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A Visitor From Far Away Lands

by MaybeAndrew


It's sunrise

My breath mists the night air

The sea laps gently against the docks and the many ships in the harbor. 

I pick the one I shall take today. 

I try not to judge it by its cover, but I can't help it. 

Its high mast shall take me far, and old worn wood suggests times past

I walk up and begin to untie it from the dock

300 pages, this might be a long journey

I feel nervous with excitement and apprehension

My stomach churning like the sea after a storm

Shall I enjoy the journey?

Shall the book end up dull or drawling?

Shall I be crashed against rocks of disappointment as my favorite characters die or my love interests don't end up together?

or...

Shall it be a journey to that place I've always known but never been able to find?

A land filled honey and adventure and the smell of dragons breath?

I sigh and step on the boat, pulling up the sails of imagination, and turning duo north. 

.

I arrive at the land by noon

greeted by strange people and sites

Handsome knights and powerful sorceresses 

Castles creeping with ivy and rivers babbling with adventure 

But soon those people have become my friends, and those sites my home

We journey together through even stranger sights, but together and make those places home too

We battle dark enemies, fall in love, and discover secrets

But eventually, all the foes have been vanquished 

and all the pages turned

So I must go home

For I am only a visitor from far away lands

And though I may wish it, I am only permitted to stay so long

So I say goodbye to my friends

I get up on my sailboat and let the wind catch me

If it weren't for that wind i might have never had the energy to leave. 

I stair at the land, and feel a rising longing in my chest

As the sight of the places, we fought battles, made friends, and talked

I even miss those evil enemies we had vanquished 

But, soon, the land has faded into mist. 

And I have returned back to the docks

And the sun is setting. 

But as I look at the many other boats

I realize even here, in my world, I am only a visitor from far away lands

Because my land is with Frodo, and Mr. Darcy, and Kendra. 

My home is on the planet dune, is in the Gryffindor common room, is among the chocolate in Willy Wonka's Factory.

For when I return from these places I'm surrounded by strangers

For I am a traveler of books

A visitor from far away lands


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Points: 440
Reviews: 13

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Mon Aug 23, 2021 12:48 pm
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Baranczak wrote a review...



I think this is a really interesting poem. I really liked the ambiguity of the beginning - ambiguity is what masked poetry poetry after all - if we wanted everything crystal clear, we could just as well write in prose! (If you would like to read more about this concept, I would highly recommend the book “seven types of ambiguity”). I liked the subtle hints you gave to gave the reader, the first one especially interesting “I try not to judge it by its cover”, because it could just be a turn of phrase - except this time it isn’t only that, this time it’s perfectly literal. I loved the way the whole poem expressed the really physical almost sensual pleasure one experiences while immersed in a book. For the speaker here, reading is not just informational, it is intensely pleasurable, exciting, even sometimes a little dangerous. I think you also beautifully showed the deep personal connection and attachment people who love reading have towards particular books, and particular characters within those books - an attachment that is often so strong that the reader cannot hear to close the book and leave their friends behind. I think you also beautifully captured the fact that many people who read lots of books feel a bit alienated once they come back to real life. Sometimes because it is less exciting than that of the books, but often also because after deepening their understanding by so much reading, they find it harder to connect to those who don’t understand what experiences they have lived through.




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430 Reviews


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Wed Aug 18, 2021 4:55 pm
ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey!! Forever here with a review!! Your work seems to be 19 days old XD

Clarity: At first I was a little bit confused about what is going on in the poem, the ships seem to be vague and I thought that you are preparing for a journey that id gonna be some sort of adventurous and er... Boring at the same time to the readers. But I was proved wrong for the journey, I mean the journey throughout the poem was quite good. It became clear when you told us about the books.

Flow: The flow was more or less not very smooth. Like some lines were very short and some fabulous(very long, I mean). That obstructs the flow.
Cut the longer lines and make them shorter.
For instance, this:

Shall I be crashed against rocks of disappointment as my favorite characters die or my love interests don't end up together?

Seems like it has turned into a story line, something which you don't want your poem to be. Break it into chunks. Maybe make it:
"Shall the death of my favorite characters
Crash me against rocks?
Or worse will my love interests not end up together?"
You need to have a consistency in the lengths of the lines of your poem.
Imagery or figurative language:This was the part in which you absolutely nailed. The comparing of the ship with the books was just awesome. I really like the analogy. It should be praised how you managed to portray the reading of a whole book as a journey of the ship. The description of fears, apprehensions, excitement and everything else that build up within us in both of them was great. The reader can actually feel the poem.

Emotion:Ah this was so relatable for voracious readers who love to read. I can relate all the descriptions that you gave in the poem with the working of my mind before, during and after reading a book. It's how we immerse in and travel in different World through different books. It's quite a sad phenomenon when we finish a book... I really loved the description of that part.

All in all, this was a great poem.

Keep Writing!

~Forever




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Wed Aug 04, 2021 1:28 am
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pineapple321 wrote a review...



Hi, MaybeAndrew, Pineapple here for a short review.

I loved the concept of this poem. In the beginning, I was confused, but then it clicked, the analogy of the ship was perfect. It captures the reader almost instantly and I, for one, was hooked. It was sort of metaphorical. Stepping onto a ship is like diving into a new book. The whole poem was really creative.

My favorite lines were "I realize even here, in my world, I am only a visitor from far away lands." It outlines how readers feel when they fall back into a sometimes painful reality. We want out! We want to go back to our fantasy lands, whether they are dystopian or filled with royals.

My one critique is to separate your poem into shorter stanzas more often. It's almost overwhelming without spaces.

Other than that, this was a great poem. I can't wait to see more of your work!

Signed,
Pineapple





The roots of education are bitter, but the fruit is sweet.
— Aristotle