There.
It's right there. An inch away.
Life. Color. Community.
Why can't I reach it?
Trapped in a pitch black void,
floating meaninglessly.
Not existing.
Not seen by anyone.
Invisible.
Tortured by the laughs I could never share,
the friends I could never have.
All I earn are pitiful glances, weighing me down.
The cold light illuminating a place I could never reach,
the darkness consuming every ray of light that tried to meet me.
I don't need your sad looks,
your eyes filled with pity.
I know I'm lonely,
but you do not fix that with your falsely sympathetic remarks.
Is it so hard to reach out a hand,
to pull me from my isolation?
Yet, you leave me here,
to sit and watch you live your wonderful lives.
Outside, looking in.
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138,053 Literary Works • 672,071 Reviews
A very small review...
I related to every line in this poem! There was a time when i felt alone and I could tell that people pitied me.
This poem is completely self-explanatory and your word choice, as usual, is amazing! I find poems with free verse quite difficult to write because my flow while transitioning to the thoughts that I want to express feels somewhat forced. But yours is flawless.
It's impressive how you wrote no one notices you and then proceeded about the pain you feel by laughs you think you would never get to experience. Your flow is really smooth.
I could tell that you put a lot of thought in this poem. I didn't find anything for open interpretation so the review became short.
Still, I felt your poem.
Hope you have a great day!
Hello! this poem was really good. I don't have anything really to critique so i'm just going to say a few things I liked about your poem
First what I interpreted this poem as is when your're going through something with mental health and when people find out they look at you with pity which ends up making you feel worse. I also see it as when people do talk to you and show sympathy it just feels fake and as if they don't mean it.
Second I think this poem flows really well and like the format of it. I also like how towards the end after mentioning the pitiful glances and false sympathy. You ask the question "Is it so hard to reach out a hand,
to pull me from my isolation?" which is asking why is showing me fake sympathy and pity so much easier than actually helping me?
I enjoyed reading this poem and thought it was really relatable. Well done! Keep writing.
I don't typically read or write free verse, but this flows really well and i enjoyed reading it. It really captures that sort of loneliness that someone can feel when they are in places that are full of community, but aren't apart of that community for whatever reason. I'm not super big on grammar but it has nothing that is noticeably pulling me out of the story, you end on the title, which is a nice touch and the beginning is obviously filled with frustration, i love this.