Seven
years ago…
“Are
you sure about this, Erica?”
Twenty-two-year-old
Erica Stevens met her mother’s worried gaze. She nodded, hoping and praying her
eyes would not betray the way she really felt.
“We
can transfer churches,” her father suggested.
Erica
shook her head. “This is a great opportunity to be able to further my studies.”
Her
mother sighed. “As long as you are sure this is not because of what –”
“I’ve
been helping them for the past four years, mom,” Erica cut off. “It’s time that
they do this on their own.”
Her
father studied her intently. A few seconds later, he finally nodded.
Erica
smiled, relief coursing through her veins. “Thank you.”
Her
mother smiled slightly. “Go get packing then, young lady. I’ll call the
school.”
* * * *
Present
Time
Erica Stevens
slipped to the only vacant chair at the back of the church just as the music
team started struck the first chord. Distractedly, she surveyed the room,
wandering to see if it has changed since she had left seven years ago.
She
inhaled. In a blink, she was lost in worship.
All
too soon, the service ended. Picking up her bag, she slipped out the door
before the crowd could get to big. Quickly, she sent her parents a brief text
informing them that she would meet them at home.
Making
sure to keep her head down, she quickly slipped through the crowd and made her
way to the escalator. She was nearing the exit when a familiar feminine voice
stopped her in her tracks.
“Erica?”
the familiar voice called again. “Is that really you?”
She
turned around slowly, hesitantly.
In
a second, she was engulfed in a bone-crushing hug and just as quick she was
released.
“Oh,
my gosh, Erica,” Yna Carver exclaimed. “How could you not tell me you were
coming?”
Erica
grinned sheepishly. “I was hoping to get a few days of rest and family time
before I told people I was back. But, I guess, that plan’s out the window now
that you found me.”
Yna
threw her head back in laughter. “Come on. Let’s go get a cup of coffee. My
treat. We have a lot of things to catch up on.”
Erica
shook her head. “Uh, no. This will be my treat.”
“Fine,”
Yna agreed. “E-mails can’t even begin to cover all the happenings in the past
seven years.”
* * * *
Twelve
years ago
Eighteen-year-old
Erica stared wide-eyed at Yna Carver’s bloodshot eyes. “What?”
Sobs
wracked her body once again. “I don’t know how he could do it! After everything
we were taught – ” Fitful sobs overcame her once again.
Hiding
her own despair, Erica pulled Yna into her arms, trying to console her
distraught friend.
“Hey,”
Erica began. “We’ll get through this, I promise. Have faith, Yna. God is still
in control.”
She
looked up. “You’re not hurt by this?”
Erica
bit her lip. “I am. He made promises to me, too, Yna. But, it doesn’t matter. I
don’t have the right to feel this
way. All I can do is have faith and believe that God still has a plan for us.
All we can do is pray.”
“But
you love him.” It was a statement, not a question.
“I
do. But it doesn’t matter now. He sees me as a friend. Because of this
incident, I don’t think anything can happen beyond friendship now.”
“You
can’t be my sister-in-law anymore?”
Erica
smiled sadly. “Whatever happens, we’ll always be sisters.”
* * * *
Present
time
“So,
tell me,” Yna began, “How have you been?”
Erica
grinned sheepishly. “Well, I’m almost done with my residency.”
“Oh,
my gosh, really?”
Erica
nodded. “Well, I had a lot of time on my hands.”
“They
were the reason you ran?” she asked bluntly.
Erica
twisted her engagement ring nervously. “Yna…”
“Is
that what I think it is?” she cut her best friend off in exclamation.
Erica
grinned. “Yeah, I am. We’re getting marr –”
“Erica
Stevens?” A familiar male voice called.
She
felt her heart stop as she met Yna’s gaze. In her eyes, she saw confirmation.
Taking a deep breath, she turned around, meeting the eyes of the man who broke
her heart twelve years ago.
* * * *
Twelve
years ago
The
incessant knocking at their gate woke Erica up at dawn. Blearily, she crept
down the stairs. Their housekeeper met her at the stairs.
“It’s
for you,” she told her.
Erica
nodded her thanks.
She
found her closest friend, Rachelle Turner, huddled on the couch.
“Rach?”
she called out, taking a seat beside her. “What are you doing here?”
