Young Writers Society

Hello there! DeepRoses here to give a review!


I really love this poem. It signifies your true love for your boyfriend and its truly adorable. I relate very much, for as i love my boyfriend just as much. The words you used were simplistic and not hard to understand but maybe next time you could try and use a larger spam of vocabulary.

When you skip each line, it automatically capitalizes, but maybe instead of letting it capitalize each line maybe start off the line (if it isn't starting a sentence) lower casing it.

Also what I have just learned today as I was writing more poems, I decided to divide my poem up into stanzas, which will make it easier to read and to review

Otherwise, i love this adorable lovely poem! I'm glad to see you used personal or real life experiences/people to inspire you to write. It is always fun to write about something or someone because it makes it much easier to think of what to write, especially when expressing your feelings through your topic

Keep up the good work!

King here

Hey there! Just passing by and giving 'short' notes of advices. I really enjoyed your work, it was romantic and full of very deep emotions. The thing that turned me off was the way you used the capitaliation. Actually in the beginning of each line. I get it, some people like it this way but I just do not think it looks so good if you have everything else on point and by everything else I mean commas, fullstops and others marks like these. I will edit the work down below, you do not need to totally agree with me. Questions are welcome and hope it helps you.



I love you so dearly.

You are a kiss to my heart.

My best friend, my first love,

We never shall part.

I close my eyes,

you are in my mind.

What I already have,

people try so hard to find.

I think of you, day and night.

You are deep in my soul.

I'd like you to stay there, please,

Tilluntill the days I'm grey and old.

And one day I will die, my dear,

but I'll watch you every day.

Because trust me, I love you a lot,

much more than I can say.

So if you feel a spirit near,

open your arms and hug the air- [I really do not understand why you have put - here]

Because I will always be with you,

combing my fingers through your hair.

Hey Kayley 01, it's AshleyDashley here for a review!

First off your title words should be capitalized. It would draw more attention to your poem. When I read it I really felt the love that you feel for Gavin. Your punctuation looks correct so good job on that. I saw no grammar errors, that's good! I really enjoyed reading your poem. I like the lines:

I think of you, day and night.

You are deep in my soul.

I'd like you to stay there, please,

Till the days I'm grey and old.

So if you feel a spirit near,

Open your arms and hug the air-

Because I will always be with you,

Hey there Kayley01. It's just lizzy dropping by real quick, so without a further ado, let the reviewing begin.

I'm not going to be here long because the previous reviewer already covered a lot of what I was going to say. I do want to add on a bit to a few of her points.

1. Capitalization of the Lines
-Rules of writing getting blurred pretty often when you're writing poetry. Capitalization in poems usually depends on the author's own style and I don't think the readers should be put off by certain things. But beginning every line with a caps does get to be a bit annoying by about the tenth line. Messed up caps and line breaks are the two of the things people really seem to judge, so I would be a bit more careful.
-It also sounds a bit funky when read aloud because the one sign is telling you just to pause for a second but the other is telling you completely new idea. I think alternation is really the best choice and writing them like regular sentences.

2. Overused Stories
-I usually try to avoid reviewing poetry, specifically romance poetry, for two main reasons. One, I don't really know that much about the specifics of poetry and all the different rules, so it's very likely I'll mess up.
Two, I hold a lot of opinions about romance poetry because of the overuse and therefore am not a good person to leave things nice and happy.
-This is another part that's been covered heavily but I actually need to be able to write this review about something. Pretty much everything in every literary genre has been overused. Every new story is a repeat of every old story but poetry seems to repeat even more often, well at least to me. Teen love comes up often because the poets here are teens writing about love. It's nice that you made the idea to recognize this guy but it needs to have something to draw the reader in.
-I really have no clue how to do that but somebody somewhere probably knows how to effectively rewrite poetry. The best thing I can offer is, make it vivid and write the lines the way your emotions feel around the guy.

I guess it's sort of obvious to you at this point that I did not like the poem. Sorry to say that but there aren't many pieces out there I genuinely enjoy. I hope I spelled that right.

Well I guess that's really about all I have for this review. Hopefully one of these comments will be helpful to you even though I was here for such a short time.
Good luck with your writing and have a nice day.
Happy RevMo.
Lizzy
The Queen of the Book Clubs

This is my 250th review.

Hey I'm here to review your work

Grammar:

I love you so dearly,
you are a kiss to my heart.
My best friend, my first love,
we never shall part.
I close my eyes,
you are in my mind.
What I already have,
people try so hard to find.
I think of you, day and night.
You are deep in my soul.
I'd like you to stay there, please,
'till the days I'm grey and old.
and one day I will die, my dear,
but I'll watch you every day.
Because trust me, I love you a lot,
much more than I can say.
So if you feel a spirit near,
open your arms and hug the air—
because I will always be with you,
combing my fingers through your hair.