Disabilities, no need to compare

Hey, yo, Kayley01! Strange here on this FRIDAY AFTERNOOn and I have a review for you!

This might be an interesting review. I notice other reviewers are "trying to keep their opinion out of this", but mine might pop up in some places. Not because I hate the Disabled, not at all that'd be horrific, but there is one thing in this poem that I do want to talk about. If I do say something that rubs you the wrong way, it's completely unintentional and I apologize in advance.

This was a simple poem. I think that's why I wasn't a fan. In poetry, the reader automatically expects some crazy poetic device or something that resembles poetry. Instead, the poem is blunt. It could be an essay/story/Other instead and it'll work better than it does as a poem. That shouldn't happen. Along with that, the message/how you portrayed it didn't work that well. Let's get into this, shall we?

Nobody's got to love me,
and nobody's got to care,
all I'm asking is respect,
so please don't stop and stare,
as far as looks go I'm aware,
but on the inside I am the same as you,
there's no need to compare.

Every one who sees me,
gasps then walks away,
all I'm looking for is friends,
I wish that you would stay.

Sometimes I wander whats going on in side of all your heads,

you think I don't notice the whispers,
and all the things you said.

Still I will forgive you,
and be patient for the day,
that one of you will see me,
and still decide to stay.

Hi! Its Corgi here with a review! I loved this poem! I see people all the time staring at disabled people, and i think this poem describes exactly what the disabled person is thinking! The poem was very powerful to me, and it gives an important message. You made that message very clear in this poem. I found only a few things that bothered me.

Sometimes I wander whats going on in side of all your heads,
you think I don't notice the whispers,
and all the things you said.

Nobody's got to love me,
and nobody's got to care,
all I'm asking is respect,
so please don't stop and stare,
as far as looks go I'm aware,
but on the inside I am the same as you,
there's no need to compare.

Hey, Dogs here to review!

This review is a little long because I have tons to say about this poem!

So let's get started. I have tons to say about this poem.

I totally agree, children or adults, or anyone with a disability sometimes does not get the love and respect they need. Some people stand there and stare at them like "What's wrong with you?" or "You don't belong here."

People need to learn how to give disabled people the love and care/treatment they deserve. They don't deserve to be treated like garbage. Isn't having a disability enough? I hate it when people who are disabled get bullied it makes me sad. I've personally never seen it, but I know it happens. I makes me depressed how people feel about those kinds of people. They don't deserve to be bullied. They already have a disability, so why should they be bullied too! All they need is love, and care.

Tons of those kids get bullied because they are different, but what people don't remember is that those kids have feelings too, and words can hurt them just as much as they can hurt a regular person.

I really liked how you wrote this. I think disabled or mentally challenged people feel this way a lot of the time. Especially if they go to a public school. More kids have a bigger risk of getting bullied in public schools I think, because so many kids are different.

I feel back about those kids who are disabled, because they get bullied for something that's not even there fault. I also feel like kids with disabilities don't have as much rights as other kids because they're different. Sometimes people don't want those people to work at certain places. That's why I like certain grocery stores, because people with disabilities can work there, and I think that makes them happy to be around people and to have a job.

Here's what I liked about your poem!!!

1) I really like how you started and ended the poem with the same stanza.

2) I think it's very unique and special how you wrote this from the point of view of a disabled person.

3) I loved, loved, loved how you should so much sympathy for the disabled. They totally deserve that love and care. Some people don't give people who are disabled love and care because they are different. Why does that matter?

Anyway I really liked your poem!

Keep up the great writing,
Love,
Dogs

Hello!

This is probably going to be a long review, because there are a lot of things that I feel the need to say about it. First of all, the title is very unique and interesting, and instantly draws me in. I've read this poem, and also your one titled: "I can only reminisce" and I really like how you look at things that happen around you and write poetry about them. We see people with disabilities everyday, and I think it's great that you're able to put these feelings into words. The way you capture their thoughts is inspiring and you should be very proud of this poem.

This poem, I would say, has helped me. I sometimes feel awkward when near a disabled person because I don't want to seem overly curious, but I also want to appreciate that they are humans too, so I find it hard to just be my normal self.

