I didn't know- NaNoWriMo project 2015 - Chapter 4

Four

Fey worked the early shift the next day, leaving her a bit groggy but giving her time to meet up with Lily after work. She had talked to Bianca about the possibility of a live reading by Ms. Fliegentöter and her boss had liked the idea. They'd agreed to talk it over with the author in the next week. Bianca would call her and set up a meeting if she was available.

At exactly 3:30pm Fey packed her stuff and left with a cheeky grin and wave for Markus who was working the later shift that day. The café Lilian and she had agreed upon wasn't too far. She'd gotten out on time and the weather was uncannily warm for mid-October so she decided to walk. She made her way along narrow cobblestone alleys that wound this way and that, looking in passing in the windows of sweet little boutiques and larger store chains alike. She crossed the open square by the theater, trying not to get into too many pictures taken by Japanese tourists. Finally she entered a quieter neighborhood and spotted Lilian waiting nervously in front of the coffee shop, turning this way and that looking for her, brushing her hair out of her face and checking her watch. She was wearing dark jeans and a dark gray sweatshirt that was at least one size too large for her and had a messenger bag slung across her shoulder.

“Hey, I hope I didn't make you wait too long!” The brisk walk had left her a bit out of breath.

Lilian breathed a relieved sigh when she saw her and shook her head.

“No! Not at all! I was early, it's my own fault.” She stood uneasily, clearly unsure how to proceed.

“Great. Let's go in then!” Fey took the lead and opened the door for her, ushering her in.

Fey had suggested the coffee shop partly because they had fantastic cupcakes and partly because she knew it to be a quiet café with very friendly staff. The décor was floral and mostly in pastels, feminine without being corny. There were small tables around the well-lit room, each with a different flower in a vase on top and many of them occupied.

They chose a table in a corner, allowing them both to sit on a bench along the wall with what felt like ten flowery pink pillows for each of them.

Lilian smiled timidly at Fey, not really knowing where to look and playing idly with the strings on her dark gray sweatshirt. Fey was also at a loss of how to get the conversation going and was grateful for the waitress arriving at their table. She had two menus ready for them.

“Hi! Nice to have you! Here you go.” They both took the offered menus. “Would you like a few minutes or can I take your order? We have a variety of cupcakes and cakes as well, if you'd like to take a look at our showcase.”

“Thanks, I think we'll have a look at the menu first, if you don't mind.” Fey smiled amiably at the waitress dressed in a frilly dress fitting perfectly with the theme of the café.

For a few minutes they both sat in silence as they studied the menus and put them away almost at the same time.

Their waitress reappeared almost instantly, cutting their awkward silence blessedly short.

“So what will you be having?” She had her notepad ready and looked at Lilian expectantly.

Under the scrutiny she turned bright red and started talking but had apparently forgotten what she wanted. She reached for the menu again to find what she'd chosen.

Fey cut in. “I'm gonna have a large cup of coffee. I haven't had the chance to look at your cupcakes, do you have anything special right now?” From the corner of her eye she saw Lilian relax a bit the moment she wasn't the center of attention anymore while the waitress started listing their seasonal specials.

“The pumpkin cinnamon cupcake sounds great, I'll have that.”

Lilian had gotten back some of her composure and managed to order a hot chocolate.

Once they were alone again it was she who first spoke while avoiding looking directly into Fey's eyes.

“Thank you... I... I get all weird in situations like this. I'm sorry.”

“Don't mention it! That's why we're here together, right? So let's just talk a bit and maybe you'll loosen up. Tell me about you, what do you do? You're in law school, right?”

Lilian tensed a bit, but at the same time she seemed determined to accept the challenge. She had tucked her hands under her, curved in on herself and let her hair fall on front of her shoulder.

“Right, I'm in second year.” She paused. “Uhm, I don't know what else to tell you?”

“How old are you? What do you do in your free time?”

“I turned 21 last month. I study a lot. There isn't much free time with all the classes I am taking and then studying.”

“Yeah, but the semester just started, what did you do during the summer?”

“I studied. I helped out at my parents' restaurant, but there were some exams at the start of the semester, so I came back early. I couldn't spend as much time as I would have liked with my family.” She smiled sadly.

“Seriously? You spend so much time studying? I knew law school was hard, but I never thought there wouldn't be any time left for fun. No wonder lawyers are so stuck up by the time they're done.” She realized what she'd said only after the fact and apologized. “I'm sorry, that's what you want to be, right? I'm sure you'll turn out much better. Especially with my help!” She laughed.

“Yeah, I hope so.” She paused awkwardly, not knowing what to say next.

Fey smiled reassuringly.

“Now you could easily throw that question back at me and ask me the same thing to get the conversation going. Just as a suggestion.”

Lily blushed again.

“Thank you, yes, of course. Uh... So, what about you? What do you want to be?”

Their waitress arrived with their drinks and the cupcake. “Just wave me over if there is anything you need, okay?”

Fey got back to Lilian's question.

“I'm really happy with where I am right now. I just love books and the stories they have to tell and the lessons they can teach and the feel of them and the sound the pages make when I turn them and their smell. To spend my day surrounded by them and get paid to do it, that's just heaven.” She took a sip of her coffee and talked on energetically. “The only thing better than that would be to actually own a book store and to decide entirely on my own what to stock. Like the book you almost bought? I would make sure to only have really valuable self-help books. We have a lot of frankly just appalling books, but we're part of a chain so many of the decisions aren't up to the store manager and if they decide they want a badly written pseudo-erotic bestseller with pathological main characters, we don't get much say in it.” She sighed wearily. “I'm sorry. I get excited about books and ramble like a lovesick teenager about them.”

