Curiousity And The Catharsis
Hear the wind blowing,
sending our voices into the air.
We are merely colours,
ready to fade, as the pressure of guilt
washes it away.
A night comes by,
drenching the world in black.
Who shall be the one to light it?
Sweet roses and reveries
are cast into the skies.
We are still sleeping silently,
being frivolous and nonsensical
to this day.
Curiousity,
shall we let it take over our minds?
Can we ever let this power
change our courses midway?
Oh it flows endlessly,
streaming in our veins.
Waiting for the right time to arrive.
Curiousity,
foolish and dreamy thoughts,
all mixed in a calypso of stupor...
Into one awakening catharsis.
Should we let it take over us?
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I agree with andimlovegalore on the best stanza, but I have the same uncertainty over what it is you're trying to say. It is a little bit like the first three stanzas and the last four are from two different poems.
I don't quite understand where the guilt comes from, but otherwise I like this.
I think both of these stanzas are very strong. I love the simplicity of the first and the alliteration and vocabulary in the second.
It's not necessarily a bad thing, but I felt a bit like I'd been hit on the head with a thesaurus after that stanza. 'Catharsis' has never made it into the vocabulary that I use.
To sum up, although what you have here is well-written, it might be useful to clarify your ideas. You might even find you get two poems out of this.
says your age is 12. For such a young age you have a very sophisticated and educated vocabulary.
your first verse has a very melodic sense to it, but the rythym quickly loses itself itno the next stanzas where ryhmes seem to not matter anymore. But there is such a innocence and majesty to this poem that the ryhmes seem not to matter anyhow. If you actually are 12 I can understand why this poem comes off the way it does, but I have a 13 year old sister and her vocabulary is words such as ur, 2day, and cu-ltr. So I'm skeptical to what has brought you to such big words so fast in life. Maybe you could tell me why?
Keep writing here, but next time try to make it flow more, poetry breaks with big words and no rythmic development.
You have some wonderful words here, catharsis is a good one itself, and reveries also stood out as a lovely word. I love some of the images you put in, it really made some very vivid pictures in my mind.
My favourite was this stanza
I love the combination of roses and reveries, and then the contrast between the vivid redness of the roses and the dullness of silent sleeping.
The problems I found was that there didn't seem to be any point to the poem. I got all the lovely images, all those sophisticated words, the poem as written very well. It's just I didn't understand why you wrote it, what emotions are you getting across here? I liked it, I just didn't feel it, if you know what I mean.