Keep Holding On

This poem hits home for me because I know what this feels like. I can feel the hope and the hopelessness in these lines. I also like the rhyming, it flows really well. In a few stanzas and simplistic phrases you captured both sides of this emotion.
I like how you transitioned from the beginning to end.
From
"Something is wrong, what's going on?"
to
"It's gets better,
I promise you."
Very lovely the way you unfolded this poem!
I also really like the questions. I believe art is all about asking questions. And the questions you ask in this poem are again, simplistic, but powerful (I.e. "Is it really worth all this pain?").

Hello! Maddie here with a lovely poetry review! Joy and joyness XDD


I love the simplicity of this poem.
The way you went about this gives the piece a type of intimacy like we're looking into this person's thoughts, but it's still vague in the sense that it's not uncomfortable. The topic is a very dark area of the mind, where depression and thoughts of suicide lie. So, sometimes it's better to go this route, because it doesn't make you completely sad while reading it. In a sense, it's a lot more objective, and that works very well in this.

I also enjoy that this is a happier lol
So many poets like to go dark with this topic, so the fact that you added the positive ending is definitely, well, a positive. LOL

If there was anything to change, I wouldn't do it, because then it wouldn't be simple anymore. Yes, it would be interesting to know more of the narrative to this person, to know what their reasons are that lead them to want to hurt themselves. But honestly, that's just a preference.

Keep doing what you're doing

Thanks for sharing!
~Maddie

~Heylo...caliginous here~

Wow, this is a very deep and emotional piece...it's short, but the content really speaks to me. Ok, time to get down into the specifics (though there's not much to adjust).

"Something is wrong,"
Perhaps you should replace the comma with a period. A punctual statement to lead the way into this poem would be beneficial and would allow for a strong, meaningful beginning.

"I shouldn't be feeling this way."
An elipse at the end would create the feeling of contemplating, remembering, diving deep into thought.

"You tell me nothing's worth my life and to fight to the end."
This line stands out among the others because it is about double the length of the rest. Break it into two separate lines, the first one ending with "life" and the next beginning with "and". This would bring meaning to each line by itself, especially to the second line of the two.

That last stanza is very powerful. Perfect ending to such an emotional poem. I absolutely love it!

~caliginous

I don't know how I commented on my own piece and don't know how to delete it. UGH!