Young Writers Society

Oh, wow. That ending was just... Wow. That was really well done, and well timed.
I really enjoyed how you wrote this. It was a simple idea executed perfectly. Delivering it's message clean and swift.
One thing that I will note in the line, "Cole was happy to have so many new friends! Then again, there was always something about Cole that gave off the feeling he wasn't really happy"
I think this line could be reworded a bit, as the first sentence is directly telling us that he's happy, and the second line implying that he isn't. Perhaps if you used words like 'should've' or a phrase like 'he thought he would feel-' it might convey your meaning a little better.
Other than that, really good job! That was an awesome read! Keep on writing!

Hello!

Here to review your work!

It is a simple story but has a lot of meaning to it. This world is full of liars and this is what happens to anyone who goes down that hole. Fabulous job with that! And the fact that you show it in such a simple way is really great.

Although in the beginning, you resay the word 'boring' quite often (which I would think a reader would lose interest) I am very interested. I want to know the end and I think that's why I kept reading. So great job with that! The ending was sad because he is a liar but I want to know his real feeling. However, it was good that you left it at a cliff hanger to not drag on your point. Great job! I will be reading more of your work!

_ from your friend
@PlainandSimple _

Oh I kinda like this. The story is really simple but it is honest (hahaha see what I did there?). It is realistic and very true to how one feels when one is a liar. The character Cole is interesting in a sort of weird way and I want to know more on his background. It has a clever ending and I enjoyed the 'short and sweet' factor it has. Thanks for sharing this!

Oh I kinda like this. The story is really simple but it is honest (hahaha see what I did there?). It is realistic and very true to how one feels when one is a liar. The character Cole is interesting in a sort of weird way and I want to know more on his background. It has a clever ending and I enjoyed the 'short and sweet' factor it has. Thanks for sharing this!

Oh I kinda like this. The story is really simple but it is honest (hahaha see what I did there?). It is realistic and very true to how one feels when one is a liar. The character Cole is interesting in a sort of weird way and I want to know more on his background. It has a clever ending and I enjoyed the 'short and sweet' factor it has. Thanks for sharing this!