The stillness is too loud,
The idleness rings in my ears.
Though, what is heard? Not a sound.
But just that fact reduces me to tears.
The longing, the yearn,
For the crazy, the rush, the spark
To once again return.
That hunger is tearing me apart.
Where has the rapid-fire race of life gone?
Where are those towering waves that tossed me around
That I never thought I'd want?
Now that life is nowhere to be found.
No, there's only the flat waters,
The strongest current, only a ripple.
The silence is echoing off of walls that aren't there.
In the vast void of sound I feel so little.
If, oh, my ears could hear something, anything
Not the huff of my breath exiting my mouth,
If a bird could sing
If my voice could cry out.
If the vast nothingness didn't steal the words from my tongue.
If it didn't hurt to even use my lungs.
If I could whine,
If I could shout
For this silence is too loud.
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140,084 Literary Works • 672,994 Reviews
Hey friend! I decided to stop by and take a look at even more of your poetry that you have posted, the last one I read was so amazing so I wanted to read more! Let’s jump right into this review, again:
This poem is about a loud silence. That’s such an interesting topic, isn’t it? Loud and silence or opposite words, but you wrote a whole poem about it, which I think is super cool. Loud silence is an interesting topic to think about because it brings a lot of thoughts to my brain, such as wanting to be able to say something, but not being able to, that you feel to be heard, but no one listens . The loud silence seems to be like an emotional state that you feel, where you feel trapped or unable to speak up for yourself. In terms of your poem, I found it should be very poetic. You use some very beautiful words, such as vast, whine or shout .
I see so much of a desire to be hurt, to be able to scream and have others see you. But you can’t. And that feeling, that feeling of silence, well, that’s just deafening. overall, this poem was simple and easy to read, it wasn’t over complicated or confusing. I enjoyed it because it felt like a train of thought that I was able to glide through, almost like a leaf in the wind. Thank you for writing this, I really enjoyed reading it can’t wait to read even more of your poetry. Have a lovely day!
Your friend,
Ellie
Hi Ellie! I know I'm a year late, but I'm trying to catch up on replying to all your wonderful reviews on my poems! Thank you for the insightful review <333
I was going through some of the works on this website and a I really do love this! Your use of imagery is so effective I genuinely feel like I am in the moment that you are describing, I am also really obsessed with nature in poetry so the maritime references are rlly cool!
I LOVE THIS WORK! OMG!!
This peice of writing is just increduble! I dont know if this is the way you inteded it interpreted but I will share with you the way I read and understood it. I see it as someone who has just died/lost everything. They are now just realizing that the little things in life really do mean the most at the end of the day. Just being able to see, or hear, or even breath in cool air were so important to them until they lost the ability. I think this can also represent the losing of love or a relationship. You are so focused on the things that go wrong, the things you
" never thought I'd want"
become the things you cannot imagine life without now.
Keep it up! Love this! WOW!
I hope you don't mind leaving a review!
I really love this work.
"If my voice could cry out.
If the vast nothingness didn't steal the words from my tongue.
If it didn't hurt to even use my lungs."
This is beautiful writing. This absolutely elicits feelings and memories of hopelessness. I think the overall comparison of despair to a neverending silence feels so authentic and genuine and is easily understood.
Overall amazing!
Hello! I'm Ava
The title of this poem immediately caught my attention and something told me that I had to read this.
Reading this piece felt like the loud silence after a thunderous storm. That kind of storm which made you lose something you'd given your life to.
The loud silence is unsettling and that makes you want to return back to how everything was usually. But it felt like you're lost and you can't find a way back. You're trapped in the loud silence. It's loud but it's silent too.
If only you could hear something that would lead you back to finding your lost life. You expressed you're desperation and frustration to end the games that you're emotions are playing with you very precisely.
Your flow is smooth and the word choice is powerful and it renders the emotions you seek to express strongly.
Thank you for this beautiful piece. I hope you find the voice you're yearning for.
Have a great day!
Hello, Inferno, and belated welcome to the Young Writer's Society! I saw your request for a review on this poem, and thought I'd drop by.
I love this poem's rhythm. Everything here flows so nicely together, from one word to the next. I'm also always partial to rhyming poems, and I think that yours served the poems "musical" feel really nicely!
Your word choice, too, is incredibly impactful. Lines like
and
stood out to me in particular, in large part due to their interesting diction.
I did notice some small inconsistencies with the rhyme scheme (which may have been intentional, but I thought I'd point it out just in case,) for example, at the start of the poem, you have what appears to be an ABCB quatrain,
but in the very next line, you switch instead a tercet,
and following that, you have a couplet, before jumping again into another tercet. It's common for free form poetry not to have a rhyme scheme, but I think opening with one of the most commonly used quatrains sets up an expectation for the reader that it's going to be semi consistent throughout the piece- so when it's not, it may throw them off a tad.
Overall, I really enjoyed reading this piece! It's extremely pretty, with powerful descriptions and an excellent flow! I look forward to seeing more stuff from you in the future! Once again, welcome to the site! I hope you enjoy your stay here
Hi!
Thank you so much for the review! I was trying to keep the rhyme scheme mildly consistent... I kind of thought
and
would match the pattern, but I see your point.