Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
137,849 Literary Works • 672,067 Reviews
One thing in your poem that stood out to me was comparing a lantern (Or flashlight?) To a flower, specifically a narcissus. I assume that specific type is significant in some way. I liked the imagery of the last sunlight on water, especially, "The glowing orange crests, And white sparks flung". Overall, I quite enjoyed reading this.
Hello! Here is my review.
1.What in the poem stands out to you?
The sunset imagery really stands out. The description of the orange crests and white sparks in the river creates a clear and beautiful picture. The idea of the sunset "swimming" is also very unique and captivating.
2.If you've read any of my poetry before this, does this poem fit what you'd expect me to write or is it different? What makes you think so?
If this is like your other poems, it fits well. You seem to use a lot of nature imagery and explore deep, reflective questions. The calm and thoughtful tone, along with the detailed descriptions, are what I would expect from your style.
3.How does the ending make you feel/ what is your interpretation of it?
The ending feels peaceful and introspective. The speaker finds comfort in holding a "yellow beam" of light, similar to holding a flower petal. It suggests finding beauty and peace in small moments, even if the bigger questions about light and darkness remain unanswered.
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm Kate and I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to: Kate's Line by Line Reactions;
I'll try and go a little ways away from my usual style of just the interpretation in general and how it made me feel and towards these questions you're looking for, just to try and provide more useful feedback.
I think the little repetition of ideas from the start going on towards the back is what stands out to me the most personally. Just this question being asked and then all that imagery of what this flower here sees, but then by rounding it back up to that you can tell this question really hasn't gotten an answer yet and that its simply what the flower sees all day. It feels very purposeful to bring about almost this feeling of a constant cycle of...well time passing if you'd excuse the pun xD
Unfortunately I haven't had the honor of reading much more of your poetry so I'll move right onto the third question. I think the ending is quite a hopeful one. This flower watches time pass, and isn't really the most important thing out there by any means catching the first rays of light or even the last but it has its place in this world and it loves itself for what it is. It speaks almost of contentment. Knowing where you are in life and being perfectly happy about it even if it isn't the answer to all your questions and even if it isn't glamorous.
And I think that's about what I have to say on this lovely piece! I found it quite an enjoyable little poem and I found myself reading through it a good five times to try and interpret it fully!
Aaand that's it for this oneee!!!
As always remember to: Take what you think was helpful and forget the rest!
Kate
Hello! Ellen here, I'm so excited to read and review your wonderful work!
First Readthrough/Impression
There's so much beautiful imagery here. It's very vivid and thought-provoking. I don't know if I've ever seen the sunset on a river. There's also so many themes and undercurrents here that I can just feel, even on a first readthrough.
Second Readthrough
I love this as an opening line. It sets up an introspective feeling for the poem, gives us a visual, and connects us to the idea of the end of something. What does 'seem to' add to the meaning of it, that 'I never know' is missing?
A lot of my thoughts on this have been about perception of past/present/future, but this made me wonder if it's about death, and what happens after we die. That's vague, but I like how much this poem leaves the interpretation up to us.
Your questions:
1. The structure stuck out to me a lot; I thought physically separating the first flow of thought from the conclusion was a powerful choice. I felt grounded in your discovery, reflecting the meaning of the poem I guess. It's very effective emotionally as a reader.
2. I went and read your poetry and, I think it is something I would expect you to write. It's full of vivid imagery, and follows your signature themes of moving through life and the way you perceive that journey. I love your poetry, and I'm glad this one caught my attention in the Green Room.
3. When I first read the ending, it brought me a sort of content feeling. It was a needed reminder for me to remain in the present. I interpret the whole poem as the narrator reflecting on their tendency to dwell on the future and the past and appreciate the beauty in both. And then at the end, they rest in the fact that they have the present moment to be in too.
Then the narcissus reference caught my eye. The story of Narcissus isn't really a happy one. So maybe the end is a warning not to get so caught in the present that you don't plan for the future, or learn from the past? I'm not sure. I'd love to know what you planned for it.
Thanks so much for putting this work into the world!! It was a pleasure to read, and I enjoyed answering your specific questions. I hope this was helpful, and as always, keep what is helpful and leave the rest!
Thanks,
Ellen
Hello, Lim!
I'm unsure if I've ever reviewed your poetry before, but I'm glad to be reviewing it now. I've briefly seen your work in NaPo and I have to say that you're incredibly talented. I'll get more into your specific questions in a bit, but overall, this poem's imagery is powerful. As the reader, I can see the scene you're describing. Your descriptions are specific and emotionally charged. I love this poem. With that said, let's get into your questions.
As I said before, the imagery of this poem stands out to me. The basis of my poetry comes from the Japanese style, which puts a heavy emphasis on imagery, which is why I gravitate towards it. One thing I noticed is that all of the colors you use in this poem are warm. Red, orange, yellow. I know that those are colors associated with sunsets, but sunsets can also be purple, so I'm leaning more toward you purposely picking warm colors. It makes the imagery very bright, which is good when your main subject is light.
I would say this poem feels like it's your style. It has a structure and a similar speaker to your poem "Bus Ride" but with the strong imagery of "Blank World." However, even though this poem fits your style, I wouldn't say it's repetitive when compared to your other works. It clearly has its own personality, but it's clearly a part of your personality. I hope that makes sense.
I see the ending as more hopeful. The majority of the poem speaks of the uncertainty of what happens to light during nighttime, which feels more like a metaphor for what happens to hope or joy during times of hardship. So, the speaker holding a beam of light at the end and knowing it's not the last feels like a reminder that while darkness may come, light will always return. And for now, the speaker holds that light and will be okay. Narcissus is an interesting flower choice because it's yellow, like the beam, but also has an interesting story behind it. Daffodils, the other name for the Narcissus flower, are associated with vanity because of the Greek myth, but also with rebirth and new beginnings, which I assume is what you were going for. Although, it can also be a symbol of self-love. Saying "Narcissus" rather than daffodil makes me feel like the flower choice was very purposeful, so I know it's important to the ending.
I hope those answers help! Again, I enjoyed this poem and I had fun breaking down my thoughts for it. You're a talented writer, Lim, and it was a blast reviewing for you. Thanks for publishing; I enjoyed reading.
Happy Writing!
Wist
Sorry for the extremely late reply - thanks so much for this thoughtful review!
Ooh, that's a neat way of looking at it! This poem came about because I was remixing two older poems I'd written that were both about sunsets/ evening time, and I guess I personally tend to associate sunsets with orange, red and yellow!
I'm glad you caught that! I think I was going for a more abstract interpretation with the narcissus being framed as something small (like the self), temporary, but in the present, as opposed to the speaker's big questions about origins and the future.
Thanks again for reviewing!