16+ Language Violence Mature Content

The Elemental Survival Games Chapter 1 School Life and Introductions

Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language, violence, and mature content.

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Authors note: I know that there's minimal use of strong language and violence and mature content at the moment but possibilities of this happening later on is high therefore all chapters will be given this rating and possible going up to an age 18+

The Elemental survival games

Chapter 1: Introductions and School Life

Ben Gillies was a sixteen year old boy who lived in London and went to London Grammar School LGS for short he had just started year eleven. Ben had hazel eyes, short brown hair, was reasonably skinny and was about five feet and seven inches. He was quite a lazy person who enjoyed playing video games a lot, he was quite nervous around other people, he could easily lose his temper but he was still quite kind at times. Ben was quite a lonely person, he is an only child, his father died when Ben was only six years old and his mum has to work abroad to be able to gain enough money to keep their house and Ben alive. Ben has a granddad and grandmother but rarely ever sees them because they live in Scotland. Ever since Ben’s dad died due to cancer he’s been having nightmares about it and other odd occurrences as well.

Thursday September 19th 2013

No no no no! NO NO NO!”

Ben stop day dreaming this instant!”

Ben woke up from his peculiar dream to find his chemistry teacher giving him a scolding. As Ben rubbed his eyes with his two fingers, removing the sleep from his eyes, he took a grand stretch leaning backwards on his chair yawning like a tiger. He then found himself in the middle of a chemistry lesson with the whole class eagerly watching him like a hawk watching his prey. *sigh* “Are you done now Ben?” questioned Mr Hammet. Ben looked at his chemistry teacher whose name was Mr Hammet only to find an unimpressed face and a question written on the board. “So Ben what is the chemical formula for limestone more properly known as calcium carbonate?” Ben was still dazed and hadn’t a clue to the answer. Ben had accepted that he was going to have to lose this one. “Umm… I don’t know” He replied with.

You never know do you Ben?”

No, sorry sir I’ll try harder next time”

All the class started snickering and laughing at Ben. Ben just slowly sunk down into his chair; his face was as red as a tomato. Mr Hammet was looking around for his next victim, he then saw Isabella not paying attention too.

Okay then, Isabella do you know the answer?” Isabella was startled to by the question, but due to her supreme intellect she hastily replied

Yes the answer is CaCO3”. Surprised that she managed to get the answer right when she wasn’t paying much attention to his class Mr Hammet then did remember that she was the top student in the class.

Yes… er…. very good Isabella. Okay next up does anyone know what’s next in the limestone cycle and the chemical formula?” James then sprung up his hand, punching the air, looking very eager to answer. James Low was sixteen years old, had blonde spikey hair, had green eyes and was very athletic, he was always beating track running times. All the girls loved James and his good looks; he was like the “dream boy” every girl wanted. He was still a very considerate person and always cheered up everyone regardless of who they were, so indeed some boys got jealous of him attracting all the other girls no one ever really hated him. James was Ben’s only real friend and quite a close one to Ben, they went to the same primary school and his mum was friends with Ben’s mum so they got along well. Mr Hammet choose James

Well the next thing in it is quick lime and its chemical formula is CaO.”

Yes that is correct James well done.”

By now Ben had recovered from his crushing defeat. He always hated being embarrassed and looking like an idiot in front of the class, especially in front of Isabella. Ben rose his head up and started listening so he wouldn’t then repeat what had just happened. Just then he saw Isabella turn her head to Ben and gave a welcoming and cheery smile. Ben had a crush on Isabella and so did all the other boys in his year. Ben’s heart was beating very fast now in, His heart was that of a soldiers in a war, in all of the years Ben’s been going to London Grammar School (LGS) Isabella had never interacted with Ben at all. Ben had already just forgotten about staying focused on the class. Isabella Clark had blonde straight hair that was very well cared for; she had blue beautiful eyes, a perfect figure she was five feet five inches and was the best student at the school. She was the smartest and most beautiful girl at school with such a kind and caring personality. Ben had to react back somehow, he throw back a smile and held eye contact with Isabella, after a few seconds, or what seemed like heavenly hours to Ben Isabella who sat at the front of the class turned her head back around and resumed on with her work. Ben was bewildered he found it hard to believe what had just happened.

