E - Everyone

The Stone Bridge to Solitude

Upon a time a stone bridge stood
leading men to meadow-wood,
And playful shadows often glow
across the dwindling brook below.

Upon a time the grain was reaped
by farmer and his fellow sheep,
Where candid shades of gold and blue,
would gladly bend 'neath hoof and shoe.

Upon a time I lived there too...

So cast once more that sober hue
and pray I see when it was true,
before the hammer struck jaded chords,
and beauty could not be told in words.

Comments & reviews · 4
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Hey! BtterRosemary here to give a review! Let's get started!
What I did like: Beautiful, yes. Imaginative, yes. Told a great story. Beautiful ajectives.
What I didn't like: However it was a bit cliche. It sorta sounded like you were just trying t make it fancy and shakespearean. In other words, it was a bit to words for my tastes.
Overall, you get a 7 out of 10 from me.
Write on!
BitterRosemary

User avatar
therealme
Review

Even before reading the poem and just looking at the title I thought to myself 'this is going to be a good poem'. And I was mistaken.

It is not good, it is great ;)

Your rhyming is perfect and I loooove that you separated the line 'upon a time I lived there too...' That was a really genius thing to do (heh, I just rhymed myself).

The only thing that felt a little off was that the last two lines of the poem didn't rhyme as well as the others ('chords' and 'words'), but it isn't so bad.

Overal it is fabulous and I love the imagery you have created. Keep writing more poems!

You caught me! The first person to notice the indirect rhyme on the last stanza, well done sir. ;) I have looked at that stanza for years and wondered what I could put there to make it flow a little better, I continue to be stumped by the answer. Thank you so much for your kind review and suggestions, I really appreciate it! :)

You're welcome :) Happy to help!

User avatar
Venonymous
Review

This poem is very enjoyable to read. And yet it's already been, one... two... wait, three days in the green room?! You got to be kidding me.

I liked the rhyming, really. And the flow it was just there, I read it without any hold ups or anything. I just read it easily- enjoyable. I still couldn't believe that this is still in the green room. With no reviews. For three days.

I can't review anything else, I just can't seem to find other flaws. But I couldn't just get the meaning behind it. Maybe I'm just slow thinking, can you tell me what's the meaning behind the poem? Is it really just merely a /bridge/ to solitude?

Well. Overall, I enjoyed reading it.

I'm not sure how the Green Room works but hey, no complaints with the added exposure wink wink. As for the poem, it draws more from a childhood memory than anything. A place I used to frequent, somewhere that felt much more magical than it was. It was a spot in colonial Willamsburg, kind of an untouched grove. Of course when I went back as an adult it had been demolished for a war exhibition. Thanks so much for reading and for your kind words. :)

User avatar
Stormcrow
Comment

I like the riming, however I prefer A,B,A,B,A



The bird that would soar above the level plain of tradition and prejudice must have strong wings. It is a sad spectacle to see the weaklings bruised, exhausted, fluttering back to earth.
— Kate Chopin, The Awakening