Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.
Authors note: I know that there's minimal use of strong language and violence and mature content at the moment but possibilities of this happening later on is high therefore all chapters will be given this rating and possibly going up to an age 18+
The Elemental survival games
Chapter 3: This Is Just The Beginning
Friday 20th September 2013
Ben was still frustrated about remembering his father’s final words; his attention was then drawn to something else. He noticed that is bed was soaked wet. Ben was awfully vexed, baffled and ashamed believing that he had wet the bed, however on further inspection he realized something. “Ah great! I thought this crap was over when I was a baby....wait this doesn’t smell of piss…. It doesn’t smell of anything?” He came to the conclusion that it was just water and was relieved that he hadn’t wet the bed, he could feel his pride coming back to him now, although there was still the question as to why the bed was soaked in water. “Hmmm why is my bed covered with water then? Do I sleep walk?” He was pondering his mind with questions. “Well first things first I should probably change into my school clothes” He uttered to himself. He changed into his school clothes and took the sheets off his bed and put them into the washing machine. “May as well wash them now, it’s already completely soaked after all.” Ben was an experienced pro at living on his own unlike most teenagers his age who rely on their parents. His throat was parched so he got a drink of water and went into the lounge to make the most of his sparse leisure time before another hard day at school began. As he sat down on the rough couch he went to sip his drink and then realised that it had fully turned into ice. He was astounded but terrifically perplexed. “Wh-bu-but how??? There’s no way it could of turned into ice in just such a short time period it’s not even cold enough for it to turn to ice” Ben pinched his arm believing that he was still in a dream, but nothing happened. “Am I going insane?” Ben clasped his head in one hand still starring at his drink deeply with his eye attempting to make sense of the situation before him. He went back to the sink and placed the cup containing the solid block of ice into the sink, took another cup from the cupboard, filled it to the brim with water and stared at it for a few seconds. Nothing was happening at first but after a bit more time. Ben noticed the palms of his hands glowing light teal and the water started to freeze. “AH!” Ben dropped the cup clumsily the ice falling out shattering into several pieces “WH…but that’s…..that’s impossible!” Ben looked curiously at his glowing teal palms, his pupils enlarging by the second. He looked back at the shattered ice as it glistened in the sunlight. Now realizing that he was able to turn water into ice he knew that he had some sort of new found power “so I guess this explains the water in my bed earlier then, but still this is amazing!” Ben looked at the clock reading 8:15pm “Better hurry don’t wanna be late again, but wait I swear it was only 7:30 about five minutes ago… well I don’t have time to think about it.” Ben’s palms had ceased glowing now “maybe I shouldn’t tell anyone about his, or at least only people I trust, if the media finds out about this they won’t leave me alone hmm.” He grabbed the side unit and pulled himself up, as he was gradually lifting himself up he froze the side unit on accident “ah crap! I don’t really know how to control this power yet, I could end up freezing something or someone by mistake I’ll have to be very careful.” Grasping his rucksack strapping it on and was on his way to school only to find out that from this day on his whole life would change, the question was though was it for the better or worse?
The day was a miserable day, the sky was blackened with thick clouds, the sun nowhere to be seen and puddles dotting all over Ben’s usual walk path. “Must have rained last night whilst I was asleep, strange though the weather report said that it was meant to be sunny today.” Whilst deeply thinking about it wondering whether it had something to do with his new power he stepped into a deep broad puddle instantly turning the water into ice around Ben’s ankle. “Damn it not again!” Ben could hear students of his same school conversing to one another “this isn’t good, they’ll notice me stuck in the ice!” He knelt down and tugged on his ankle pleading for it to come out. Then after one firm and victorious pull his foot was free, however the ice scraped right down Ben’s ankle, it started to bleed. “Ow Shit, stupid ice!” He muttered underneath his breath. Ben stood up as if he just had to tie up his shoe laces trying to act normal as he continued onwards with a bit of a limp.
Ben had finally arrived at his form room “okay let’s try not to terrify anyone with my new “ice” power or whatever the hell this thing is”. He entered to find for once he wasn’t late bringing some joy to himself, he seized his chair tired and sat down.
“Hey did you hear about the mass murder report this morning?” Ben’s ears perked up and glanced up to see two of his classmates, it was Jack and David talking to each other.
