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Greyhound Bus

by LilPWilly


I met you on the night I ran away

You knew exactly what to say

Maybe because you felt the same

I loved you for a day

When the time came

We went home as if we knew that we would be okay

I never thought that I could have this much pain

Just from missing a stranger

that I met on a train

So now I’m waiting in the rain

For the next Greyhound to take me away

What I’d give to see your face

Your face

I’m coming back to you

Because you’re the only person who

Understands

I’m coming back to you

Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand

In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train

I need to feel you again

I need to keep the faith

That you still feel the same

And when we meet again

You’ll know that together is where we’re supposed to be

The same as every dream that I’ve had since that evening back when we were seventeen

I still remember your young eyes

I still remember your young smile

It’s been a while

Are we still so juvenile?

I’m coming back to you

Because you’re the only person who

Understands

I’m coming back to you

Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand

In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train

I need to feel you again

I’m coming back to you

Because you’re the only person who

Understands

I’m coming back to you

Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand

In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train

I need to feel you again


https://www.beatstars.com/beat/greyhound---frank-ocean--powfu-type-beat-6188501


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14 Reviews


Points: 73
Reviews: 14

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Wed Feb 03, 2021 9:44 pm
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FlamingHomosexual wrote a review...



WOW! I’m speechless, this was amazing. But I’m gonna give you an actual review, or atleast try to!
First of all, the story is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. The lyrics have a very 70s feel to them, do you listen to a lot of 70s music? The song reminds me of something I’d hear on a Hollies record.
I will say, I wish you had broken it up into stanzas. It’s hard to separate the verses from the chorus and bridge.
But that’s the only thing I have against this. Great job! Keep creating! God loves you!




LilPWilly says...


Yeah tbh idk how to separate the stanzas. It looks fine until I hit publish. And yeah, I used to listen to a lot of 70s music, it kinda reminds me of don%u2019t stop believing.



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Points: 0
Reviews: 0

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Wed Feb 03, 2021 7:27 pm
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ManaHA says...



This is so good! I could feel every word you wrote! When it becomes a song I need to hear it!

This part was my favorite! It's so deep.

"I’m coming back to you

Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand

In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train

I need to feel you again

I’m coming back to you"

*crying*




LilPWilly says...


Thank you! I%u2019ve still got a bad mic and stuff, but I just got a new job so who knows, maybe I%u2019ll finish it soon. I%u2019ll remember to post it on here for you!



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48 Reviews


Points: 61
Reviews: 48

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Wed Feb 03, 2021 1:52 pm
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This is so beautiful - you are a very talented songwriter! Made me cry 😢 Keep writing :)




LilPWilly says...


Thank you, it%u2019s reviews like this that shape my songwriting and keep me going%u2764%uFE0F



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82 Reviews


Points: 4295
Reviews: 82

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Wed Feb 03, 2021 6:18 am
ImaginativeAlice wrote a review...



Hey Alice is here to give a review!!!

I really like the theme used in the poem, it was heartfelt and well written. There are full of emotions in the poem and I can feel it. Your word selections for this poem was amazing.

Suggestions:

Some small suggestions from me that will make this poem a bit more better.

I met you on the night I ran away

You knew exactly what to say

Maybe because you felt the same way

I loved you for a day


Maybe in the third line you could have used the word "way" in the last, it makes the flow better.


You’ll know that together is where we’re supposed to be

The same as every dream that I’ve had since that evening back when we were seventeen


This line is far too strectched, you could have wrote it in this way:

You’ll know that together is where we’re supposed to be

The same as every dream that I’ve had

Since that evening back

When we were seventeen




I still remember your young eyes

I still remember your young smile

It’s been a while

Are we still so juvenile?


Awe such a heart felt line, this ought to be my my favorite line from this poem.


Hope to see your new works in this new year.
Bye!!!




LilPWilly says...


Thank you! I wanted to avoid having way and away end a phrase in the same stanza, but maybe it sounds better than I%u2019d think? What do you think? Again I appreciate all your input, especially since posting it reminded me of your poems!





Ahh you wrote the best reviews on my poems!




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