-Inelegant-
It is time
to rhyme a rhyme
a poem I must write.
Pen is poised,
but so much noise,
my mind is like a kite.
Poetry
as you shall see
for me is like a fight.
I insist
I clench my fist
I better do this right.
I try this
and I try that
I try with all my might.
Coffee cup
time's almost up
I will be up all night.
No delay
it's due today
it's dawn, I see the light.
Much time spent
inelegant
please understand my plight.
So here ya go
you need to know
submitted filled with fright.
*This poem was a poem I had written two years ago when I started writing. It was supposed to be for a project for class, but I made a different one!XD*
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
141,411 Literary Works • 674,391 Reviews
Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. I am really excited to review this amazing piece of art that you have created, and maybe add some witty humor as well. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.
-Inelegant-
Italicized = My interpretation of the line
Bolded = Spelling mistake
Strikethrough = Remove
Underline = Add imagery/descriptive words
Spoiler
The name you chose for this piece fits the style of a new writer who forces poetry to come onto the paper.
It is time
to rhyme a rhyme
Many new poets force rhymes where there should be none.
a poem I must write.
People often think they can force poems to flow from their heart to their paper.
Pen is poised,
but so much noise,
my mind is like a kite.
This is what happens when you don't focus on your emotions when writing poetry.
Poetry
as you shall see
for me is like a fight.
I insist
I clench my fist
You are trying to fight with yourself to feel poetic emotions and failing badly.
I better do this right.
I try this
and I try that
I try with all my might.
Coffee cup
time's almost up
I will be up all night.
No delay
it's due today
it's dawn, I see the light.
You stayed up all night trying to write a poem and failed.
Much time spent
inelegant
please understand my plight.
So here ya go
you need to know
This is the story you told your teacher to explain why it is so... INELEGENT.
submitted filled with fright.
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.
So, to start off this review I know that I am a tiny bit late but thats alright. I don't review as much as I used to but I mean, come on now! You have some great poetry so I couldn't resist! So, what I noticed is that A few lines are missing commas. I have said it before and I will say it again USE GRAMMAR OR DON'T THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN! The lines that need commas would be "It is time", "to rhyme a rhyme", "Poetry", "as you shall see", "I insist", "I clench my fist", "I try this", "and I try that", "Coffee cup", "time's almost up", "No delay", "it's due today", "Much time spent", "inelegant", "So here ya go" and "you need to know". Otherwise, I loved the poem.
Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! So, happy Valentines Day ! I really need to go now, Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Annnd I think he brought a dinosaur to life. Great. Anyways, Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
Oh Grim, no bringing dinos back to life! They died for a reason!XD But thanks bud!
I love it!
thank you my friend
you are welcome
This is an awesome and relatable poem haha. I love that word inelegant! Even when your rhyming about not being able to come up with a poem you come up with this masterpiece!
That's great! XD and so relatable. I love the mind/kite analogy.
Thank you, who knew that an 11 year old mind could think of something like that when she barely knew what an analogy was!XD
XD I know, right? I looked over old poems of mine a few days ago, and oh my word, I was a deep thinker at 12! lol
This was beautifulllll!
I really liked the way you spaced the words and I love this!
One small mistake with "poetry" and a few words are repeated, but overall, it's great!
I can relate to this so well! I am usually too scatterbrained to write poetry so I do it at night when i'm at my calmest, and that usually helps (?)
Anyway, I love this of course, and you are awesome at the poem writing and stuffs!
Izzy
When I first published it, I noticed I spelled it wrong and went back to fix it, but then realized that everyone else wouldn't see the newer version like I would!XD But thanks, I appreciate it!
First of all, that was extremely relatable. I try to write poetry, but I never seem to be in the right mood.
Second of all, great rhymes, great rhythm. You slipped on the rhythm a few times, but other than that it was good.
There's a small typo "Poerty", but that can be easily fixed.
The premise was very comical, and I like the repetition of "inelegant" as well. Very nice poem, Lake! Great job
Thanks, when I had first published it, I noticed I spelled it wrong and went back to fix it, I think it only shows the original version for everyone else and only the new version for me!XD
@Flumadiddle @Ravenlord @Lumi @emolemon @Rydia @saentiel @Iggy @Omnom @EternalRain @snowmonkey9 @Begstita1 @KatieC @sheytato @nickelgotyourback @AnneTaylor @woahitherepal @WhosabellCanWrite @TheBlueCat @KatjaDawn @MJTucker @CocoaCat @LKSpinoza @jemming17 @VegasLights @Danni88 @SqueakieSilverShadow @269609