Escape

Commas! <3 YAY COMMAS. >.>

So with this poem, I feel like it's a really long run on sentence because you do have a beginning punctuation, and punctuation every once in a while, but then it just sort of stops. Keep it up! Consistency really makes poems easier to read.

Where I'm looking at in particular is "Every shore.../...I passed"

Also we have an opportunity to use some new punctuation~ I would suggest a - hyphen instead of a comma in the line "And my eyes, my eyes" because a hyphen is going to give you a more definite jerking stop. It's what I like to use when I have people speaking, and they get choked up, mainly because that's what I see people use when characters stutter and/or insert information into the middle of sentences. It's not that common now. Now the ellipsis is becoming more and more common for pauses in speech, etc, but I like to stick to traditional-ellipsis as omission of information-use.

Next up to bat, this poem has a lot of repetition of words like bleed, which creates a rhyme, but because it is so stagnant and inconsistent, it can easily annoy poetry readers. Crashed/Flashed rhymes literally on top of one another, and that's going to make them pause for a minute to go back and check to see what else rhymed, even if it's just a glance. That point is a climax in the poem, so it's alright, in a way, to draw attention to it, but you have to be careful about it in the future.

Lastly, this doesn't really need stanzas. I know you were talking about it with someone down below, but I think it reads fine without them because it's a short poem and it is all about the same topic.

Something you might want to do with this poem that could be fun would be to
take it,
add the extra punctuation,
remove all the line breaks,
leave it just as a paragraph for maybe a day so you don't remember where they were,
and put new line breaks in. If they show up in the same place, great! If they don't, well it goes to show you how different a poem can be with a fresh set of eyes and some new line breaks. It's a great way to really see if the flavor of the poem is exactly what you want, and eliminate unnecessary words.

Beautiful and simple, but a little more punctuation might be needed. Like, instead of

" Bleed for every little mark

You've given me

They bleed"

add some commas after each brief sentence thingy

Hi! Deleted12 here for a quick review!
This was an interesting poem! I liked the repetition where you wrote, ''And my eyes, my eyes''
Repetition is usually good, if not overused, and you didn't overuse it! So good job!

I liked the title too, although it was one word, it was simple, and nice, to match the poem...
It wouldn't make since to have a fancy title w/ a small poem, right??

So, nice job and I really enjoyed this poem! And I hope to see more soon! Happy writing! -De12.

This is a shorter piece, but shows no less emotion due to that. With all poetry everyone will interpret and feel it in their own way from their personal experience. It feels very heartfelt and the only constructive criticism I have for you is the use of stanzas to organize the lines. It being a shorter piece it didn't really occur to me while reading and I still felt the emotion just the same. Keep writing!

Hi!
When i first read this i thought that you were either escaping or running away from something.
Its like you dont want to see it or your hurt to see it.
Every single thing that you see around or it is making you run away so you wont be able to see it and for me, just for me, its like its running away from the kindness. its kindness thats being given is i think somewhat painful.