Hello, although short you manage to pack a lot into this poem. It feels somewhere between Maddy Buckly's Wine and Wheat and Hoizers Take Me To Church. I wonder if those were things you pulled on while writing if not you should check both out. However, I will warn you that Wine and Wheat does deal with religious trauma so be careful ( it is a very good song still and seems something you might enjoy.)
As for feedback I only have a few more personal/nitpicky opinions. First off I understand this is just your musings but If you want to push this further, perhaps add small moments in between whoever's POV it is meant to be in and whoever they are talking about. It doesn't have to be much anything from lazy Sundays or quiet moments could elevate the sense of intimacy I get from a few lines.
Secondly, I feel the subject of this poem could lead to some very impactful metaphors using known in at least Christian lore/ beliefs forgive if that is not your former beliefs that is just what comes to mind. Due to the use of stars, I could see Lucifer (an angel that fell from heaven due to pride seen as a monster but later was humanized.) could be used to explore how many queer people are dehumanized and shunned despite being human.
Again I do not know your back story and I will deeply aploizge If I have offended or hurt you that was not my intentions. These are just my my thoughts from your well written work.
Keep going your words matter.
Points: 2401
Reviews: 35
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