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If anybody ever doubted the Silent Treament wasn't effective, trust me it is. It racks my nerves having a stoic person lying beside me, perfectly capable of speaking but deciding to stop indefintely. It feels like if you were walking around knowing you were going to die, but not knowing when or how. (Excuse my morbid metaphor.) That's almost exactly how I felt, though. I don't know what Matt is going to say when he finally decides to speak, but I doubt it's going to light hearted and the worst part is that I don't know when or exactly how this confrontation is going to present itself. I was the dark and I hate being in the dark. I know Matt didn't ask for a room with two beds on purpose (to piss me off and to try something, probably), but after I falsley admitted to being afriad of him he slept as far away from me as he could get with out falling off the bed and then laid there, stiff as board. We spent the next day driving, through Kentucky on Highway 62. I attempted to get Matt to talk by asking him questions off the top of my head, like "Do you think the KFC here is just called FC since the Kentucky part is already understood?" He grunted and for the rest my inane questions, just gave monosyllabic replies to. The day past like second were minutes and minutes were hours. When it was midnight he pulled over on the side of the road. I was wondering when we were going to stop at another motel, one that hopefully didn't scream, "Contract STD here!" I hoped he wasn't thinking of just camping out in his car. He got out of the vehicle and came around to my side. Opening the passenger door, he motioned for me to move over by nodding his head to the side. I knew he didn't want to stop, because he couldn't pretend like he was to busy concentrating on driving to talk and he knew that I couldn't drive and talk at the same time. "What? Does your head have a twitch or something?" He bent down so his face was only inches from mine which caused a sharp intake of breath on my part. He said, "Get in the driver's seat. You're driving us through the rest of Kentucky." with barely contained rage, his sea green eyes alight with fury. I stepped out of the car, making him back up. I didn't stop until we were chest-to-chest and our faces were as little as three inches apart. "Fine," I bit out, furious myself. I moved away from him and knocked his shoulder with mine as I made my way around the car. I looked at him over the roof of the car. He was staring at me with knowing eyes now. He knew I wasn't afriad. Someone afraid wouldn't of done that. I open the door and slide into the driver's seat. Pulling onto the road, the engine already running, I tried to remind myself why I decided to do something so recklessly stupid. Because I love him.
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141,411 Literary Works • 674,390 Reviews
Hey Lizzie! Such a nice piece of narrative you have written. I really liked the way how you described the scenes unfold. But I could not picture anything in my mind about this. Maybe because you kept it very short and vague. By reading we automatically come to know that this is something deep and we expect a long story and seeing this so short left me asking for more as it felt incomplete. More over you could have tried and given more description about their feelings and even writing in point of views would have done the trick!
The girl here was behaving so much like how us girls would behave if they were in her place. What I mean is you made this piece so real as if it really happened. I could relate to the girl because I always end up speaking too much if I did not know how to handle a situation and most of the time all of my efforts are put to waste because chattering helps the least. And the boy behaved just the way I would if I found out my friend or partner or whoever was afraid of me. Really liked it because I could relate to it.
Overall, good job! Could use a bit of paragraphing and elaboration of the topic and input of more details.
I believe you should try and make something out of it. It makes a good draft and I feel that the story is far from over. Nice work! Keep writing...