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Why?

by LilPWilly


I’ve spent all my life trying to make you proud

But I’ve been isolated made to speak too loud

I’ve thought about the end whenever no ones around

I’ve tried to play pretend but now I’m angry

.

Do you think you tell the truth

Cause I would never lie to you

But when you try to get to me

Sometimes you do

.

And when I take all the blame

I hate the way you say my name

You try to cover up your shame

You make me feel the same

.

When I’m at home, ohh

I’m never more alone

I’m terrified ohh

To see your name on my phone

Since I’ve found someone who sees it

I’ve felt such a sense of freedom

why can’t my home, ooh ooh

Feel more like home

.

I don’t mean to say I hate you

I admit I want to leave

There’s just so much that you hate

That I think I really need

I need quiet

I need space

I need friends

And my own place

I need a home

A home

.

(Breakdown)

When I’m at home, ohh

I’m never more alone

I’m terrified ohh

To see your name on my phone

Since I’ve found someone who sees it

I’ve felt such a sense of freedom

why can’t my home, ooh ooh

Feel more like home

.

(Full tracks)

ohh

I’m never more alone

I’m terrified ohh

To see your name on my phone

Since I’ve found someone who sees it

I’ve felt such a sense of freedom

why can’t my home, ooh ooh

.

(Only track)

Feel more like home


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User avatar
5 Reviews


Points: 550
Reviews: 5

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Thu Feb 25, 2021 9:00 am
MC wrote a review...



This is very emotional song. And I love that.
It follows your experiences with abusive parents. How they blamed you for their problems and not themselves. They relied on you to emotionally support themselves and you couldn't do that for yourself. Not even your parents would.
These events caused you to make you feel that your home didn't feel like home.
You needed friends, support, peace. You wanted a place that felt like home.
it has so many powerful lines Like "I'm terrified oh to see your name on my phone." or "I'm never more alone."
It's a wonderfully made song and filled with emotion and meaning. And I hope you are in a better place now after all that.




LilPWilly says...


Thanks. I just wrote it and I haven%u2019t really gone anywhere lol but I haven%u2019t been suicidal for a few years so that%u2019s good.



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Points: 200
Reviews: 0

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Tue Feb 23, 2021 2:50 pm
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Caljoh says...



Wow, I loved this. Really reminded me of some songs I've heard. Even though it may not have a consistent beat, its words are powerful enough to carry the song.

Suggestion
Maybe try to keep a consistent beat. Other than that, it's lovely!




LilPWilly says...


Thanks caljoh. What does it remind you of?



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11 Reviews


Points: 659
Reviews: 11

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Mon Feb 22, 2021 10:57 pm
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Emivanz1 wrote a review...



Wow this is such an amazing song! The power in this song shows that you have real genuine feelings for the story behind it. The song is really well written and I can picture this blasting on the radio some day.

Some suggestions I have are...
1. Have a constant rhyme scheme- in the first stanza you seem to have an AAB scheme but in the second it changes, and again in the third. I know not everything has to be constant all the time but I personally think it will flow better if it has more similarities in rhyme.

2. the word "angry"- I know that this fits in with the other suggestion I have but in that first stanza the word angry sticks out. It is a bit of a simple word. you could possibly change it to something more powerful like furious, or outraged

3. "to see your name on my phone", and "since I've found someone who sees it" - this isn't that big but what do those two lines mean?


Some things I LOVED...
1. The energy- the way you built it up was PERFECTION. starting off slow and hooking the listener and then BAM the song hits you with wonderful emotion and energy.

2. the onomatopoeia- all the oohs made it seem very musical and i'm glad you wrote them in.

Altogether this is an incredible song and even in its early stages it is much better than most other songs out there. Keep writing!!

Your friend
Evz




LilPWilly says...


Thanks! Those two lines are actually disconnected. I'm scared to see their name because I know I'm going to get chewed out, usually with friends watching. The next line references a friend who truly understood what I was going through and helped me to realize it wasn't all in my head. It's so good to get compliments when writing, because I get a lot of blowback from my family and friends and people like you help me to keep going.



Emivanz1 says...


ok thanks for clearing that up




Today I bent the truth to be kind, and I have no regret, for I am far surer of what is kind than I am of what is true.
— Robert Brault