Fourth period had just ended; it was the school’s Lunch break. Ben really despised lunch break, there was never much for him to do during it. James always played football with the rest of the class, always winning the matches triumphantly. He even has his own personal cheer leader squad that cheer him on when it’s not even a proper match. Ben was not any good at football though; he couldn’t run fast and was always shoved out of the way by the other better more elite players. James did still invite Ben on numerous occasions to attempt to cheer him up as he knew just how much Ben loathed lunch break, Ben constantly and everlastingly turned him down every time as Ben avoided embarrassment as much as possible.

Ben just did what he did every other lunch break and that was sleep and think in the school library. Ben was still querying about his abnormally bizarre dreams/nightmares. “Damn it they just don’t seem to be coming to a halt, or even coming any close to a halt. What do I do? I feel that it’s getting worse; Jesus my mind is falling to shambles at the moment. Maybe it’s where I’m not getting enough sleep, okay I’ll try to go to bed early tonight, for now though I’ll just go to the library, nothing else to do…” Ben trekked to the library seeking something to entertain him with. Ben didn’t much like reading though, but this was the only place he could recede easily in without being bothered by others. Ben entered the library, amazed by the amount of row and columns of books all around him based on all sorts: horror, romance, action, adventure, sci-fi, non-fiction, newspapers and a bundle more types. Ben though being the person he is neglected all of that and dragged out a chair and started resting in the tranquillity of the library.

Ben awoke from his slumber feeling awfully weary; he clicked the joints in his fingers and then stretched out like a rubber band. “Wait what’s the time?” Ben looked at his watch and saw it was 1:26pm “crap I’m gonna be late for afternoon registration again!” Ben was alive and operative now he quickly grabbed his ruck sack swinging it around his shoulder and was off. Unluckily Ben’s form room was on the other side of the school. “If I’m late again Ms Galivan is gonna give me a detention”. Despite Ben’s non-athletic body he was running as fast as a cheetah does after his prey just like the cheetah’s life depended on it Ben felt like his life did so too. “Ok almost there, I should make it in time.” Ben’s breath was becoming very heavy he felt like he was at the bottom of the ocean due to the pressure on him because of his desire of not being embarrassed. “Alright now I just keep running straight h- CRAP LOOK OUT!!!!” Isabella was just coming around the corner running to her form room as well. *CRASH* *SMACK *TUMBLE*

Ow, oh not again I always never look where I’m going.” Exclaimed Isabella as all of her books flow everywhere

Oh god who did I bump into…..” Ben’s head slowly turned around and went distraught. “Oh my god, I’m soooo sorry Isabella, I was just running to form because I was overslept, then I was late and… then…. then… then… I” Ben’s words were coming out much fumbled, he was slowly becoming red again. “I’m just really sorry… are you… hur-”

Hurt?” Interrupted Isabella; “I was going to ask you the same, I’m fine though don’t worry, I’m a tough cookie heheh” Isabella was scratching her head and cheerfully laughing away. Ben was astounded and relieved that Isabella was not hurt.

Umm… do… do you want some help picking up your things?” asked Ben

Yeah that’d be great, thanks!” proclaimed Isabella. Ben reached out and picked up her folders and books and passed them to her.

So…where’s your bag then Isabella?” examined Ben

Oh yeah it broke yesterday I’ve been having to carry my books all day long, I’m just a bit of a Klutz I guess aha” Isabella was still giggling away, Ben now thought that maybe bashing into her unintentionally wasn’t such a bad thing after all now. Isabella stood up very gracefully. “Here take my hand” Isabella gently gave Ben her hand to help him up of the floor. Ben was very tense again and hesitant but he reached out and grabbed her delicate hand

Ben thought to himself “I can’t believe I’m actually holding Isabella’s hand, and earlier today she smiled at me, is what they call fate?” Ben noticed that her hand was quite clammy and sweaty though, Ben wondered why. ”Hmm is it because she was running around too? Today was quite a hot day as well, oh well I won’t say anything.” Ben made the most of it and lightly lifted himself of the floor and stood up “thanks.”

It’s okay” said Isabella. Ben looked at his watch it was 1:29 pm exactly, they had to be in at 1:30pm on the dot.