“Yeah something about the victims being sliced up” replied David.
“No… the one I heard about was the victims being melted to a pile of ashes, even the buildings around the area had melted too!” exclaimed Jack. The form room teacher, Miss Edmund had then arrived.
“I wonder if they’ll show any videos of in on the news tonight” Jack said hopefully
“I doubt it, it’ll be too graphic for them to show footage of a mass murder to public I heard some rumours of some footage of it on youtube though.” Explained Jack
“Settle down now we’re taking the register!” The voices grew quitter as the teacher organised her desk. Ben was greatly intrigued about the mass murders.
Ben whispered “Hey Jack” Jack’s head turned around in response “where about are these mass murders?”
Jack replied back with “All in the UK, most of ‘em have been in London.” Miss Edmund started going through the register whilst Ben grew worried about the mass murders.
“I wonder if this is somehow related to this new power I have” Ben thought as he looked deeply into his palm
“Ben!”
Ben was startled, looking at Miss Edmund realising she was doing the register “h-here” He answered back with. Still thinking Ben decided to not worry about it as he already has enough to deal with at the moment. The rest of the day was normal for Ben, he then had to struggle to stay awake through the last period of the day religious studies. Ben had little interest in this subject, he even viewed it as a complete waste of time. The teacher that taught him it did not help either, his name was Mr Walter. He was six feet two inches, bald, had brown eyes and was the most strict, deafening powerful teacher in the whole school. Ben despised him.
“Today we will be learning about the Islamic faith open up your text books to page thirteen and take out your homework!” Ben did as he was told hastily, knowing that he resents sluggish students. Upon opening his bag in search for his homework Ben could not find his homework.
“Where is it!?” Ben rummaged through his bad time after time.
“Is there a problem, Ben Gillies?” Looking at his desk Ben could see an ominous shadow covering him whole swallowing him up, Mr Walter was standing behind right behind him such as a hawk looks over his prey.
Gulping Ben replied with “I-I can’t seem to find my homework…sir” as Ben turned his head around to Mr Walter looking right down at him his face covered with darkness.
“See me after class” uttered Mr Walter, it was his famous one line that he used whenever a student had been caught doing something wrong or didn’t bring in their homework. Ben had goose bumps all over, his hairs stuck up as Mr Walter advanced back to his desk. Ben thought to himself “I must have forgot to put it in my bag considering what happened this morning… He’ll probably just tell me off and make me do the homework after class…great this day’s been a fucking blast so far” *sigh*
Class had ended and Ben was ready to receive his punishment from Mr Walter has he approached his desk hesitantly he grew more tense. Mr Walter looked up at him “go do your homework now on a desk, and you can leave”.
Ben was shocked with relief at this “is that it?”
Mr Walter replied back with “yes that is all…” Ben was less tense now and started making his way back to his desk “just this once though I’m letting you off easy, I have much more urgent matters than to discipline a fool of a student”. Ben felt embarrassed again and but at the same time relieved. “Once you’re done with your work just leave it on my desk, I must leave now” Mr Walter explained, Ben nodded in response.
“Finally it’s done!” Ben yelled out is success as he took a stretch back. He peered out the window with interest “looks like it’s gonna rain soon, I should probably hurry back home fast”. He neatly put the sheet on the desk and commenced a fast paced walk. “Wow it sure is empty everywhere…well I guess it’s because the rush hour after school is over now.” It was very silent everywhere not even the wind made any noise as the rain started to gracefully fall as if it wanted to escape the darkness from the clouds. As Ben started to pick up his pace he saw Isabella running too from afar. “Huh Isabella? What’s she doing here? She doesn’t live over here… and it’s already 4:30pm, I wonder what she’s up to?” Juiced by curiosity Ben was in pursuit being careful to not be seen. “Whatever it is, it seems kinda serious, I’ve never seen such a determined and angered look on her face before.” As Isabella turned around looking down an alley way her face brightened up, a large smirk covered her whole face
“Found you…” whispered Isabella
“Found who exactly?” Ben said to himself. Isabella went down the alley way and Ben slowly followed her down the pavement and then turning his head around the corner.
“Shit just stay away from me!” bellowed a stranger that Isabella was gradually cornering. The stranger looked terrified, like he had just seen a ghost. He fell over still crawling as far away as possible not even noticing Ben, then finally reaching the corner and turning around breathing heavily.
