Virgil e Dante

I will take you down the back roads of my life.
And we will break stones and sip from streams
which flow backwards over jagged beds and half-buried bone.

I will lead you through the trees and
the patches of bare dirt over rotting flesh,
and I will teach you the ways of a devil
in the cage of a soul, his own rage, his own torment.

We will starve in the woods
looming over the skeleton of this town and
these ragged people,
and you will know what it is to want your pound
of pain and blood.

There will be spindles of morning
through the black canopy and thicket,
but you will know no ends, let alone beginnings.

This is suffering. Hope is for the young and lonely, and I will always be with you.

Judas,
I am telling you these things because I love you.
I know the rhyme of silver and sirens.
I know the bend of that neck against tough twine.
Our skin has scraped against the same teeth.

You are evil. But I will show you that evil is only selfish sorrow.

There are steeples of blackened wood over knelt,
blackened men in this town spread thin over red graves.

Believe in me, and I will reveal that
my hands are filled with stolen grief, glittering
in the dark. This is the currency of hate and pity.

My family swings from gnarled trees, eyes casted
up, pale against the thicket, missing the sun.

I will take you past their limp hands hanging, and
you will see that
my story and
your story
are the same.

This town is small but
the smothered breathe still,
and these poor
and these haggard are,
too, your family.

The bones of the river welcome you.

Comments & reviews · 2
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Skydreamer
Review

Wow. I am so surprised that this isn't featured right now. That was fantastic to read. As I was going through it I noticed something I really liked about your writing that I'm going to point out. And then if I find things that can be improved on I'll let you know.

And we will break stones and sip from streams


I really liked this because it had a great rhythm to it and also I loved how you used the term "sip from streams" it makes me think of some type of village (or town as it is) where people are so set in their ways, that they still drink fresh water from the streams and whatnot. So, so cool.

but you will know no ends, let alone beginnings.


I found this quite confusing but in that good way that everyone loves, that poetic confusion that is meant to make you dig deeper and think things through carefully, so well done with that one. I think it means some sort of a continous pace, something that will continue on without ever seeming like it's starting or ending. Am I right? I'm starting to think that the title has something to do with this but I am not sure the language (Latin? Italian?) and cannot decipher the connection at the moment.

Is it weird that I thought of the Judas in the Bible when reading the name, or was I supposed to. Either way, this was all very profound and I greatly commend you for it.

I was going to suggest altering the ending but it's just too good, even if I don't understand it or get it, it doesn't matter to me. I'm sure someone who's more critical will give you excellent advice on how to even better this, but honestly I think this is spectacular. Somethings are just meant to be written.

Great job! Keep writing and dreaming!

Thanks:D
(to answer your questions:
A - yes! Exactly. Emphasizing the sense of hopelessness. As for the title, it does hint at this; in the inferno, hopelessness and despair were the prevailing sentiments of the BLIND damned...
B - Hmm...maybe you picked up on my original idea for the title. It was supposed to be something alluding to both Jesus and Judas (the whole Guide and disciple theme there, which is maintained though in the title I eventually chose)? It could happen...

I like this. So few people tell such a beautiful story through poetry. A story is implied, but so little defined. I love it! I liked the reference to Judas, and the silver. You made the reference clear and it was so boldly done. I love the word choice. You use bolder and stronger words than the ones I can think of. Not that I don't know them, I just don't always know how to use them.

The descriptiveness of the poem is what really draws you in. It makes you feel and it makes you realize so many things. I loved the last stanza about the small town. It's hard for me to accept that that's where I come from and that's where I'll end up. Everyone loves the story of a small town person, but most people are small town. It's just nature. It's just normal.

Just all of the poem is so breathtaking. I can't stop thinking about it in my mind. It's something that'll go over in my head for a long time. Just keep writing like this, and it'll be good.

Thank you. This is, of course, what I love to hear:)



oh to be a cat in a pile of towels
— ChesTacos