Shi-” Ben immediately stopped what he was going to say, he didn’t want to use foul language around Isabella seeing as she was so graceful and pure.

Hmmm were you going to say something Ben?” Inquired Isabella

Um… I was just about to say that we’re going to be late for afternoon registration.”

Isabella stood there silently “……….OH MY GOD YOU’RE RIGHT I COMPLETELY FORGOT!!!!!!!!” Ben stood there startled, but before he could say anything in response Isabella hastily grabbed Ben’s hand and hauled Ben along to their form room.

GAHHHH! ISABELLA STOP YOU’RE GOING WAY TOO FAST!!!” Ben also noticed that she had grabbed his hand again; he thought that today was his lucky day. “Don’t you think you could slow down a little!?!?!?”

NNNNOOOO I CAN’T BE LATE MY DAD WILL GROUND ME!” Yelled Isabella. Ben was amazed at how strong Isabella was to be able to tow himself like that up the stairs; she didn’t look that strong at all, delicate and weak actually if Ben was being honest with himself. They had arrived at the fifth floor where their form room was Isabella turned around and gave Ben another smile “thanks for the fun Ben hehe” She giggled as she gently let go of Ben’s hand and opened up the door. Ben followed on pursuit making sure the door didn’t slam in his face and so that he wasn’t late. Luckily they both made it by the skin of their teeth. Still Ben had many questions on his mind with Isabella.

How come Isabella grabbed my hand, how wasn’t she out of breath from all of that running was she just quite athletic? How did she pull me so easily? Did she not mean to grab my hand, and did it unintentionally, but she remembered to let go just before we entered the form room where the rest of the class where, so did she only remember at the last second. Or perhaps she wanted to hold my hand and was yelling and worrying about being late just to cover up that she actually wanted to hold my hand?”

Ben was trying to solve these problems in his head as he pulled out his chair and sat down but he couldn’t come to any definite conclusions. After school was over it was time for Ben’s reasonably brief walk back which only takes him seven minutes. Ben still pondered these questions from before, Ben can be determined with the oddest on things and these just so happened to be one of them. Ben finally reached home on the street called Holmoaks, the house number was 33 “well at least I can play some Xbox now” Ben took a deep breath as he seized his front door key in his pocket inserting it into the key hole and twisting the doorknob clockwise, “I’m home….is what people would say if they had anybody home to greet them.” Ben’s house was a medium sized house nothing special but good enough to be living well in. There was a small porch at the front door where past that there was a lounge where with a twenty four inch television where his Xbox was hooked up into, there was a kitchen in front of that which was connected to the lounge with some double doors. Inside the kitchen there was a fridge-freezer, a microwave an oven and plenty of cupboards filled up reasonably well with food, mainly sweets and chocolate. Then to the right of the lounge there were a flight of stairs leading up to Ben’s bedroom to the right and his Mum’s bedroom to the left although his mum was rarely home. Just outside of the kitchen was the back garden, nothing particular about the garden though just a regular garden with an area of about twenty metres width and twenty-five metres in length. Ben did his traditional routine of getting something to eat, generally some chocolate cake his favourite food, and then he plays Xbox until 6:30 pm where he makes his own dinner frequently being something basic like chicken and chips. Afterwards he then does any homework he has due the next day and then if he has any time he plays some more Xbox, watches television or goes on his laptop. He then gets ready for bed at 10:00pm Ben was quite well organised. As Ben tucked into his Ben he switched his lamp off and casually but gradually drifted off to sleep, little did Ben know that he was about to go for a trip down memory lane…

Comments & reviews · 5
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User avatar
ladcat13
Review

I liked the general descriptions here, but the beginning is something I've heard before a billion times. The life of a high schooler. The socially awkward main character. The crush. The popular kid. Also, you have a lot of run-ons in your writing. Using more commas would solve a lot of your problems, though some sentences need to be rearranged entirely. You use the character's actual name, "Ben", a lot, so try using "he" or "his" and only actually use his name every three sentences or so. Try to describe the exact actions and thoughts of the characters, then readers will be intrigued enough to continue to the part where the action begins. Also be careful about using dramatic irony, it has its time and place. Other than these things, this work shows a lot of promise. And as always, keep writing ;)

yeah I know the plot doesn't seem totally original but as the story progresses you're going to see it become really unique and the more recent chapters of mine are probably better than this chapter

User avatar
jls1638
Review
jls1638 wrote a review · Sun Nov 24, 2013 7:48 pm

Ok first of all i like the story so far a few grammar mistakes that I will point out an then I will give an over view of my opinion and any edits that I think would benefit you.

