It's not like my words have meaning.
It's not like my reasoning has reason.
Oh, her? Yeah, her?
She can remain unheard.
She never hurts,
she has no feelings,
and thus her words...
they have no meaning.
Why would I have anything to say?
It's not as if I'm a person anyway.
Who am I, but an object of prey?
A voiceless thing upon which to exsert your rage.
I'm staring at the ground where my words have fallen
flat without a sound.
Yes, I find it appalling.
Don't you know, I have so much to tell?
Your ears seem to be broken,
but at least your mouth is working well.
Remind me, why should I be here
if your only intention is to yell?
I have so much to share with you,
but...
it's not as if my words matter, isn't that true?
When I open my mouth, it's only hollow sounds.
My words are empty, an empty room.
An empty room with no halls,
and your shouts echo off their walls.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
140,088 Literary Works • 672,997 Reviews
From this poem, I get this real sense of insignificance, that the narrator feels voiceless and isolated emotionally. The narrator is often unheard, and ignored, and it was something I could really relate to, having something to say but just being unable to say it.
Wow, this opening stanza has this just real rhythm to it, I almost felt like I could have rapped or sang this (it would sound awful, but the words are just so lyrical and the rhyming really works!) The 'Oh, her? Yeah, her?' line really stands out, and has a brilliant flow to it.
There is almost an element of playfulness to the poem, even though it's about something sad and upsetting, you convey this with an almost sassy attitude in the way the meter and rhyme work out for me. Maybe that's just my interpretation though!
Keep writing <3 i loved this!
tysm I appreciate your thoughts so much!!! thank uuuu!
Much like some other works I've seen, and indeed ones I wrote when I was younger, this does run the risk of navel gazing to an indulgent degree. However, there is something quite exciting going on here. The constant questions, the rhyming structure, the free verse format adding unpredictability, accusation after accusation after accusation. It really does go to show how moving away from the confines of bog standard angst and into deeper territory, to address being silenced as an individual and having that autonomy to speak removed, can do wonders to a work like this. I do think this poem's peak is in the opening two lines, though. The idea that one's reasoning has no reason is such a simple observation, yet I've rarely seen anyone make it. Keep writing, you could be onto something here.
Thank you for the thoughtful review!