A narrative, based on Revelation 1:13-17, from the Bible.
The Light almost blinded me.
It seemed to illuminate every corner of the earth, emanating vibrantly off the Son of Man's face. A snow white robe draped down His body, covering His feet. The garment seemed to ripple, like a current of purity dancing in a stream. Embellished with a glimmering golden sash, the clothing almost shone as bright as the Lord's face.
Matching His attire, His hair was a blemish-free white, resting calmly on His shoulders, and His eyes, oh, those eyes. They were strikingly blazing, like balls of fire. Yet, they were not filled with spite nor terrible burning. Nay, they were two pools of pure kindness, mercy, and a welcoming warmth no winter wind could snuff out.
My eyes burned, tears threatening to spill out of them. With an awe-filled exhale, I collapsed to the ground. My knees slammed the floor with a thump. I buried my face into my hands. The sight of my Savior was too wonderful for me, too great for me to understand. I felt a gentle touch, a graceful hand placed upon my head. A chill ran through my body, but it wasn't a strange, unsettling chill. It was a joy induced chill, one to be thoroughly enjoyed.
Then He spoke, and the whole earth seemed to tremble in wonder. One line, just one simple sentence, managed to tear down every insecurity. Every snippet of fear, striped away.
"Do not be afraid."
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140,083 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
Hello!
This is a great little poem.The descriptions are beautifully written. (They are very vivid, and it's easy to relate to the speaker.)
The only mistake (or at least I think it might be a mistake) is that you wrote: "The sight of my Savior was to wonderful for me (…)". Shouldn't it be: "The sight of my Savior was too wonderful for me (...)"? [too instead of to]
Anyway, keep up the good work!!
Oh, yes! Thank you for catching that!
MEOW! Hello, friend! My name is Ellie and today I will be reviewing using my very own Black Cat Review Method! It is very similar to the incredible YWS S'more Method but I have Halloween-ified it and made it spooky! My little black cat friend, Vladimir, wants to offer his opinion on your amazing literary piece:
Mystical Witch Hat - What I See, Observe, and Interpret
Inferno, this really caught my attention! A narrative based off of the Bible is a wonderful idea and I am so glad you posted this for me to read! Especially based off of revelation, I really appreciate this.
I love the strong start:
That first sentence really catches a readers attention. I love the words you use to describe light- illuminate and emanating from His face.
Overall, your description is brilliant! I love how you use one descriptive word, but font stop there. You keep going and going. This helps me visualize so well, wow what an awesome read.
Vladimir’s Advice - Suggestions for Improvement
Your imagery is brilliant, every piece of this is wonderful. If I can offer any of my opinion, it would be to include even more details about how this speaker feels. They talk about being blinded by light, chills through the body, joy, etc. I would love even more of that, more thoughts and feelings
Jack O’Lanterns - My Favourite Parts and Praises
This last sentence was just mindblowing, so gorgeous to read!!
Black Cat Cuddles - Concluding Ideas and Thoughts
This was so lovely! Thank you for sharing <3333
Your friend,
Ellie Mae
I hope you have a spook-tastical day, filled with black cat mischief!
I love this!!!!