The first thing that I notice is the introduction's last sentence makes it to where you have to scroll over. Just a little odd, didn't know if it was purposeful. In the following part there should be a comma between girls and no

"attracting all the other girls no one ever really hated him." There are a few more places that could use commas but I am not going to go through all of them

"Ben’s heart was beating very fast now in, His heart was that of a soldiers in a war"
In the part above I would suggest changing the caps on 'His' just seems misplaced. I also noticed a few more caps in the middle of sentences so again just proof read here.

In the following part I wasn't sure if he was mumbling to himself or just thinking to himself, it might help to specify. I also found it in many other parts following.

"Ben just did what he did every other lunch break and that was sleep and think in the school library. Ben was still querying about his abnormally bizarre dreams/nightmares. “Damn it they just don’t seem to be coming to a halt, or even coming any close to a halt ..."

" I always never look where I’m going" would suggest maybe saying I always forget to look where I am going. They wording just seems awkward when I am reading it

Over all I think it is a good plot the only thing I would do is ass more detail. Other than this I can't wait for the next one it was pretty well written and I can't wait to read the next one.

User avatar
Mindfang
Review

I loved this story! It showed the grinding daily life of a student, which I have to go through almost everyday of the week. Some bits where very interesting, and others not so much but I guess that was what you where trying to do? I'm not you so I don't know. Ha ha that was so lame. Sorry about that. There are a few grammatical errors I can spy but nothing a quick edit can't fix, am I right? But anyways, off to read the next chapter.

Thanks for the feedback it's appreciated, and yeah it may seem a bit pointless and boring, all of these descriptions about Ben's life and other things but they'll become essential later on to show how he has progressed as an isolated, weak and shy character to becoming the strong character he will be near the end :) and yes I shall get around to editing as soon as possible

User avatar
braydog25
Review

Interesting story at times the story had me interested and at others it had me some what bored I was interested when it came to the information about his nightmares and was even interested as to why a guy like James who is so sporty and popular is great friends with a non jock, somewhat unpopular guy like Ben.
I liked the details and how the development of the relationship between Ben and Isabelle, I didn't think the eye contact interaction in class for the first time was necessary, though that's just my opinion.
I also didn't like the bit at the end about his daily routine, to me this was this was very unnecessary, as why do we need to know about what he does on a daily basis.
Besides these points though good story, I cant wait for the next chapter

yeah don't worry things really spice up a lot in the upcoming chapters, you don't know what's going to happen around the corner it'll really surprise you and keep you interested. But I will have to put in parts like these at times just to show of things like character development and to better explain things like that's what chapter 4 will be like as the plot is quite detailed. There'll be a lot more development of the relationship between Ben and Isabella in it though and lots of suspense in it

I really liked the story you put together here. The only thing I'd like to say is that it's kinda hard to follow with all the grammatical errors (don't worry I'm guilty of these myself). There is a lot of repetition that is very distracting, such as saying Ben over and over when you can just say "he." Another thing is that there is a lot of information that I felt could've been used elsewhere. For example, when you described Isabella after explaining that Ben was really into her, I felt like it would've sounded better to describe her beforehand. Another thing is that I see a lot of missing commas and punctuation. There is a lot of information that just sounds clustered together because there is no use of periods, commas, or fan-boys. But other than that, I really admired your diction, like when you said "yawned like a tiger's roar." I really like where this story is going, and I can't wait to read more! Keep me updated!

thanks and yeah I'll try my best to work on the grammar. It's my first time doing anything like this so it'll take me a while to learn all the ropes and become a good writer so thanks for the feedback it'll help me improve a lot. The story does take me a while to make but I will try and keep you updated, I've got loads of things planned out for it like plot twists, mysteries and more. If you've ever seen the anime or heard of the anime "mirai nikki" you'll notice that it's kinda similar to that as it's what inspired me to write these stories as the plot is like one of my favourite plots ever.



The inner machinations of my mind are an enigma.
— Patrick Star