Written quickly in a class.
~~~~
It’s a clean white envelope, flat, no awkward bulges. It’s addressed to Estrella Jaime. Me. I glance to the left-hand corner of the thin envelope. It’s blank. No return address
I return inside my house and find myself a comfortable spot on the simple green sofa. I take one of my purple-painted nails an d delicately slice open the envelope. I see an orange and pink card edge peek out. I pull out the card which is exuberantly coloured and decorated with an excess of comical smiling daisies. I hope the card isn’t one of those silly singing ones.
Of course, I find myself, in a matter of seconds, listening to an annoyingly joyous tune of “Happy Birthday”. It doesn’t sound so great though. It buzzes and rings and clangs. Cheap card.
On one side of the card is taped a five dollar bill and two dimes. Opposing the five dollars and twenty cents is a short birthday blurb and “Love, Dad” underneath written in chicken-scratch. I can’t help but notice the large number seven beside my father’s writing. He’s eight years late, sad to say.
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138,206 Literary Works • 672,082 Reviews
That's a rather interesting name.
Missing punctuation.
This just struck me as odd phrasing here. I blame the use of "return"; "go back" would work better.
I believe you want "opposite". "Opposing" means "actively working counter to", and last I checked, money had no mind or will of its own.
I think this last sentence would be more effective if you cut the "sad to say" and made it its own paragraph.
Overall, there's not much to say. It's a quick little sketch and nothing more. I do think you could have incorporated more details, especially with regards to the card itself since it's such a major part of this story, though. Right now, the details strike me as a bit vague and not very descriptive.
It was actually a very entertaining story for just finding a birthday card. I was also surprised with the detail you put in. (I'm referring to the purple painted finger nails. What the card looked like, ect.) You didn't really put much detail in, but it was enough for me.
I just found a few mistakes in this paragraph:
One, If it came from the letterbox, you'd be inside your house, just inside the front door.
Two, Accidental typo
Three, not sure about this one, Would daisies be orange...and pink? If you added more detail to the card I maybe could understand the color coding easier.