Rachelle
turned to her, a sheen of tears in her eyes. “I’m sorry, Erica.”
“What are you
sorry for, Rachelle?” Erica asked gently.
Tears
slowly rolled down her cheeks. “I made a mistake.”
A
sense of foreboding fell upon Erica. “Whatever it is, Rachelle. I promise I’ll
always be here.”
“I’m
pregnant.” Her voice was just above a whisper.
Erica
bit her lip and closed her eyes.
“You’re
mad,” Rachelle said.
“I’m
not mad. I’m…disappointed.”
“I
never meant for it to happen. It just did.”
Erica
shook her head. “You can’t tell me this just happened, Rachelle. This didn’t
happen in just one night.”
Rachelle
looked away.
“Do
your parents know?”
Rachelle
shook her head.
“Who’s
the father?” Erica asked, but in her heart she already knew.
“Matthew.”
Just
like that, Erica felt her heart breaking all over again.
* * * *
Present
time
Matthew’s
deep brown eyes were filled with emotion. “You’re back?”
“Unless,
it’s a ghost you’re seeing, I’m right here,” Erica snapped, surprised at her
own outburst.
Matthew
stepped back, shocked.
Erica
ignored him. He didn’t talk to her before she left, so why should she talk to
him, now? Her eyes were drawn to the boy beside him. He was the perfect mix of
his parents’ features, though his father’s were dominant.
“CJ?”
Erica asked unsure.
The
boy’s eyes widened. “You know me?”
Erica
glanced back at Yna with a question in her eyes.
Yna
stepped forward. “This is your Auntie Erica, remember?”
The
boy glanced back at Erica. “You were my mom’s best friend.”
She
nodded. “I was.”
“My
Dad loves you more than he ever loved my mom.”
It
was Erica’s turn to step back. She kept her eyes on the boy, trying to gauge
how an eleven-year-old boy could come up with such declaration.
“CJ,”
Matthew warned, his deep baritone sent a shiver down her spine.
The
boy barely glanced at his dad, keeping his eyes on Erica. “Why did you leave?”
Erica
bit her lip. “I was given the opportunity to study abroad. Your mom encouraged
me to go.”
“I’ve
been praying for a new mommy.” His gaze seemed to penetrate deep into her soul.
“Will that be you?”
“That’s
enough,” Matthew chastised his son, before turning to Erica. “I’m sorry. I
don’t know what’s gotten into him.”
She
ignored him again. “CJ, I’d like to hang out with you before I leave again.
Would you like that?”
“You’re
leaving again?” he asked shocked.
She
smiled. “I have one year left of residency then I’m coming back.” She paused.
“But I would really like to get to know you.”
CJ
glanced at his dad. “If it’s alright with my dad.”
Matthew
nodded, keeping his eyes on Erica who ignored him.
“Good.
I’ll text Yna,” Erica told him with a smile.
“Yna,”
Matthew began, “could you take CJ home with you. Erica and I need to talk.”
“Who
said I wanted to talk to you?” Erica snapped, meeting his gaze harshly.
Yna
looked from Matthew to Erica before nodding. “Come on, kid. Let’s go home.”
“But
–”
“I’ll
buy you ice cream or something,” Yna interrupted.
“Fine,”
CJ agreed begrudgingly.
Erica
glared at Matthew. “I’m going home.”
He
gripped her arm, preventing her from leaving. “Erica, please.”
“I
have nothing left to say to you, Matthew,” Erica snapped.
“Erica,”
he pleaded.
She
met his gaze. “Fine. You have five minutes.”
He
glanced around them. “Let’s get out of here.”
* * * *
Fourteen
years ago
Sixteen-year-old
Matthew Carver dribbled the ball in his hands before passing it to his best
friend, Erica.
She
caught it deftly and began dribbling. “What’s on your mind, Matt?”
He
straightened. “How could he do that?”
She
stopped dribbling. “How could he do
what?”
“Parker.”
Erica
turned and headed for the bench knowing Matthew would follow her. She sat down.
“Honestly, I don’t know. It’s kind of sad knowing that he’s left another broken
heart in his trail.”
“What’s
sad is that we were taught to respect women,
but,” he shook his head. “I don’t understand. I just don’t.”
“Maybe,
it’s because he hasn’t fully understood what salvation truly means.” She
paused. “If he did, he would know that respecting women is a way of honouring
God.”