Lilian had listened attentively, momentarily even forgetting to finish taking a sip of her beverage.

“No, it's so nice to listen to you talk, you talk so well. You're so lucky that you love your job so much.” She took a sip, turning to see who the jingle of the door was announcing. A young mother with two kindergarten children came in, ordering something to go. The boy and girl both tugged at their mothers coat begging for a cupcake.

Fey watched her watch the young family. Lilian's attention was obviously caught by the two children now each getting one half of a chocolate muffin, and she laughed softly as the taller girl told her brother off for stuffing almost all of his piece into his mouth at once.

Once they'd left Lilian noticed that she had completely lost track of their conversation and panicked for a moment.

“I'm so sorry, I got completely distracted!” Her face burned with humiliation at her conceived faux pas.

“Quit apologizing. You really like children, don't you?”

Lilian's face reddened even more and she looked down at her hands twisting and untwisting in her lap. She looked up at Fey, which was a feat in its own and asked: “Is it that obvious?”

She got an amused chuckle as an answer. “Yeah, pretty much. Don't worry about it, that's nothing bad! Do you have siblings?”

“I have a little brother. Well, I say 'little'... he's 17 and about a head taller than me but he's always going to be my baby brother. I looked after him a lot when we were younger.” She paused, then apparently remembered what Fey'd taught her and continued. “What about you?”

“I have a brother too, but he's a couple of years older than me.”

“What does he do?”

Fey grimaced. “He's being perfect. He finished med school in the minimum time required and got a job at the university medical center right away. He's married to the perfect daughter-in-law and on top of all that he's actually a decent human being. I make him sound awful for being so perfect, but if you'd meet him you'd love him just like I do.”

Lilian laughed amiably. “I don't doubt that.”

“So why do you want to be a lawyer? Or a judge, that's a possibility as well, right?”

“Yes, that would be a possibility, one among many. It's a good career. Respected. There are good job opportunities. I can work with people or not, however I choose. It's a good job.”

Fey eyed her critically. “That sounds a bit... don't get me wrong, but is it really what you want? You don't sound very... excited about all of it.”

The law student brushed her hair behind her ear and looked towards the front of the café where a father was just trying to feed his toddler with a glass of baby food while the child was reaching for the croissant his parent had on his plate. Smiling she turned to Fey.

“No, I'm not. But it's a good job and it'll make my family proud and I'll earn good money. Those aren't unimportant reasons.”

Fey considered her. “You're right. And it's not my place to put even more expectations on you.” Fey took a moment to look her over. “How are you feeling, by the way? You seem so much more relaxed, what was in that chocolate of yours? I'll have to order that the next time.”, she joked.

Laughingly Lilian replied, “Nothing, I hope. I don't know why, but it's just easy talking to you. I never had that with anybody but my little brother until now.”

“I feel honored.” Fey answered earnestly. They'd both finished their drinks. “Do you want another drink or...?”

“If you don't mind I'd like to go?” She looked unsure. “I'd like to get some studying done, I feel like I'm already behind this semester. This was so much fun though, I don't mean to say I didn't enjoy myself!”

“Don't worry, I don't mind at all. If you ever feel like it's too much you just say so and I won't be mad, okay?”

“It's not too much though!” Lily spoke with fervor. Embarrassed about her outburst she continued in a quieter voice. “I haven't talked this much in a long time without feeling exhausted afterward, but I feel fine now. I appreciate your concern though, you're so thoughtful.”

“Thank you, I'm glad you feel this way. Just... say if it's too much, anytime, alright? Do you feel up to asking for the check?”

Lilian hesitated, for a moment wanting to fall back to her strategy of minimizing the social interactions required, but then she squared her shoulders and gestured towards the waitress.

She didn't see her right away and Lily's confidence threatened to waver, but then she got her attention after all. She asked for the bill in a calm voice and payed easily while answering unfazed to the small talk the waitress was maintaining.

When they got up to put on their coats Fey congratulated Lily quietly. The proud smile she got in return brightened Lily's whole face.

They stepped out into the fading sunlight. Fey turned left to head for the subway station but stopped when her new friend didn't follow.

“I parked my bike just over there. I'm headed that way.” She gestured in the opposite directions Fey was going.

“Oh.” Fey was surprisingly disappointed. “Oh, okay. Uhm, so, when do you want to meet again? If you want to meet again, that is.”

“I do! Definitely. I feel.. well, it's really easy to talk to you and I think you could help me with hints now and again, like today... so do you still want to help me with... well the way I am?”

“I don't think there's anything wrong with you, Lil.” Fey gave her a stern look. “I'll gladly help you get more comfortable with everyday situations that stress you out, but if you just want to hang out and talk about how your day was or watch a movie that's great! That'd be awesome! I want you to know that I don't want to fix you!” Fey had gotten quite adamant towards the end.

“Thank you, I really appreciate that. And your help, of course.” She clasped the strap of her messenger bag tightly.

Fey beamed up at her. “So... wanna hang out sometime?”

“Yes, I'd like that. I'm just not sure when I'll be on top of my studies again...”

“Just text me when you know how your studying is going and when you have time.”

“Sounds like a plan. I will.”

She started a motion and stopped herself before moving to hug Fey after all. Fey stood perfectly still and made sure not to hug back too tightly.

After just a moment Lilian stepped back again. “Thanks for today. Get home safely, okay?”

“It was my pleasure. You too!”

“I'll try my best. See you soon!”

She turned and Fey stood there looking after her, wondering how she'd managed to befriend such a genuinely nice and apparently socially lost person.