Nine
On Saturday evening Fey was just putting the finishing touches to her makeup in preparation of going out once again when her phone started ringing. She hurried to her room where she had to look for it among the cushions where she'd left it. When she finally found it she was surprised to see that it was Lilian calling.
“Hey Lily! How are you? I was just getting ready to... What's wrong?”
On the other end Lily was crying heavily, trying to speak but not getting a coherent sentence out.
“Hey, hey, is everything alright? Are you hurt? Try breathing with me, in and out. Out is important too. In again and out. In. Out.”
Lilian managed to follow Fey example and was able to speak, interrupted by hiccups and sniveling.
“Sorr- sorry, I didn't know- hicc- who to call.”
“What's going on? Are you hurt?” Fey was already putting on sneakers, not caring in the slightest that they didn't go with her dress. “Should I come to you?”
“I'm not hurt. I do-don't know. I'm sorry.”
“It's alright. Where are you at right now? Are you at home? What's your address? I'm coming to you, if that's alright?” Fey was slipping on her coat while passing the phone from on ear to the other.
“I'm at the dorm. If you would come that would be lovel- but you were just going out! I'm sorry, I'm ruining your evening, I'm so sorry.” The sobbing started up once again.
“No, don't worry. Tell me the address, I'm already on the way to the subway.”
Lily told her the street and house number.
“That's the dormitory not far from uni, right? I've been there before, it's not too far. I'll be there before you know it. Can you tell me what's going on?”
A loud sob was answer enough.
“I'll just keep talking then, okay? For now just stay with me on the phone and breath with me, okay? In and out, like we did before.” Fey took a deep slow breath to demonstrate. She heard Lilian follow her example.
“Great, you're doing great. In and out.”
She continued like this for a few minutes, through her short ride on the subway and up until the entrance to the dormitory building. Fey could hear Lily breathing ease up, her sobs growing less frequent and strong.
“I'm at the dormitory building now, what story are you?
“I'm on the second story, number 23. Up the stairs and left.”
Fey had been to the dormitory building before. Back when she'd attended university she'd had a few acquaintances who had lived here. There had been a few parties in the common rooms she'd attended. The building was only about a ten minute walk from the uni, five stories high with a common room and two shared kitchens on each floor. The students lived in small furnished rooms with even tinier private bath rooms.
Fey reached the second floor, the stair case opening up to the long corridor. The kitchen was somewhere to her right, she could hear people talking and listening to radio as they were cooking. She turned left, looking at the number plates by the doors.
“I'm here, it's me knocking.” She knocked.
When the door opened she put away her phone, taking in her friend before her.
Lily had her phone clutched to her ear, a scrunched up tissue in her other fist, her eyes red rimmed and snot leaking from her nose. She was wearing an oversized shirt and sweat pants, looking completely lost.
Fey stepped in and enveloped her in a hug. Lilian melted in her arms, feeling even smaller than she had looked. The sobbing started once again, the heaving breaths moving them both.
“Shh, shh, everything's okay. It's alright.” Fey managed to kick the door shut behind her, the sound startling Lily. “It's okay.” They shuffled together into the room. From the door leading to the main space was a short passage with the wardrobe and the door to the bathroom. In the more open space behind that there was a desk to the left and the single bed on the right.
Somehow Fey maneuvered them to sit on the bed side by side, her still wearing her coat and purse over her shoulder.
It took a few minutes until Lily had calmed down enough to straighten up out of the embrace.
“I'm sorry.”
Fey had used the chance to get rid of her coat and let it fall unceremoniously to the floor.
“I meant it when I said don't worry.” She scooted closer to Lily's and put an arm around her hunched shoulders. “I'm kind of worried though. What's going on? Has anything happened?”
Lily heaved a sigh.
“That's the thing. I don't know. I was studying and all of a sudden everything just seemed too much and the room seemed too small and too large at the same time and I panicked and everything got too loud and I didn't know what to do and you were the first person I thought of and now I've ruined your evening and you're looking so pretty, you even did your hair up and your make up and I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry.” During her speech she had gotten more and more agitated and had stood up to pace in front of Fey only to stop at the thought of having kept Fey from going out, her hands raised in horror before her slack mouth, tears threatening to brim over once more.