He
stood up abruptly. “We’re pastors’ kids, Erica. Salvation has been ingrained in
our heads since we could talk. He has no reason – no excuse – to disrespect
women.”
“Matthew,”
Erica began softly. “Just because we’re pastors’ kids does not mean that
salvation is something we just inherit. Yes, our parents can drill it into our
minds, but ultimately, the choice is ours. It doesn’t matter what our parents’
do. Receiving the gift of salvation is our choice.”
He
sighed and met her gaze. “Promise me something, Erica?”
She
nodded.
“Tell
me. Tell me when I’m on the edge of that line – if I’m on that road.”
Erica
shook her head. “I’m not the right person to help you in that area, Matt.”
He
shook his head adamantly. “I know. But I still want you to. Promise me,
please?”
Reluctantly,
she nodded.
“Thank
you,” he breathed. “I just can’t imagine doing something like that to a girl. I
can just imagine what I will do if a guy did that to my sister. I would kick
his butt to the next century.”
Erica
nodded. “I know, Matt. But, the sad reality is temptation is everywhere.”
He
nodded. “I know that. I promise, Erica. I won’t be that guy who plays with
girls’ feelings. I won’t that guy who leaves a trail of broken hearts.”
* * * *
Present
time
“Let’s just stop
this, Matthew,” Erica stated tiredly. “Let me live my life.”
He
turned to her. “You want to be in my son’s
life. That means you will be seeing a lot of me.”
“We
can be civil.”
He
shook his head. “I just need to clarify some things.”
“You
have nothing to clarify –”
“I
do,” he insisted.
“Whatever
you have to clarify was clarified seven years ago.”
“Erica.”
“You
have nothing –”
“I
still love you!” he shouted cutting her off.
“What?”
she whispered.
* * * *
Seven
years ago
“You should go,”
Rachelle said with a smile.
Erica
smiled. “You think?”
Rachelle
nodded. “As long as you’re not contemplating on leaving because of us.”
“Rach,
I would never –”
Rachelle
cut her off sharply. “Don’t you dare lie to me, Erica Stevens.”
Erica
drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. “I want to give you a chance to be a
real family. CJ deserves that. You deserve that.”
Rachelle
shook her head. “Don’t do that, please. Matthew clearly loves you. Not me. I don’t want to be a replacement.
I may have a child with him, but that’s as far as it goes. What happened
between us may have been a mistake, but it gave us – me – a beautiful child.”
“I
have to do this,” Erica insisted. “For myself.”
“I’m
not going to convince you otherwise, am I?”
Erica
shook her head.
Rachelle
sighed. “Just promise something?”
Erica
nodded.
“If
something happens to me, promise you’ll take care of CJ?”
“Promise,
Rachelle. I’ll love him as though he were my own.”
“Another
thing, Erica?”
“What?”
“Promise
me you’ll give Matthew a chance when you get back?”
Erica
remained silent. “You know I can’t promise you that.”
* * * *
Present time
“I
still love you,” Matthew repeated hoarsely.
Erica drew in a sharp breath. “You
can’t.”
“I do.”
She took a step back. “Matt.”
He sighed, resigned. “I know.”
She closed her eyes. “I’m getting
married.”
He was quiet. Shock was clear in his
eyes. “What?”
“I have to go,” she muttered.
He nodded his absentmindedly.
She turned to leave. “I’ll call Yna
tomorrow.”
“I’ve already lost you, haven’t I?”
he asked softly.
She paused, glancing back at him.
“How can you lose something that was never yours?”
* * * *
Twelve
years ago
“Erica, wait
up,” Matthew called breathlessly.
With
a heavy heart, Erica ignored him. She knew if she faced him, the dam of
emotions she was holding back would break.
“Erica!”
She
kept walking.
A
hand gripped her forearm tightly. “Erica, please.”
She
tried to shrug free of his hold, tears gathering in her eyes. “Matthew, please,
just let me go.”
He
turned her around to face him. The pain and regret in his eyes seared into her
heart as he pulled her into his arms. “I’m sorry.”
“How
could you?” she asked him through her tears. “How could you do this to her? To
your sister? To your parents? How could you do this to me?”
“I’m
sorry,” he repeated, over and over again.
“Why
did you do this?”
He
looked away. “It was a lapse in judgement.”
