onto the review. I enjoyed reading your poem! It was a very interesting piece, with a topic I wouldn’t have thought could be turned into a poem. I guess I was wrong.

Though our eyes never met
Our cars nearly did.

XD

Bro this is my kind of humor, and the title fits it perfectly! Clearly satire but with just enough ambiguity to keep us questioning as we start the poem. And I like how don’t make it blatantly obvious the narrator’s feelings towards the woman until the last stanza or so. This was a fun read, I really don’t have anything but praise!

This is such a fun read, definitely something I think people would enjoy even if they aren’t big fans of poetry. The Shakespearean language was unexpected and made me laugh. The only note I had on that was that I think there might be a time or two where it should be thine instead of thou but I’m not an expert so I don’t know for sure. Maybe just do some quick research to find out?
The last lines are so great,
“Though our eyes never met
Our cars nearly did.”
It’s such a great way to end it and really fits the vibe of the whole poem. The whole concept is really creative, so great job!!

Fantastic! When I first started reading this I fully expected it to be a serious poem, especially after you said:

My heart went all aflutter

Ode to the woman in traffic behind me

Making my heart quicken as she approached

Though our eyes never met

Our cars nearly did.

Hello! Wallflower here for a quick review

This is a genuinely hilarious poem, and it's incredibly well done! The words and tone you've used to provide a parody of many love poems are perfectly encapsulating off all the worst and most generic love poems - though with your humourous twist on them, it works perfectly. "Though our eyes never met/Our cars nearly did." This figurative language serves perfectly to wrap up the poem and provide the reader a sense of completion. It's incredibly clever, well done, and hilarious.

Overall, fantastic job!!

I love this! The use of the Old English terms add to the humor. I love how you've made it sound like some sort of love poem, but it's really not that at all. Your use of words and phrases like "destiny" and "my heart went all a flutter" indicate that almost-romantic idea.

A couple of things I would point out are slight spelling errors. First of all, you've used the word "women," plural, when the poem clearly indicates you likely meant to use the word "woman," singular. The spelling is off by one letter, but it makes a difference. The other thing I noticed was in the phrase, "and thou approached with hast." I believed the spelling of the word you're meaning to use is "haste." Technically, in Old English, "hast" is like a past tense of "has," while "haste" is a separate word meaning "hurry" or something along that line. So the spelling here again makes an important difference.

I really like how you kind of keep us wondering whether the narrator was actually hoping the woman would look at him romantically - that is, until the last four lines. Then we see clearly that you definitely were getting at a different sort of point. Great job!

Thanks for sharing this fun poem!