As I lay cozy, all snug in my bed,
I enjoy the imagination inside my head,
until I hear racket beside my bed.
It's my 5:00 alarm!
I quickly silent you, you annoying alarm.
Then we snooze together and let dreams carry on.
Enjoying the peace, then I'll be darned;
It's my 5:15 reminder!
Now I hush the ringing of my reminder.
Ok Alarm, let's put that behind us.
Eyes just shut, but here goes that timer
It's 7:20. I'm late!!!
I feel many people can relate to this poem. I myself can relate because I hate getting out of bed to turn my alarm off. I feel you've captured the essence of everyone's reaction to alarm clocks. But the second verse is kinda awkward for me. 4 out of 5.
Hey there! It's ZeldaIsShiek here to review another quintessential piece of literature that made my day and win this Review Day by helping the Red Pandas stay in first place and reaching my goal of 80 reviews. I might even get to 100, if I work hard enough. Anyway, that's enough idle chatter from me. Let's get into the review.
I really like this poem because I can relate to it in some ways, but in others I can not. It is also a really easy poem to grasp, as the meaning jumps out at you write away! Ha ha! Get it? Because I am writing a- never mind. It was a bad joke.
I can relate to this because I wake up at 5:00 every morning. I don't oversleep, though, because it is very easy for me to wake up and I am a morning person. It is more likely for me to fall asleep very early as opposed to waking up very late. I also enjoy the interesting rhyme scheme that starts out as (A A A) and then changes later, like the fluidity of barely being awake after having been shaken out of a restful sleep by an unwanted nois- I mean, alarm.
However amazing a poem is, there are bound to be errors or at least mistakes made by the author that the reader can spot easily. The only serious mistake I noticed was, "I quickly silent you, you annoying alarm," as the word 'silent' is misspelled and should be 'silence' in this case.
That's all for today. Have a great Review Day and keep writing. Good work so far, by the way.
~ZeldaIsShiek
Hiya! Space here for a review.
XD This is wonderful. I relate 100%. This was so funnily written, with a humorous melody, and I liked how you put exclamation marks because it really conveyed how irritated you/the character was.
I really have no complaints or advice for this poem. It made me laugh and it was written really well.
Good job!
-Space the Snickerdoodle
Hi. This is Kman134. I'm here to review your work.
I'm the same with you. every time my alarm goes off at 5:00, I kept hitting it to silence it. at that point, I just wanted to go back to sleep. then I goes off again and I keep hitting it for an hour. right when it hits 6 or 7, I lose much time to get ready and head to the college campus.
the rhyming was simple and easy to read, and the way each line was placed and perfect.
"It's my 5:15 reminder!
Now I hush the ringing of my reminder.
Ok Alarm, let's put that behind us.
Eyes just shut, but here goes that timer
It's 7:20. I'm late!!!"
This was my favorite part. it made me laugh at your reaction as I have make the same panic whenever I miss an hour.
anyway, this was a pretty good poem. I hope to read more.
@Flumadiddle @Rydia @Danni88 @Lumi @EternalRain @AnneTaylor @LKSpinoza @WhosabellCanWrite @woahhitherepal @KatjaDawn @snowmonkey9 @Begstita1 @SqueakieSilverShadow @Omnom @TheBlueCat @emolemon my cinnamon roll! @Sheytato @saentiel @Iggy @nickelgotyourback @RavenLord @MJTucker @CocoaCat @jemming17 @KatieC @VegasLights @269609
I have accepted that everyone is gonna like my poem anyway, so there you go...XD
i'm the exact same way! i was reading it as a rhyme at first and realized it was freeverse. XD iamacinnamonroll! lol ima new species!
120,189 Literary Works • 648,989 Reviews
Points: 0
Reviews: 34
Donate