The Sinful Vagabond

Hey there, Malooga! GreenLight24 here with a review for you on this awesome March review day!

*clears throat*

The very first thing that hit me about this poem was the way in which you used imagery and diction to convey a dark tone. Even though those are probably two of the most important poetic devices, they often go under the radar, especially in this modern age of poetry. Here, you've been able to employ careful diction along with vivid imagery to drive your point home. I've read many poems where one of the two is awesome but where the other seems to falter a little bit. In this one, your imagery and fiction are both fantastic and they compliment each other very well too. I especially love the image of the "ivory gun-smoke blossoms inviting...the cloak of twilight to swallow the sinful man." That line is a perfect example of how your imagery and diction work together perfectly to create a somber tone. The syntax if this poem is also great. By using very long and drawn out sentences, you added intensity to the images you employed here. The long an slow syntax also forced the reader to go back and really think about every single line. Overall, this poem was extremely well done and I don't have much to criticize here, as it seems the previous reviewers have beaten me to the punch. But, if anything, I would suggest going even further with your diction and imagery. In my belief, imagery and diction are just like ice cream and hot pie: you can Never have too much!

Happy Review Day and always keep writing!

There are so many works on here with trees in them. LOL
Very atmospheric though.
This is short and blunt. I like that. Because the language is long and flowing.
I am not sure about the bit in the middle: 'The still wake...' because it just doesn't seem to fit, but overall, you have a nice work here.

I think you may have a theme about nature in this work, and perhaps, or this could just be me, but you have shaped your stanzas to look like tree branches??
THat could be way off, maybe my English teacher has infected my mind. BUt yeah this work was good.

Hello, rhia here.

Everytime I read one of your poems, I wonder why in the world it's still in the green room. But really, I know why. You're poetry is just so lovely and formidable, so well-written, that I think that we just can't ever find anything wrong to put in a review. I'm usually very nit-picky, but I can NEVER find anything wrong with yours. Beautiful, keep it up.

Hi

Great title

I don't quite understand what the trees have to do wit it???

'Trees wither softly to odes of night,
gagged by ivory gun-smoke blossoms'

Calling upon nature to start your work doesn't work everytime and I don' think it's very successful here. Include te lines by all means, but just don't make them your opening. For example, the last line: 'and brings nothing now but murderous things."' is actually stonger than the first and would have done better at conveying meaning in the piece.

This is very short. Also seems ver well organised, as with this little intersection:

'They seem to say...'

The piece seems very conversational.

As to who/what the sinful vagabond is, that still needs a bit of clearing up in my mind, but then I guess it is all done to personal interpretation.