Young Writers Society

Hello! I’ll review your poem too.

First of all, as niteowl said below, this is quite hard to review as it is in an image. For example, you cannot copy/paste lines to quote them. I also agree that although some poems need to be uploaded in an image of the format is important, but here the format doesn’t seem to be very important. Unless, of course, the background image is of importance, though I don’t really understand how this background image could be important towards the poem.

Although I do like this poem and the interesting concept of it, I feel like it would be more interesting if it explored why they were going to a party, what happened at the party, why they left the party early etc.

I’d also like to say that also the rhyming does make it sound more natural, there are places in the poem where words seem forced because of it.

Obviously, this is all just my opinion, so you have the right to listen to none of it. I hope this helped, and keep writing brilliant and interesting poems!

Hi there Ken95! Niteowl here to review!

Overall, I like the idea of this. I'm also more introverted so going to parties takes a lot out of me. I've also definitely gone overboard with the alcohol in an attempt to compensate.

That said, I'm not sure the font/image thing or the rhyme scheme are really helping. Personally, when I see unusual fonts and images on here, I find them more distracting than anything. It also makes it harder to review because you can't copy-paste and quote lines. Sometimes poems have to be uploaded as an image if the format is really important, but I don't feel like it is in this case.

Also, I feel like there's something missing in this poem. It focuses a lot on the aftermath of trying to be extroverted at a party, but little on what actually happened at the party. Was this attempt successful at all? Was the speaker more social, if only for a little bit? Why did they end up leaving early? I think this would be interesting to explore before moving into the aftermath.

As for the rhyme scheme, I'm a big fan of free verse because rhyme is really hard to pull off without seeming forced. To really work, it needs some structure and rhythm, which is there in some places in this piece but not so much in other places. For example, the second stanza starts off with a strong rhythm in the first two lines, but then the next two lines are longer and feel clunky as a result. The third stanza is all over the place, so the rhyme seems really off. Plus a rhyme scheme is all neat and buttoned up, which feels at odds with the subject of a drunk introvert. I would consider rewriting in free verse and adding more about the party itself.

To end this on a positive note, I liked the ending, especially the last line. I think it's thought-provoking and could be explored further.

Overall, I like the subject matter and I think you could do a little more with it. Keep writing!

First things first - This was an interesting read, with a shifting rhyme scheme and flow. I'm pretty sure you were experimenting with some new style here...

I honestly haven't been to many parties myself, but I know for sure that you write your own view of things decently in this poem. The background adds a nice aesthetic to your writing, too.