She
shrugged out of his hold. “In less than nine months, these so-called lapses in
judgement can no longer happen.”
“Erica,
please –”
“Please
what?” She cut him off. “Please be on your side? Please tell you what happened was
okay?”
“I
know I hurt you, Erica –”
“Enough
please. Just stop talking,” she cut him off again. “I kept my promise to you. I
warned you about going over the edge. You have a responsibility to Rachelle and
I won’t stand in the way of that.”
Matt
took a deep breath. “I –”
She
held up a hand. “Please don’t ask any more of me.”
* * * *
Present
time
Erica collapsed
on the floor as soon as she shut the door to her parents’ house. Emotions she
thought she no longer had suddenly overwhelmed her.
“Erica?”
She
looked up through her tears seeing her fiancé staring at her worriedly. The
sight of him just made her cry harder.
He
crouched beside her, pulling her into his arms. “Darling, tell me what’s
wrong?”
Sobs
continuously wracked her body, preventing her from speaking.
“Oh,
darling,” Chris sighed. “Just let it all out.”
“Erica?”
her mother’s voice penetrated though her haze. “Oh, honey, what happened?”
Erica just continued to sob.
“You
saw him, Erica, didn’t you?” It was a statement not a question.
Erica
nodded.
Chris
looked torn.
Her
mother sighed. “I’ll leave you to talk.”
Erica
dried her tears and nodded. “I think that would be best.”
“Go
talk in the living room,” her mother suggested. “I’ll make sure your father
does not bother you.”
Chris
stood pulling Erica with him. “Thank you, Mom.”
“Let’s
talk, darling.”
* * * *
Seven
years ago
“You can’t take
that decision away from us – from me,” Matt thundered, frustration clear in his
eyes.
“I’m
not making any decisions for you, Matt,” Erica stated softly. “I’m making the
decision for me.”
“Even
if I love you?” he challenged.
“You
have a responsibility to your son,” Erica said instead.
“What
about to the woman I love?”
Erica
inhaled. “You have a responsibility to your family, Matt. You have a son and
his mother to take care of. It won’t be long before CJ will be starting school
and he’ll soon be wondering why Mommy and Daddy are not together.”
He
remained silent, studying her.
She
clenched her jaw.
“Look
at me,” he demanded.
She
met his gaze unflinchingly.
“Are
you really leaving to study or because you can no longer bear to see my son and
what he stands for?”
“I’m
leaving because I love your son enough to give him a chance at a normal
family,” she repeated, knowing she could not keep this up for long.
Matt
sighed, realization dawning on him. “You still haven’t forgiven me.”
Erica
closed her eyes and stepped back. “I’m sorry, Matt, but my mind’s made up.”
* * * *
Present
time
“What happened,
darling?” Chris inquired softly.
“He’s
really big now,” Erica mused. “CJ, I mean. I missed so much of his life. He’s
nearly a teenager.”
Chris
smiled. “You missed him.”
“I
do – I did. Seeing him after all these years,” she sighed. “I feel as if I
haven’t been fulfilling my promise to Rachelle.”
He
took her hand in his, placing a tender kiss on the palm of her hand. “You are
fulfilling your promise, darling.”
Erica
sighed. “I know.” She paused. “Matthew was there.”
Chris
inhaled sharply. “What did he want?”
“He
told me he still loved me,” she admitted softly. “Well, CJ told me first.”
“Do
you love him?” he asked, studying her intently.
She
froze. “What?”
“Do
you love him?” he asked, slower this time.
She
pursed her lips, before walking towards him.
He
averted his gaze.
She
took his hand, pulling him to his feet before wrapping her arms around him and
leaning her head against his chest listening to the steady beat of his heart. After
a moment’s hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her tighter
against him.
“You
would have let me go,” she told him, meeting his gaze.
He
smiled sadly. “If that was what you wanted, I would have.”
She
grinned at him. Standing on tip toes, she kissed his cheek. “And I love you all
the more for that.”
* * * *
Seven
years ago
Erica placed her
last bag on the cart, before turning back to her parents. “Thank you.”
Her
mother smiled sadly at her. “Are you sure about this, honey? It’s not too late
to turn back.”
Erica
smiled weakly. “I need to do this – for myself.”
Her
mother nodded. “Okay.”
