Young Writers Society

These are actually amazing. I figured if they were two separate poems I should stop my mind from lumping them together, but they actually compliment each other. I saw you said these were written off prompts, and it's pretty amazing that you can be told guidelines for a poem and still produce something amazing. Good job!

OH MY GOD. What have you done to me? These are totally relatable and they portay the feeling of the majority while still being unique to a certain group of people. Just WOW. You put society’s feelings into two short poems and that, that is both surprising and promising. What I mean by promising is that the vast majority of society will accept both you and your poems for what they are, life and feeling combined. The feeling and the words you put into this poem was shocking. It was shocking because in two short poems you explained socety and the feelings that people cause someone to have. BRAVO!!!!!! 10/10
Cheers.

Oh my gosh. These are some of the most relatable poems I've ever come by! I really like your work. I'm about to go and read your other works, because these are beautiful. Okay differentiating them by putting one on each side AND posting them together gave me a sort of "Sun and Moon" vibe. Hehe I don't know why. But I do think they go great next to each other even if they are from different prompts. I think their strongest connection and what makes them best together is the fact that they're personal to you. This is also a very cool form of writing. I don't know if I've ever seen it before, but then again I'm not that great at poetry so what would I know about style. Sooo... off to see your other pieces!

Thanks for sharing these two poems which express profound confusion over why everyone can't be trusted and about things not revealed and so we are left to ponder what they are. Since the purpose is to express a state of profound mental disorientation and it does that very effectively, I would say that they are well written in relation to that purpose regardless of whether we know the specifics or not.

The second one as to why people cannot be trusted seems to be that people are predatory by nature. People will lie in order to get what they want if there is no other way to get it. Lying becomes a sort of a tool. In the biblical account the Devil lied to get what he wanted-the adoration of Adam and Eve. Those who imitate him are called his children.

John 8:44 ►

You belong to your father, the devil, and you want to carry out your father's desires. He was a murderer from the beginning, not holding to the truth, for there is no truth in him. When he lies, he speaks his native language, for he is a liar and the father of lies.

I wrote these for a prompt- I was given these two emotions/feelings/personality traits and told to write a poem about each. Sorry they're so short and not so great- I only spent about ten minutes on the whole thing.
(PS I figured it be easier to differentiate them if I aligned them on different sides of the page-
tell me what you think, though.)
-LJF