Fey raised and gently guided Lily to sit on the bed again and then proceeded to kneel in front of her. She took her fidgeting hands in her own and tried to speak in the most convincing way she was capable of.
“Please don't worry about me right now. I am your friend and I care about you and I chose to come here because I was worried about you. You are not a burden. I would like to help you. Do you know how I can help you? It's alright if you don't, we'll figure it out.” Fey smiled at her encouragingly.
Lilian answered with a small smile of her own.
“This is helping. You're helping. When you talk, everything gets less... less too much.” She looked up questioningly. “Can you just talk to me? Your voice is helping.”
“Of course. What should I talk about?” Fey looked around the room, searching for a harmless topic. She noticed for the first time that the only decoration was a couple of small water color paintings on the walls in the otherwise bland room. A stack of textbooks was on the desk, an open notebook and a pencil case besides it, but no recreational books, no posters, no plants.
With the lack of an outward starting point to talk about she returned to a topic she was familiar with, books.
“Do you want to hear about the book I'm reading right now? Well there are a couple of books I'm reading right now, as always, but this is my current favorite. It's about this merman, or merboy? Is that a word?” Lilian had nodded at her suggestion, lying down on her bed so her head was on the same level as Fey's. “He lives in a loch in Scotland and one day he finds this necklace among his father's things. He's never seen anything like it, although he is the blacksmith's apprentice.” Fey leaned against the bed, propping her elbow up against the mattress. “I know, seems like it wouldn't make much sense, underwater blacksmith, right? But the author, she explains it so beautifully, it all makes sense in her world, though I can't really explain it.” Lilian nodded interested, much calmer now. “So the merboy, he knows that this necklace is special, but it's missing some pieces and he sets out on an adventure to find the missing pieces. His best friend comes along, but they get into a fight over the necklace and it almost drives them apart, but then they have to stick together to survive and realize how much they need each other.”
Lilian smiled at that.
“It's good to have friends.”
Fey leaned her head on her folded arms upon the bed.
“It is.”
A comfortable silence stretched between them. Fey was almost certain that Lilian had fallen asleep when she spoke once more.
“Thank you for coming over and calming me down. It's nice to listen to you talk about books.”
“It's a good thing I like talking about books then.”
Lilian's eyes had fallen shut, but she still managed a smile at that.
“Will you talk about books a bit more?”
“Of course. I'll get some water first, okay?” Her legs were a big stiff when she got up from the floor. On the shelf above the desk there was a stack of glasses. She took two and went to the bathroom to fill them. When she came back, Lilian's even breathing betrayed her descent into the realms of Morpheus.
She took a moment to look at the relaxed features, Lilian's hair hiding part of her face. With a gentle hand to her shoulder and a quiet “Hey” Fey woke her.
“Hey, drink a sip of water before you go to sleep.”
“Huh? Did I fall asleep? Thank you. I feel exhausted.” She took the offered glass and sat up to drink it.
Fey sat down beside the bed again and took the half empty glass from Lilian when she'd finished to put it on the bedside table.
“Lie down again. I'll stay here and ramble about books some more.”
She took the advice and settled in.
“I can't promise to stay awake.”
“Then don't.”
She started talking about another book she was reading, almost forgetting the purpose of her monologue as she laid out the plot lines and different characters, their motivation and relationships. So caught up in her review was she that she missed the exact moment when Lilian was overpowered by sleep once more. When she looked to her friend to emphasize an important plot twist she halted mid-gesture as she saw the sleeping figure.
Fey relaxed as she studied her friend, wondering what had been the cause for her crisis that evening. She knew that she would likely never find out, as it was often the case with these things. Staring intently at her features she lingered for a few minutes to make sure she was really sleeping and then got up out of her crouch. She found a lose sheet of paper on the desk and took a pen to write Lily a note.
'Good morning!
I hope you slept well.
Call or text me when you read this, I'd love to hear you're okay.
Take care. Fey'
She considered her words and added a postscript.
'P.S.: Don't apologize. I've been where you've been last night.
I understand.'
She grabbed her coat and tiptoed out of the room, turning off the all the lights as she went, only leaving on a small lamp on the bedside table illuminating her note leaning against the water glass there.
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