Erica
stepped forward and wrapped her parents in an embrace. “Thank you. I promise
I’ll call once I get settled. Besides, I’m going to be staying with Aunt
Rachel. I’m sure I’ll be fine with her.”
Her
parents nodded. “We’ll come to visit in few months.”
She
stepped back. With one last look at her parents, she continued to the check-in
counter.
Half-way
through the airport, a hand clamped down on her arm. “Don’t leave.”
She
froze.
He
stepped in front of her, four-year-old CJ in tow. “Erica, please. Don’t leave
me – us.”
She
ignored him, kneeling in front of CJ instead. “Hi, sweetie.”
The
boy tugged his hand out of his father’s hold, bottom lip wobbling. “’Rica
leaving?”
She
pulled the boy in for a hug. When she pulled away, she smiled sadly at the boy.
“I’ll be gone for a while. But you can always call me, alright?”
CJ
wiped the tears away with his pudgy hands. “Okay.”
She
smiled at him, kissing the boy softly on the forehead. “Love you.”
He
smiled at her. “Love you, too.”
Erica
stood up and met Matthew’s gaze. “Do you love me enough to let me go?”
Matthew
averted his gaze and she had her answer.
She
pursed her lips. “That’s why I’m doing this. This is my choice to make – for
myself.”
* * * *
Present
time
CJ stared at
Chris intently from across their booth at the fast food chain.
“CJ?”
Erica called uncertainly.
The
child turned his gaze to her. “Why don’t you love my Dad?”
Yna
and Erica shared a worried look.
Chris
gripped Erica’s hand tightly.
“So?”
CJ asked.
Erica
swallowed hard. “CJ, your Dad and I just don’t love each other that way.” She
paused. “I’m sorry, dear, but…” she trailed off trying to look for the right
word.
“You’re
not going to be my new mom,” he stated bluntly, disappointment clear in his
gaze.
“CJ,”
Erica pleaded.
He
looked away.
Chris
laid a comforting hand on her shoulder as Erica sent Yna a helpless look.
“CJ,”
Chris began. “I know you’re disappointed that Erica won’t be marrying your father.”
He swallowed. “Sometimes, God doesn’t give us what we want, because He has
something better in store for us.”
CJ
titled his head slightly toward Chris studying him.
“Think
of it this way,” Chris continued. “This way, you’ll be getting an additional
family member, too, and maybe some cousins along the way.”
“You’re
not…” CJ trailed off and swallowed. “You’re not taking Aunt Erica away from us
again?”
“What?”
Erica exclaimed.
CJ
looked away ashamed, red staining his cheeks.
Erica
pulled her hand from Chris’ hold and took both of CJ’s in hers. “CJ, darling, I
told you, I’m coming back. Alright?”
CJ
looked expectantly at Chris.
Chris
glanced down at Erica before turning his attention to CJ. “CJ, kiddo, I am not
taking her away from you.” He chuckled. “I’m not even sure I could and I,
honestly, don’t want to.” He grinned at the child. “I was actually hoping you
would call me ‘uncle’ before long.”
CJ
watched them expectantly. Eyes studying both Chris and Erica trying to gauge it
there was a lie somewhere. When he seemed to be satisfied, he rewarded them
with a shy smile.
Erica
resisted the urge to breathe a sigh of relief.
CJ
glanced at Chris. “I can call you Uncle Chris?”
Chris
smiled. “Sure, kiddo, you can call me that.”
.
* * * *
Twelve
years ago
“You’re
going to burn a hole in the floor,” Erica muttered from the uncomfortable chair
in the hospital waiting room.
Matthew
abruptly stopped his pacing.
She
raised an eyebrow at him. “Relax. They’re both going to be fine.”
His
eyes softened a bit, gazing at her tenderly.
She
looked away unable to withstand the intensity of his gaze.
“Sometimes,”
he trailed off.
She
looked up and met his gaze. “Sometimes, what?”
He
swallowed, eyes wandering over to where the doctor was expected to come
through.
“Matt?”
she called softly.
He
gazed back at her, a mix of regret and longing in his eyes. “Sometimes, I wish
it was you.”
She
froze. “What?”
He
looked away as if in pain. “I wish it was you and it was at the right time.”
“Matt
–”
“Congratulations,
Mr. Carver. You have beautiful baby boy,” the doctor announced as he stepped
out.
