The sounds of harmonies escape,
On a moonlight filled landscape.
.
Dancing over the trees and through the hills,
Across the wheat fields and through flour mills.
Flowing and pulsing as smooth as the wind,
Growing in volume just as they thinned.
.
The honey-filled melody sounds o so sweet,
Eaten by ears as if it were a treat.
The stars dance to the tune,
As the clouds start to swoon.
.
On a moonlight filled landscape,
Where sounds of harmonies escape.
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Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,007 Literary Works • 672,816 Reviews
Hey there Kat here to review for Team WHY?
I am totally freaking out . FLAWLESS !!! That first stanza and last stanza, the way you flipped it but kept it the same was breath-takingly brilliant. It takes a lot to appreciate such finite details in poetry. Your rhyme scheme and formatting were amazing and I felt like I was being immersed in the poem with the melodies of night . It made me wish for more and that it was longer. Plus, the personification of the harmony and the clouds and everything was just absolutely magnificent . Can I have your talents? Please?
Purely beautiful, I adore the eloquent use of a good literary device
~Kat
Thanks for the review! I know it would be nice to be a longer poem, but I feel it reflects how the harmonies can come and go in an instant. The harmonies can be whatever you want, love, inspiration, creativity, or even happiness.
And no you can't have my talents unless you are on Team Sassy Ladybugs
Oh true , good luck .
Hey! Tigerlilly here for a review!
I really like the idea of this poem... Its has great imagery and I love how you repeated the first two lines, just in reverse. Your rhyme is slightly off in a few places however, which kind of disrupts the flow. Your punctuation is on point, as is your grammar. You did an excellent job with this poem, and I'd give it a 4/5. Great job, I look forward to reading more of your works.
Hey there, friend! Jen here, reviewing your poem~
First off, I liked your idea and your description of the harmonies. Some of the imagery in your poem is amazing! I especially loved the line, "Eaten by ears as if it were a treat". It's a very cute comparison (my definition of cute is weird. Please bear with me, friend), and definitely gives an unique effect.
However, the rhythm of your poem is off in a lot of places. Since the poem rhymes, I assume it's not meant to be a freestyle. Therefore, each line should have a specific rhythm that matches up perfectly with the rest of the poem. In your second to last verse, "The stars dance to the tune" directly follows the line "Eaten by ears as if it were a treat". That does not go well together, as the first two lines of that verse have 11 and 10 syllables, respectively, while the third line only has 6. This huge jump is very awkward, and something poets usually avoid in their works. You might want to either divide them into two different verses and elaborate on them, or lengthen the last two lines of that verse. Same in other places-- keep in mind to always keep the rhythm in check.
Also, in the beginning, some of the rhyming sounds a little... forced. Just a little. It's not too noticeable, but if someone was reading silently and carefully, they would be able to pick up some hints of awkwardness. It might just be because the rhythm is slightly off, I'm not too sure, but I'm a little uncomfortable with it in general.
Overall, your poem was creative and nicely expressed, so good job on that. Just keep in mind to focus more on synchronizing the meters of the poem, and you'll have a fine piece on your hands. If you need more help, you can try researching different types of poems and study each genre of poems' rhythms and stuff.
Anyways, good luck, and happy writing!
Thanks for the information. I'm not sure if I'll change this poem because it was written on a whim. But I will definitely keep this in mind for future poems.