“What the hell is going on here!?” Ben thought to himself. “Wait a second, that stranger’s face…I know that face, it was on the news not long ago he’s a serial killer! What’s Isabella doing she’s going to get herself killed!” Ben was about to intervene when Isabella drew out a knife and thrust it through the serial killer’s eye instantly killing him. Isabella slowly drew out the knife and plunged it into him over and over again.
“Die! Die die die!” Isabella was frantic with laughter as she drew the knife out of the man’s desecrated still twitching corpse and stood up still laughing sadistically
Ben started to vomit a bit in his mouth “w…w…” he couldn’t speak his hands were trembling with fear, he turned around and started sprinting but tumbled down into a puddle where his ankle were he had cut it on the ice earlier.
“Whose there!?” Isabella screamed out. Ben’s eyes were flooding with tears, he grabbed onto the side bar as he heard Isabella’s stamping feet down coming right down the alley way towards him. He could barely stand but knew that he was next if he did not start running for his life. He ran, he dashed home faster than he had ever ran before darting around corner after corner, with his vision blurred by his tears, his throat swelling up unable to talk or hardly breathe. He was petrified, but he kept running despite the immense pain from where his ankle was cut slamming down with every step, his heart feeling like it would explode through the huge adrenaline rush. The footsteps behind him became fainter and fainter…they had finally died out, and Ben had reached home his sanctuary. He snatched his key from his pocket and tried to put it in incapable of keeping his hand straight, worried that Isabella might catch up with him, he grabbed the hand holding the key, steadied it and inserted it in opening the door jumping inside and then slamming it shut. Ben’s breath was heavy and racing “wh…what the hell did I just see…why…why…I can’t even. Why, why is Isabella a… a… a killer” Ben’s head sobbed down and he started crying again his eyes were red with bloodshot, he did not know what to do.
“Stop being so weak already, you pathetic pitiful bastard!” He suddenly opened his eyes.
“Wh…whose there!?” He screeched out, no response. He thought to himself “ what the hell…I’m sure I just heard someone’s voice…But I'm all alone” images of the deceased serial killer came back to his mind, he shook his head expelling the images “it didn’t even sound like a voice I’ve ever heard of before, am I going insane? Damn it!” He punched the wall not even able to feel much physical pain, all that flooded him was emotional pain. After a long amount of regretting seeing the scene and depression Ben bit by bit stood up and just clambered up the stairs to bed not having any desire to do anything else. Ben thought that his life was over, the girl he had a crush on for years has now turned into a murder, he has a strange new power, and little did he know that this was just the beginning of his problems, things were going to get a whole lot worse.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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Wow that chapter was great I loved how Isabelle has turned into something Ben dislikes, I have a feeling though that there is a logical explanation for this that your going to give in the next chapter right correct me if im wrong.
Overall your story content is probably the best it has been in the whole of the story so far.
I agree with Timmy Jake that you could have shorter paragraphs though. Did I mention that I love the great twist if I did then im just reiterating it again mate great work
Timmyjake here to give you a review! (sort of)
First of all, I've read quite a few teen novels and none of them had such high language as you have in this... If you are planning(hoping) on having your book published someday, you might want to go with a little less... blatant language.. f**k being one of them. Just a suggestion...
Love the story line and your style. Oh, and the paragraph size could be shortened. His power seems really cool!!
Howdy, Doug here to review you!
Wow, that was a really intense piece there. I like the imagery you put in there, and I also like how you brought back Isabella, even if it was in a creepy manner. Now, the only problems I have are that the paragraphs seem kind of large for the tone you're trying to cast. I find that it adds a bit more suspense if they're shorter, and makes the reader read slower. Secondly, something that stuck out was when Ben said "shit!" underneath his breath. You do realize that by adding an exclamation point to the end of that kind of negates how he said it underneath his breath right? I don't know it just sounded kind of funny to me. Lastly, I saw that a lot of it kind of jumped to the next part pretty quickly. It would make it more intense if you kind of slowed it down, put a few more details in there, gave what Ben is thinking, what he is feeling. That kind of stuff.
Other than that I really enjoyed this, and I hope that what I said on chapter 2 helps you with grammatical problems you might encounter. Keep writing about this guy!