A few things I like about the way it's written:

1. I love the repetition of the first verse at the end - the overall effect of that is very nice and it was a clever idea to do that

2. You have a very nice rhyme scheme and you can probably tell from some of my poetry that I love consistent rhyming poems, and this is brilliant

3. It flows pretty well, and it's not awkward like some poems that have weird breaks and stuff. This is hard to explain - but I just really love the way it reads.

One critique:

This was the only thing that you may want to look over (but it's only a suggestion): the last line of the first stanza doesn't read quite right. When you read the whole verse, this line sounds just a tad short, so maybe try adding an extra syllable.

However, on the whole, I really enjoyed this poem, and definitely keep writing. I think that a lot more people should read your poetry as it is touching and your content is beautiful. Well done!

Hey Kayley TS here reviewing.

I like the poem, you know that. The first part of this review is gonna be working on the way it's structured, sentence length and flow and all the other pedantic stuff. So just try not to get bored!

Full stops would work really well in this poem - not trying to be smart, seriously.

"Nobody's got to love me,
and nobody's got to care.
All I'm asking is respect,
so please don't stop and stare."

See how it reads better? And it looks better. It looks more structured.

"As far as looks go, I'm aware,
but on the inside I'm the same as you.
There's no need to compare."

I'm aware that I took out 'I am' and replaced it with 'I'm', this is because the line had one too many syllables; it works better this way

Same with the second stanza, a full stop after the second and fourth lines. In the third stanza you could have:

"Sometimes I wonder what's going on
inside all your heads.
Don't you think I notice the whispers?
And all the things you said?"

Questioning can sometimes be a great way of making a better connection with your readers, I use it quite a bit in my poetry when I want to express a kind of truthful emotion.
I think that the fourth stanza could be simply two lines, and I think that it works a lot better this way. Just pet the second line and the first one together and the third and fourth together, with a full stop after the second line. It'll look better that way, and read better, trust me!

Do the same thing with the last stanza that I told you to do with the first. I know I said earlier that I didn't like the way you repeated because I didn't think it was long enough but I mustn't have been paying attention because reading it myself I think it works really well. Well done!

I think you did a great job, and it's about time somebody wrote a good poem about this. i really think that what you've done is great, and if you follow my guidelines they will simply make that fact easier to see. You have the perfect content, you just displayed it a bit goofy-like Nice work K! It's a good one.

Yours in ink and blood,
TS.

Hello Kayley!!

This is Eros here to write a review!!

I see that you are new over here.. So firstly, a warm WELCOME to you!
Now let us start with the review. First thing first. The title. The title of this poem was very attractive and catchy. It captivated me. So I stopped for a moment and decided to peep inside.
And the poem was just as beautiful as I thought.

The theme was unique and emotionsal. It has got beautiful feelings in it. How a disabled person is shunned by the society and what his internal feelings are, has been described in this poem. He wants to be loved by the people. He wants respect and he wants to be treated like a normal person. He feels sad and lonely. The society has made an inferity complex about him. They run away from him but he wants them to make friends with him.

He says,

There's no need to compare

Hello, Kayley101!

I haven't written a review in awhile so I hope this isn't too rusty.

I know, I know. You aren't supposed to put your personal opinion in a review because it doesn't help the author, but I do want to say that I relate to this a lot. Disability is something I see everyday. Every time somebody makes a comment or remark, or even stops and stares, I really wonder what they're thinking, whether it's a six year old with no common sense or a snobby adult.

Now as for the actual work, the message is clear and straightforward: just because you're disabled doesn't mean you aren't human. I adore this message. Personally, I like the way you ended the poem by repeating the first stanza, but it's not too necessary. I know there are not many rules toward punctuation in poetry, but I think it'd be fitting if this poem had no punctuation, or capitalization at all. I feel like poems without punctuation capture more emotion, but that's only a suggestion.

The rhyme scheme in the poem is perfect, and I find no grammatical issues at all.

I enjoyed the poem very much! Keep on writing!

~Moonwatcher