Erica
sucked in a breath.
Matt
gazed at happiness in his gaze. “Erica, I –”
Erica
smiled. “Go. Be with Rachelle and your son.”
He
gazed at her sadly. “I’m sorry.”
* * * *
Present
time
“I like him,”
Yna stated after a moment’s silence.
Erica
tilted her head, eyes wandering over to where CJ and Chris stood heads bent
over inspecting a Nerf toy. “I love
him.”
“You
certainly do,” Yna agreed. “More than you ever loved my brother – more than you
could ever love my brother.”
“I
know,” Erica said. “But, I guess, Matt and I still have some unfinished
business to attend to.”
Yna
nodded. “You do.”
Erica
swallowed. “I’m not sure I want to see him again just yet.”
“But
you will,” Yna reminded her.
Erica
nodded.
“Come
on,” Yna called. “Let’s go rescue your darling fiancé before CJ talks him into
buying him more toys.”
* * * *
Seven
years ago
“Erica,” Matt
came after her, grabbing her forearm, stopping her.
“What?”
she snapped, turning her glare to him.
“I—“
Erica
pulled herself free from his hold. “You what? Didn’t mean to confuse CJ? Didn’t
mean to demean Rachelle’s position? Didn’t mean to put me on the spot? You
didn’t what, Matt?”
He
looked at her pleadingly. “Please, Erica.”
Erica
took a deep breath. “I can’t keep doing this, Matt. I –”
“I
love you,” he blurted out.
She
closed her eyes, softening a bit. “I know.”
“Then
why can’t we make this work?”
She
shook her head, tears of frustration threatening to fall over. “I—I don’t know.
I just feel as if I’m intruding on so many moments – like I’m robbing CJ and
Rachelle of a normal life.”
He
cupped her cheek. “You’re not. I – we both want you to be there. You’re always
going to be a major part of CJ’s life.”
A
sad smile tugged on her lips. “I don’t think this is a healthy environment –
relationship – for CJ. He’ll grow up confused. I—I can’t have that.”
He
clenched his jaw, determination clear in his gaze. “This will work, Erica.
Please, just give us a chance.”
“I’m
sorry, Matt,” she whispered pulling away from him.
“Erica?”
She
backed away. “I’m sorry.”
* * * *
Present
time
“Matt’s on his
way,” Yna announced as she reached them.
Erica
felt Chris tense beside her. She swallowed the taste of bitterness in her
mouth, forcing herself to nod.
“Really?”
CJ exclaimed. He turned his attention to Chris. “Can my Dad join us for
dinner?”
Chris
cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Sure, kiddo.”
The
child grinned. “Thanks, Uncle Chris. I can’t wait for you to meet my Dad.”
“Hey,
CJ,” Yna called. “Remember that book you wanted? I saw it at the bookstore a while
ago. Want to go check it out?”
He
jumped up from the bench. “Can we buy it?”
Yna
grinned. “We’ll see.”
Erica
shook her head, pulling a couple of bills from her wallet and handing it to CJ.
“Go buy your book, darling. We’ll wait for you here.”
“Thanks,
Aunt Erica,” he called over his shoulder as he dragged Yna to the bookstore.
“What
are you thinking?” Chris murmured in her ear as soon as CJ was out of earshot.
“I
think Matt and I should have that long overdue talk by now,” Erica stated
bluntly.
Chris
nodded. “Do you want me to be there?”
Erica
shook her head. “No, but thank you for asking.”
He
smiled tenderly at her and wrapped an arm around her pulling her close.
She
laid her head on his shoulder. “I love you.”
“I
love you, too.”
“Erica?”
Chris
froze.
She
squeezed his hand before meeting Matt’s gaze with a soft smile. “Hi, Matt.”
* * * *
Four
years ago
“Hey, Rachelle!”
Erica greeted with a smile as her friend’s image came through on Skype.
Rachelle grinned
at her. “Well, don’t you look happy? Isn’t med school supposed to drain your or
something?”
Erica
chuckled. “Isn’t being mother supposed to be the same?”
Rachelle
giggled. “Well, you got me there. But, then again, CJ can sleep through the
night already – he could since he was a toddler. He is already in school, too.
So, yeah. Not really too busy now.” She paused, eyes squinting. “But, you on
the other hand, look happy – happier than I’ve ever seen you in years.”
