Young Writers Society

Hi!
I've never thought about the clouds this way! Definitely opens your eyes to look at the little things that we often take for granted in life, and you do an amazing job at zooming on certain scenes that really stick with you, your imagery is fantastic
1. Which image in the poem is the most striking to you?
"Glum windows
gradually forced to wakefulness
by orange lighting
and a star-speckled tree
left up through January."
It's a very vivid picture; the tree left up because you can't find the time (or can't be bothered) to take it down as you try and cling on to the very last remnants of Christmas....
2. Which lines could the poem do without?
This was tricky: the poem is a great length, and each line helps the story unfold. If i had to be harsh and choose one, maybe "by orange lighting"? Then again, I
3. Is there anything that seems missing or underdeveloped?
This poem is very well thought through, and unless you had a certain issue with its flow, i think it's great how it is!
Cheers! Thanks for putting such a great work out

- humblebard

hi y til animal! it tis i, herb reviewing your piece of poetry! i'll divide this review by question.

-1: which image in the poem is the most striking to you?
I love nature as a whole in poetry. Somethinf about talking about clouds at the start, and ending with clouds made the whole poem more... electric (haha pun)
but between the two, i'd say

In thunderstorms,
clouds hit the sky;
planes retreat.