I met you on the night I ran away
You knew exactly what to say
Maybe because you felt the same
I loved you for a day
When the time came
We went home as if we knew that we would be okay
I never thought that I could have this much pain
Just from missing a stranger
that I met on a train
So now I’m waiting in the rain
For the next Greyhound to take me away
What I’d give to see your face
Your face
I’m coming back to you
Because you’re the only person who
Understands
I’m coming back to you
Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand
In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train
I need to feel you again
I need to keep the faith
That you still feel the same
And when we meet again
You’ll know that together is where we’re supposed to be
The same as every dream that I’ve had since that evening back when we were seventeen
I still remember your young eyes
I still remember your young smile
It’s been a while
Are we still so juvenile?
I’m coming back to you
Because you’re the only person who
Understands
I’m coming back to you
Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand
In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train
I need to feel you again
I’m coming back to you
Because you’re the only person who
Understands
I’m coming back to you
Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand
In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train
I need to feel you again
https://www.beatstars.com/beat/greyhound---frank-ocean--powfu-type-beat-6188501
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137,609 Literary Works • 672,052 Reviews
WOW! I’m speechless, this was amazing. But I’m gonna give you an actual review, or atleast try to!
First of all, the story is beautiful. Thank you for sharing it with us. The lyrics have a very 70s feel to them, do you listen to a lot of 70s music? The song reminds me of something I’d hear on a Hollies record.
I will say, I wish you had broken it up into stanzas. It’s hard to separate the verses from the chorus and bridge.
But that’s the only thing I have against this. Great job! Keep creating! God loves you!
Yeah tbh idk how to separate the stanzas. It looks fine until I hit publish. And yeah, I used to listen to a lot of 70s music, it kinda reminds me of don%u2019t stop believing.
This is so good! I could feel every word you wrote! When it becomes a song I need to hear it!
This part was my favorite! It's so deep.
"I’m coming back to you
Because I can’t forget how it felt to hold your hand
In the cold, in the rain, on that cross-country train
I need to feel you again
I’m coming back to you"
*crying*
Thank you! I%u2019ve still got a bad mic and stuff, but I just got a new job so who knows, maybe I%u2019ll finish it soon. I%u2019ll remember to post it on here for you!
This is so beautiful - you are a very talented songwriter! Made me cry 😢 Keep writing
Thank you, it%u2019s reviews like this that shape my songwriting and keep me going%u2764%uFE0F
Hey Alice is here to give a review!!!
I really like the theme used in the poem, it was heartfelt and well written. There are full of emotions in the poem and I can feel it. Your word selections for this poem was amazing.
Suggestions:
Some small suggestions from me that will make this poem a bit more better.
Maybe in the third line you could have used the word "way" in the last, it makes the flow better.
This line is far too strectched, you could have wrote it in this way:
Awe such a heart felt line, this ought to be my my favorite line from this poem.
Hope to see your new works in this new year.
Bye!!!
Thank you! I wanted to avoid having way and away end a phrase in the same stanza, but maybe it sounds better than I%u2019d think? What do you think? Again I appreciate all your input, especially since posting it reminded me of your poems!
Ahh you wrote the best reviews on my poems!