Treading through the rough waters of
anxiety.
One with dreams, but,
only a small drop in the vast sea.
One with high hopes,
yet, only a teen.
One with longings to mature,
thinking while this small, they'll remain unseen.
One who yearns to age,
their intent to grow, ever so keen.
One who has desires, hopes, fears,
one who wishes to exist in their older years.
...
Wrestling with the inexorable
promise of death.
One with a long time of existence,
yet, wasted, was every breath.
One whose beauty was snatched away,
a broken heart is all that was kept.
One who craves for youth,
but has none left.
One who wants to relive their adolescence,
but that hope is far, far, fetched.
One who has cried too many tears,
one who wishes to exist in their younger years.
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140,079 Literary Works • 673,000 Reviews
This is really good I love how the first part is a younger person wanting to be older, and the second part is an older person wanting to be younger. this conveys that what almost all little kids want is to group up and be an adult. this also conveys that what most older people want is to relive their youth, their glory days, to be younger. the beginning of the second part also shows how the older version of them wishes that they didn't spend their youth wanting to be older and how it is a big regret of theirs. I really love all the aspects of this poem and think that it is pretty well written.
Hi!
What I really like about your work is that we have two poems in free verse. Both have a similar theme and leave a similar emotion in the reader, although they also contrast each other brilliantly. On the one hand, we have a teenager who wants to be someone, who is still looking for themself. On the other hand, we have an old person who is just looking back at his life and what they experienced in it. Or rather, what he didn't experience. I like the detail that each of the "storytellers" throws the responsibility for the life they will experience/survive on the other. A teenager hopes that one day he will find a way to exist. And the older one just cries that he didn't look for it when they were younger. I think your poem has several ways of looking at it. I can probably take from it as a kind of "main idea" the fact that we are all looking for each other all our lives, that we only live now and we should enjoy every moment, so that we don't have to shed tears over the wasted time. But as I said, you wrote a poem with more then one meaning. You have unique voice, so keep going!
This piece seems to juxtapose the experiences of someone who is young versus someone who is older. Both experiences present challenges and leave readers with a sense that the subjects are longing for the temporal experience of the other. Perhaps the message is to enjoy time as we have it, as nothing we do can speed it up or make it go back. I really enjoyed how you tied these two separate experiences together with mirrored rhythm and repetition.
Reading over this a second time has me wondering if these are two separate individuals brought together by their contrasting desires, or if this is one individual at different times in their life. Either way definitely thought provoking and a very interesting read.
Great job and thanks for sharing!