Kind of a twist on the turtle and the hare---but I was 10 when I wrote it
Of course, not looking much for reviews or edits, just want to see your reactions.
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In Yellow Springs, Swamps, the wise turtle was polishing his shell. Then he put the moss cloth on his mud stool and went in his little house. Mary Anne, Swamps’s wife, stood with her hands on her hips, frowning.
“Slimer the frog just called,” Mary Anne said.
“I’d better call him back,” said Swamps. He was just reaching for the phone when he saw a sticky-note. It said:
Swamps meets Slimer at Treebark Avenue
“Oh,” said Swamps. “I’ll be on my way, then.” Mary Anne nodded disapprovingly and pushed open the door. Swamps walked out the door and walked glumly to Treebark Avenue.
***
“Yesss!” Slimer the frog said in a slithery, revenging voice. “Now Swamps can’t brag about going to Hawaii!” Slimer had called Mary Anne, Swamps’s wife, and had asked that Swamps meet him at Treebark Avenue. Slimer planned to race the turtle because Swamps was so slow.
“I’d better get going,” muttered Slimer. Sarah, Slimer’s daughter, came in.
“Get going where?” asked Sarah.
“Uh, the, uh, supermarket,” answered Slimer. Then he hurried out the door.
***
Ugh! thought Swamps. Where is Slimer? Then Swamps saw a little hoppy thing. He squinted...hard. Was that Slimer? Swamps thought so. Yes, it was.
Slimer came up and said, “Let’s have a race. The one who wins gets to go to Cuba.”
“Okay,” said Swamps.
“Off we go!” cried Slimer quickly. He hopped off.
“Wait!” yelled Swamps. Slimer ignored Swamps as he bounded around the corner.
When Swamps passed Slimer later in the race, Slimer was sitting on a rock talking to his friend, Michael. Slimer didn’t care that Swamps was passing him. When Slimer thought that Swamps had gone far enough, he finally continued the race.
***
Meanwhile, Swamps was tapping his foot behind the finish line—a row of rocks Slimer had previously laid down for the race. Finally, Slime came into sight. Slimer passed the finish line, dumbfounded that Swamps had won.
“Where is my ticket to Cuba?” asked Swamps. Slimer reached into his pocket and pulled out two tickets for Cuba.
“Here!” muttered Slimer cold-heartedly. Slimer trudged home. Swamps skipped happily home.
A few days later, Swamps was in Cuba scuba diving. Slimer was living in the damp area in Yellow Springs regretting the race forever.
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You wrote this when you were ten?
You had mad writing skills when you were ten!
I love this!
It is so adorable
Definitely weird. At least you didn't hear of my "creative" names back then. They sounded like diseases
Ok . . . Weird story, but I agree with Enigma, it's good for a 10 year old. I find it weird though that anyone would want a ticket to Cuba while Fidel Castro is still there. Anyways, keep writing, and if you need a review feel free to PM me on YWS.
Signed,
Lethero the Werewolf
Well, I've kind of forgotten the turtle and the hare story but I liked this a lot. If only I could win a couple tickets to Cuba that easily...ah, well.
Actually, this is pretty good for something you wrote when you were ten. I was a little confused on the second part, but no big deal. I found myself laughing at the end. Nice.