I tried to put into words how I feel about the music I play.
With the wind and flower petals
I'm standing in the meadow.
I'm gazing forward
But I can't see the light.
I'm stretching out my hand
But it just doesn't feel right.
I hear the strings playing
Somewhere behind the clouds,
Camomile scent reaching my nose...
I try to escape the dream of those..
But I stay forever in that place.
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141,298 Literary Works • 674,337 Reviews
Hey again!
Here to review.
Overall
I liked this poem just as much as the last one I reviewed! What I loved the most about this one was actually the simplicity of it. There weren't any complicated words or complicated vocabulary, which I actually liked. I really like the reason behind the poem as well, it's clear how much you love your music!
My only nit-pick for this is the grammar. I noticed a '..' in this somewhere.
I do have to agree with ziggie and Snoink though. I would like for you to describe the music itself a bit more. I would also like for you to describe your feelings more as well as the music. How does the sound of music make you feel? Does it make you feel inspired? Does it make you feel as though your heart and your soul are connected as one? (Sorry for the terrible, cheesy sentence there
I don't really have anything else to critique about this! I fell useless... I adored the simplicity of this and I thought that your rhyming scheme was nice. It was different and there wasn't an obvious rhyming scheme, either. I actually really liked this about the poem. It helps make the poem unique and interesting. Your descriptions were simple but creative and that was something else I loved about this poem.
I still feel useless...
Keep writing! If you want another review, just ask me in my Will Review For Food thread again.
xoxo Skins
Hey Kanade!
The one thing I think you can do is to describe the music in a more sensuous way. Right now, you're just telling us that you hear it. I want to hear more details. 
Lovely poem. I love the sensory images that you had... the chamomile, the flower petals... it brings a softness to the poem which is very lovely and sensual.
Nice poem though!
I enjoyed it. it reminds me of the precious moments when I play my guitar but this time under a tree with the wind blowing on my face. I think I will play it right now.
The down side of the poem is that yes, you are trying to describe a feeling here right? But the feeling is too short. because i am getting there and then the poem ends. Maybe add some more words because the writing style is superb and unique. It deserves recognition.
Good job.
Watch your spelling. I also think this line would be more effective as "The smell of chamomile reaching my nose..." though that's just personal preference.
I like how simple this is, and the rhyme scheme you used. It's a bit unusual, but it sounds and feels natural. I think this poem could benefit from a bit more punctuation. In general, poetry is punctuated the same as prose, and a good way to make sure you poetry is punctuated properly is to write it out in prose form.
Overall, though, I really enjoyed reading this. :D
I like the way you used the words... How you expressed everything.
Good work.
Just one thing though, I could put myself in your shoes, but I really could not feel along with you exactly what you felt writing this.
Looking forward to viewing your next post.