Young Writers Society

Hi! Cricket here for a review!! (this review will be shorter than normal, due to this being poetry and also singularly awesome!)

WOW, I totally love the concept that you've built up! So you're talking about limitations and what to do about them, then? That's the impression I got from it, really. If you have a limitation, then there is always something that can help you get through and conquer it.

This is mainly meant to help you get out of depression, right? Like you have a limitation, and you are depressed over not being able to do anything, but you start to understand that you can defeat it. Correct? Tell me if I get this concept wrong...

If I do not have instinct, can I find my way?

If I do not have wings, can I still fly?
If I do not have fins, can I still swim?
If I do not have legs, can I still travel?
If I do not have eyes, can I still see?
If I do not have instinct, can I find my way?

I brush the dust of my boots

I can swim in the sea with my legs and my arms.

I can fly high in the white clouds on a plane.
I can swim in the sea with my legs and my arms.
I can travel by wheelchair or by prosthetic legs.
I can see with my mind instead of with my eyes.
I can use various maps to navigate where I go.

Whoops, that was supposed to be a review. Take two!
RoyalHighness has arrived to review!
Okay, so this was okay.
I like the overarching concept. The idea of human resilience is a popular one, and one on which you've written really well! The problem comes with your diction and syntax.
I would have worded the stanzas differently. Perhaps it's because I don't like poems that don't rhyme, but I think there are better, more elegant ways to express what you're trying to say here.
I like the imagery you used, with the plane and the sea, and how you used analogies that are easy to understand. I love the usage of the repetition to drive home your points; it was really powerful, and left me thinking.
But I still think you could have worded the stanzas a little better, in a way that would be a little less choppy.
Overall, I give this four stars of five, because I love the concept and the imagery! Great job!

Well, I've finally decided to review one of your works. You're slightly lucky because I don't like reviewing poems on a regular bases unless I understand them. So today I have decided to come out of the darkness and review this poem.

This is really powerful, the way you describe certain things and create relatable analogies that others understand. The descriptive nature in you wrote made me feel as if I was the person saying I am.

In the end the message behind this poem is something everyone needs to learn. We can do things even if we have dibilitations that can limit us. These problems should not inhibit us, but make us stronger, sure we may need a little bit of help here and there, but that us only so that we can keep moving forward.

Hey it's Neverland here to review your work!!

I like how you started off with all the things you dont have and then go on to say that you can still do everything with out them, just by a different means. And the way you go on to say that all the things you lack make you stronger and wiser, I love it!

Though I do have one negative (if you could call it that) thing to say: it's all in one stanza. If you break it up into about 3 then I think it'll flow even better. But thats just a prefrence and something I find makes the layout look nicer as well.

Overall I enjoyed reading your piece greatly, made waiting for class a little less painful even. *Smiles*

Keep writing! If this is any indication to your writing you're doing really good!!

Good luck in your endeavours in writing.

~ Neverland

loved it! your tone in this poem is magnificent and powerful!
keep writing! <3