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And so it sways within the line of vision, contouring to the whim of the iris. Flipped over a distorted crest of flesh- reaching for the unseen splendor, tempted out of reach, out of sight, but never out of mind. Without contemplation it breaks- fleeing moist emerald meadows, to fall and adorn woolen lapels- coats worn in the winter solstice. Unfastened still by way of the thumb and index, pinned and plucked- interrupting fabricated eulogies. Two hands flush, and the lash suffocated within the bond- bled for its secret, bled for the dream. Wishes made on the overcast dawn, with still more to fall from homely eyes- dancing on the peripheral, daring fate to intervene. |
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,597 Reviews
I like your poem a lot. It is very descriptive. I'm about to publish my short story titled What If on here soon. It is about a girl who asks what if about a lot of real life situations. If you would like to review it once i get it published, I would really appreciate it. I would rate your poem at about an 8. It is very nicely written. Keep writing.
I had time to decipher the meaning hiding behind this poem, but I think I got it wrong so I'll just leave it to myself.
I loved the use of vocabulary in this poem and the fact that the flow wasn't disturbed in the poem.
Overall, I enjoyed reading it, a lot.
And I couldn't think about anything else, so I hope this helps (I really hope)
-Venonymous
To me it seemed like a microscope-focus on eyelashes, the eye being the meadow, then
by the end, they make wishes c: what did you get?
Very close! Of course all literary works are subject to personal opinion so really there is no wrong answer. Thank you both for reading!!!
I got eye lids @Audy but who knows...
Nice choice of vocabulary. Very descriptive! This poem really gets me thinking. You should go check out my short story when I publish it soon. It's about a zombie apocalypse that begins in a high school. My cousin and I are planning on writing a sequel to it soon. It is also very descriptive, I think. I would really appreciate it though if you read it. It would mean alot. I can't publish it until i get 500 points though. Thanks!