Erica
just bit her lip to keep herself from blurting it out.
“You’re
in love,” Rachelle realized, wide eyed.
“I
am,” Erica admitted softly.
Rachelle
pursed her lips. “What about Matt?”
“What
about him?”
“You
don’t love him anymore?”
“I
don’t think I’ll ever stop loving Matt, Rach,” Erica whispered. “But, I don’t
think I can love him in the way he wants me to.” She paused. “I realized that
now. And he—”
“—didn’t
treat you the way you deserved to be treated,” Rachelle finished.
Erica
nodded.
“Does
he?” Rachelle asked earnestly.
“He
does,” Erica told her honestly.
“Then
that’s all I need to know.” Rachelle paused. “I’m happy for you, Erica. I’m so
excited to see what God has in store for your future.”
* * * *
Present
time
They sat in
silence at a side booth in their favourite coffee shop – the place where he
told her loved her the first time.
She
gripped the mug in her hands tightly. Words failed her.
He
watched her. Marvelling at how different she was. The girl he loved had turned
into a woman of strength, faith, and compassion. At that moment he realized how
much he led her back all those years ago. How selfish he was to ask her to
stay. Seeing who she had become now was a wake-up call.
She
bit her lip. “I love you.”
He
met her gaze surprised. “I thought –”
“I
love you,” she said again, cutting him off. “But not in the way you want me to.
I don’t think I ever loved you in that way.”
He
nodded. “I’m sorry.”
She
raised an eyebrow at him.
“I
took you for granted. It was selfish of me to ask you to stay – to assume that
things were more than they were supposed to be,” he told her. “I was holding
you back. You had your own dreams to follow. We were being led in two different
directions and I failed to realize that.”
She
nodded. “But I was running away too.”
“It
was wrong to saddle you with a responsibility that was not of your making.”
She
shook her head. “I liked it. I liked being there for you – all of you. But…”
“It
just reached a point where you realized that you had your own life to live,” he
stated.
“I
guess.”
“We
were kids then,” he reminded her.
“We
were.”
“Our
relationship will never be the same you know,” he told her.
“I
know,” she admitted. “But we can at least try – for CJ’s sake.”
He
nodded. “We can.”
She
extended a hand. “Shake on it?”
He
grinned and shook her hand.
“Thank
you,” he told her. “For still being here for CJ.”
She
pushed her chair back and stood up. “I always will, Matt. As much as you’ll let
me.”
He
stood too. “Chris seems like a good guy, Erica. I know he’ll make you happy.”
She
grinned at him. “He is.” She paused. “We’ll see you at the wedding?”
Slowly,
he grinned at her. “I’ll be there.”
* * * *
Five
years ago
Erica fell to
the floor with a crash, an assortment of papers and medical books scattering on
the floor.
In
a second, a man knelt beside her.
“I
am so sorry,” he told her earnestly.
She
bit her lip and simply nodded as she gathered her things.
Without
prodding, he helped her. As she picked up the last of her papers, he stood up
and offered her a hand.
Not
wanting to seem rude, she accepted his help.
“Thanks,”
she muttered.
He
looked apologetically at her. “I really am sorry, you know.”
She
nodded again.
“Wait,
are new here?” he asked her curiously gesturing around the sanctuary.
“Yeah,”
she acknowledged. “Just moved here.”
His
eyes widened. “What a welcome I gave you, huh?”
A
small smile tugged on her lips. “Not the welcome I expected.”
“Let
me remedy that,” he told her and extended a hand. “I’m Chris Tyler.”
She
shook his hand. “Erica Stevens.”
“Well,
Erica, how about I introduce you to one of our small group leaders?” he
suggested.
She
grinned. “I’d love that.”
Not
even five minutes, later, she was introduced to a small group leader and found
herself with a new group of friends.
“Well,
Erica, I’ll leave you in these girls’ capable hands,” he said as a way of
goodbye.
She
nodded. “Thank you, Chris.”
He
grinned at her. “No problem, Erica. Hope to see you around.”
She
smiled back – a real one this time, not the one she’s been using for the past
years. “I hope so too.”
His
grin grew wider. “I have a pretty good feeling that you’ll be staying.”
It
was then she heard that soft whisper in her heart again. He’s the one, child, he’s the
one.
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