Penguins of Antartica

by Lil_Pau
  • December 27, 2007
  • Poetry
  • Narrative
  • Other Poetry
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Penguins of Antartica

Penguin of North Antartica
Wanted to see his mama.
He packed his bag, rode on a sled
And waved goodbye to his friends.

Penguin of South Antartica
Wanted to visit the North.
With a sack on shoulder,
full of baked crabs,
A flip-flopping goes on as he set forth.

Both Penguins of Antartica
Skipped past a glacier.
They thought of an avalanche
And bumped into each other.

Comments & reviews · 2
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bubblewrapped
Review
bubblewrapped wrote a review · Mon Dec 31, 2007 8:39 pm

Agreed, this was very cute :D Jasmine seems to have covered the errors and nitpicky things, so I'll just say an obligatory "awww, Penguins!" :D

Happy New Year,
~bubbles

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Jasmine Hart
Review
Jasmine Hart wrote a review · Thu Dec 27, 2007 1:05 pm

This is really cute. I'd say "all his friends" in the last line of the first stanza for the sake of the rhythm.
I liked the part about thebaked crabs, but I don't think:
"A flip-flopping goes on as he set forth. " is quite right. It sounds a little odd. I get what you're saying but it could sound more natural.
I liked the last stanza. It made me smile.



The thing about plummeting downhill at fifty miles an hour on a snack platter - if you realize it's a bad idea when you're halfway down, it's too late.
— Rick Riordan, The Son of Neptune