Cold

'Ello, it's Cello! Happy review day!

Let's just jump in~

Cold, so cold,
Like a Winter's day,
Snowflakes in my heart,
Forever there to stay.

I feel like your first line here could be stronger. This is the line that should catch a reader's attention and make them interested and (at least in my case) you failed to do that here. I think it was the repetition that really ruined things for me. Although repetition can be a wonderful tool to use in poetry, it really didn't work here. Since you're saying that same thing twice in this first line, might I suggest you try out some synonyms? (ex:Freezing, cold) Maybe that's not your thing. Some description then? (ex:Bitterly cold) There are lots of easy ways to keep your rhythm intact but I would not suggest using repetition to do so here.
A minor note- 'winter's' should not be capitalized.
I would like to take a quick look at your last line here before we move on. I understand that this is a rhyming poem but you have to make sure that you're not forcing words into your poem simply to fit the scheme. It should come naturally. This last line, although rhyming properly, feels uncomfortable and forced in my opinion. It's distracting to the reader and it takes away from the otherwise comfortable flow of the poem. I'm not really in a poetic mood so I don't have any good suggestions on replacements for this line (maybe 'they will not go away?' but I trust that you will be able to find a way to make adjustments.

You toyed with my emotions,
Made me play the game,
I thought you would be different,
But you'll always be the same,

It's the third line here that brings up a problem for me. "Thought you would be different" sounds like that cliche comparison. (I thought you were different from the rest, but you're all always the same!) The next line then makes it sound like you thought the person would be different from the past self. (I thought you had changed- but you'll always be the same!) Although they both get across a similar meaning, they're still not the same. I'm not sure which cliche you're aiming for more, but I suggest you choose one and arrange the lines to match the meanings. For the 'You're like all the rest' cliche, I would suggest something like 'but all people are the same' for your last line. If you're going for the 'I thought you could change' cliche, I would suggest 'I thought that you could change yourself' for your third line.

Somehow you made me trust you,
You made me feel so safe.
You filled my soul with pounds of joy,
Then you came and took it away.

Have you ever heard of slant rhyming? Well if not, let me tell you that that's what you're doing here. A slant rhyme is a rhyme composed of two words that do not rhyme but sound similar enough that you can consider it to rhyme. Usually, this would be fine. Here, it's not. You have a consistent pattern of real rhymes and then you drop the pattern just for this stanza. Keep consistent.
Wait I think I have to take that slant rhyme call back. This isn't even that. Rereading it, 'safe' and 'away' don't rhyme in the slightest. Kudos to you for keeping such a strong rhythm that I was convinced that the non-rhyming words rhymed. Still, this needs fixing.

One day you will come look for me,
You'll say "I love you, dear."
But instead of tears of joy this time,
You'll get tears of cold and fear.

Now, I get what you're saying here, but you need to be more clear with your wording. The person will get tears? From where? From you! But wait, you didn't say that. This is honestly a very simply fix and more of my pickiness than a real problem. "I'll shed tears of cold and fear." See? All better!
Nah, I lied. I still have a problem with this line. 'tears of cold' just doesn't sound right to me. Cold tears? Sure. But tears of cold? Meh. I get that you're trying to use cold as an emotion here but I think you're forgetting that cold is used as an adjective to modify emotions. "Cold anger" or "cold sorrow", never just "cold". Just throw in another emotion in it's place and all will be good. "Tears of anger and fear" or "Tears of sadness and fear" or neither of those. Who am I to tell you how to live your life?

So stay away,
It's for the best.
I feel the snow flakes,
In my chest.

I don't like this stanza at all. It's far shorter than the rest and you feel that when you read it. It's distracting. Your poem is a consistent one so anything that's different takes the reader's attention away from the message you're trying to get across. Either lengthen this stanza or get rid of it completely.
(side note- snowflakes is one word)

My hope to keep you has drifted,
And I hope you'll see one day,
The love you'd lost that you'd hoped to get back,
Has now drifted away.

More 'picky ol' chocolatecello' time!
You use drifted twice in this stanza. It's not extremely noticeable but it feels like lazy writing. Maybe change one to faded or some other similar word. It's your call.

Keep up the good writing!
-ChocolateCello

Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day.

Theme: I really liked the theme of winter you had going through out this poem. It gave the poem an extra layer of emotion. The words all felt cold and heartbroken which is what you where going for in your poem.

Rhythm: The rhythm in your poem was great. Some of the lines where a little long and disrupted the flow like this one

The love you'd lost that you'd hoped to get back,

but overall the the rhythm was great.

Description: Your description was really what drove your poem emotionally and visually. THe words you chose where really strong and conveyed the emotions you where trying to bring across.

Title: Your title was simple and explained what the poem was about, but it wasn't very inviting. Maybe add a few words to make it more interesting.

Grammar and Punctuation:

One day you will come look for me,

I think this would read better if "look" was "looking.


Overall it was a great poem and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.

Your friend, Felistia.

This is Yams here on Review Day!

There isn't really a lot of variation in the punctuation in this poem which makes it kind of boring. You use a lot of commas where they could be replaced with periods. It seems to go comma, comma, period, in your pattern.

Somehow you made me trust you,
You made me feel so safe.
You filled my soul with pounds of joy,
Then you came and took it away.

You stopped your rhyming pattern in this stanza where you were rhyming in lines 2 and 4 though "safe" and "away" don't rhyme unlike the others. The other rhymes fit and clicked well with each other.

You toyed with my emotions,
Made me play the game,
I thought you would be different,
But you'll always be the same,

This is what I'm talking about when I say punctuation. For a suggestion to spice it up a bit, keep the comma after emotions, but put a period after game. In the new sentence you could use a semicolon after you take away "but" in the fourth line.

The fifth stanza is probably my favorite as it adds something new a bit with the "snowflakes in my chest"

This doesn't really add anything new to love poems for me, to be honest. I've heard it all before and it's just a mashup of "oh why did you leave me woe-is-me". These types of poems usually feel so distant because the poet or author never says anything that was actually important in the relationship and rather just generalizes. You don't share personal memories in the poem, or go into further detail about them. It's a poem written by anonymous, written to anonymous.

Have a great day!