Elephants have wrinkles, wrinkles, wrinkles
No one knows why
All the stars they twinkle, twinkle twinkle
Way up in the sky
Christmas bells they jingle, jingle, jingle
And no one knows
Why you aren’t mine
I gave you my time my life
I’d die for you
Well, remember me like elephants
I’ve heard they’re true
to their family
That’s what’s happening
You’re a part of me like Adam Eve
I want you on safari
Take you to Africa pack it up
Take my hand and don’t look back at them
I don’t know y
But I know u
You never lion
You take my pride and
Flip it with your smile
You be looking wild
Acting like a child
We’ve got miles to go and only one person to hold
So what’s the hold up
Whenever I show up
We’re ready to go
But never to grow up
Want me on the radio
We’re Hoping I blow up
But we know that
Just us is enough For us both
My folks can’t control us
And they know it
Let’s go
Got our trunk full for a road trip
Every time we see the road dip
We hit it like the same way we rollercoasted
Alone together on the coast
Like we’re supposed to be
Without you I’m a ghost of me
I see your frown
Whenever I see your parents posts
I’ll turn it around
Take you on a vacation get lost
Make the most of it
Bump that Stoney - -
Post Malone we’ll make it post apocalypse
We’ll chill in a Millenium
itchin for Zion that’s all it is
We’ll be together after all of this with all the kids
If we go too soon we’ll just Tom Holland it
But can you get more celestial
I know you really the best girl
Better than I can ask for
Passing Bora Bora on our way to Zihuatanejo
We’ve been there before
We’re tasting the world and overjoyed that there's more
What’s an eyesore
Seeing so many views
that we’re getting used
to life on the shore
Why do elephants have wrinkles
I guess it’s so we can see them
All the quirks yeah they’re pleasing
I can’t wait till we’re seasoned
So I can see yours
and understand why I think wrinkles are my thing
Your wrinkles are my thing
Elephants have wrinkles everywhere
On their trunks, ears, hips, knees, toes
That’s where the feeling goes when I see you
One look I knew I’d be true
I just want to please you
I’ll see you soon
Surprise you with tickets for two
We’ll drive until the skies turn blue
https://www.beatstars.com/beat/vice-city---kanye-chance-j-cole-type-beat-2628365
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140,068 Literary Works • 672,978 Reviews
This is really interesting, it just has no stakes. Like, I'm not sure why it was written or why I should listen. It seems very factual (ex. "Elephants have wrinkles") and makes me wish you evoked more emotion. I like the repetitive lines, but it makes it more juvenile, less sophisticated.
The items in the song just don't really relate. Elephants, Christmas bells, "I'd die for you," etc. What's tying it all together, and why are elephants important to the two character's relationship?
Also, don't rely too hard on rhyme schemes. Many great songs have loose rhymes, like "sky" and "survive" -- because they don't fully rhyme, it sounds a little more natural and less nursery rhyme, verses "two" and "blue."
Great start, but I wouldn't personally listen to this song.
Haha I don%u2019t blame you lol this was a challenge, so the elephants thing was kinda required. I wrote this Christmas week, so it just found it%u2019s way into the lyrics. Thx for the advice
It's really humorous. Yes you should finish it, it talks about romance in a way I have never seen before😂😂❤.
At first it seemed like a rap to me, you know. "You be looking wild acting like a child" cracked me up. Nice one❤.
Thank you lol means a lot%u2764%uFE0F
I did an extra comment on accident can one of the MODs delete this for me? Thanks
HIYO! Hailey here for a review! this is good I loved it. And yes it is worth finishing!
The way you worded it works so well and I love that its about elephants and wrinkles. I read the title before even clicking and Laugh thinking "Now I have to read this and review it!".
"Post Malone we’ll make it post apocalypse
We’ll chill in a Millenium
itchin for Zion that’s all it is"
this was my favorite part and the part i think was the best. Honestly please write more its so good. And thank you for sharing this with the YWS community. It was a pleasure reading this amazing work!
Thanks Hailey!
Np it was good so I felt like saying to you it was! But keep up the good work!
For some reason, it won’t let me edit the correct breaks in. There's supposed to be space for the chorus after let's go, and after your wrinkles are my thing. The chorus is built in to the beat, so check that out at the link above.
Sometimes hitting shift enter helps lessen line breaks; you could also us these things "~" to put breaks in between stanzas.