Gluttony

Oh man, freaky. I'm loving it.

I really liked this, it's very dark, but not gratuitous, and it actually does have some meaning behind it. I'm not loving the way you've formatted this, with the xXX, but I think that is a fairly subjective thing, and you know...you do you.

In terms of continuity your first few stanzas are a bit all over the place. The first mention of the lanterns is two stanzas before the next mention, and you first mention them as swinging lanterns, and then as bobbing lanterns being held up by guards. I think you might need to use consistent language to make it easier to read.

'Haven is a safe place,
but our Haven is a cell.
There is no escape.'

I feel like I'm just not understanding this part, and that is more than likely because I'm a bit dim, but it doesn't sound like haven is a safe place. I know that a haven is a safe place, but this place you are talking about doesn't sound like something I would call a haven.

'They
not only keep things out,
but also keep us in.
xXx
For what better to keep the sins out
than sin itself?'

This might flow better as one paragraph. It's cool, very sinister.

'A thousand eyes
blinked
ever
so
slowly,
one
by
one.'

Genius. Absolute genius.

'So you gave yourself to him,
xXx
knowing a sin was just as good
as any angel.'

Again, I'm feeling this would read better as one paragraph, it would give your final sentence even more strength, and it would feel really final.

I just feel like this is so powerful, it has some flow issues, but your personification of gluttony is so vivid, and so dark. 'knowing a sin was just as good as any angel. As long as someone wanted you'. That's beautiful. Really great, really honest.

I think you're a beautiful writer. I actually want to read more.

Hey there! Deifyance here for a review!

Lets start right off with letting you know I like the poem!
I like your style, it's different from others. Don't change that.
I like your word choices, but more on that later.
I like how you set things up and tell us a story through emotion. Also more on that later.

Now, let me say first of all that you should never apologize for your writing. It's your fault for not writing in months, don't try to excuse bad writing with that. (Not that your writing is bad.)

I think you should be consistent with your word choices. Don't delve into Olde English if you're not going to do the whole thing like that. It pulls us out and draws attention to itself. (And away from the story.)

Now, your story is good. The emotional side is great. But, lets see some more of an arc here. Show the main character fight the thing she is talking about, then give in. A story needs conflict. (Even in poems.)

Other than those small things I loved it!