I look away for a second and you changed
I can’t believe just how much that we’ve aged
When it’s only been one hundred and sixty two days
Guess that’s a while since I saw you last
I know you’re fine leaving us in the past
But I know that look and I just wanna know
What happened?
It’s like your innocence is gone
You’re saddened
And since I’m not moving on
Do you want a shoulder to bury your face in for a while
You know I love your smile
What’s wrong
You haven’t been sleeping
Been a long long time since you’re excited to see me
You’re on your feed constantly to keep from speaking right now
I just wanna know, what’s wrong
I’ve kept my distance
since those old texts
Where I told you
How I hoped this would go
I’m wondering if
You’re just as sick
As I am
Of being alone
Oh no
Can’t you see it in my eyes
that I see behind your smile
I could use someone who gets me,
I have gone the extra mile
To be there
To understand what you’re going through
Juvenile
what it is
to think that I
could solve all this
If we talked
But you can have it all
So what happened?
It’s like your innocence is gone
You’re saddened
And since I’m not moving on
Do you want a shoulder to bury your face in for a while
You know I love your smile
What’s wrong
You haven’t been sleeping
Been a long long time since you’re excited to see me
You’re on your feed constantly to keep from speaking, right now
I just wanna know, what’s wrong
You’re home on the weekends
Been a long long time since you said “just wanna be friends”
Youre still not speaking to me but I want this to end
Please tell me what’s wrong
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139,564 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
Hey there, 1234 is here with a very short review perhaps an extremely short one. Okay, let's jump to the review straightforward.
The repitition played a great role in your poetry work. Overall, it was an awesome, heart touching, sympathising, sad and also a rhythmic poem.
You do have a great potential as a writer. Keep it up! Hope this review helps you.
Bye!!!
Thanks!
Sorry, didn't mean that comment down below, I meant to write a review.
I love your rhyming structure in this, it's very effective and heartfelt and also the repetition that you used. It's written in such a simple style, but the words still sync up really well, which is awesome.
'I look away for a second and you changed
I can’t believe just how much that we’ve aged
When it’s only been one hundred and sixty two days'
I love this line, it's very relatable and applies to time slipping away and the past getting further from you. And you've also rhymed in a very clever way with the one hundred and sixty two days.
I hope that if this is true, that they are okay
I enjoyed reading this piece
Thank you! I really appreciate this because simple was just what I was going for. Yes, I wrote this about a real person, and unfortunately I%u2019m too far away to know how they%u2019re feeling. So me too lol
No problem