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The Pixies Spectacular Adventure

by ILUVBUNNIES08


The Pixies Spectacular Adventure

BY. ILUVUNNIES08

Once upon a time in a faraway realm there lived a group of pixies by the names of Rose, Lidia, Daisy, Peter, Windy, and lastly Little Junior. They were best friends and they were never apart from each other until one day a big gust of wind came and separated them into different parts of the wood. One was the flower part that Rose and Daisy who are flower pixies were blown into. Windy who was a wind pixie was blown to the windiest part of the forest called the Windy Willows. Peter and Little Junior who are Snow Pixies were blown to the snowy side of the wood. Lidia who was a water pixie was blown to the Wonderful Waters. They were all trembling with fright until they saw what was around them. They were all in their realm which they hadn't seen since they were babies when their parents had left them to find flying flakes. Flying flakes was the source of their magic and were scarce at the time. Their parents never returned and left them alone, so the pixies had to leave and go to live with Queen Valentine who gladly took them in and raised them as her own. They arrived at Queen Valentine's in this order Rose, Lidia, Daisy, Peter, Windy, then Little Junior. Now they were back in their own realm which had its' own beauty. They all met different pixies who were their own kind and became friends with them. They asked if anyone had seen their friends but no one knew where they were. All of them were about to lose hope until they heard their names being called. Of course, they heard it at different times but one after another they heard their names. "Rose, Daisy, Lidia, Peter Little Junior, Windy!" They all flew toward the voice again it called, "Rose, Daisy, Lidia, Peter, Little Junior, Windy!" I'm coming they all called out. They had all followed the voice as it went over all the parts of the wood and one at a time the Pixies were reunited by the strange voice calling their names. They were now all there and they didn't want to be separated again so they were holding each other's hands tightly hoping to never let go. The voice led them to the deepest darkest part of the wood and stopped. "Stay here, my darlings," it said. They all looked at each other and said, "Somethings not right." Suddenly from above them, they heard a snicker and a cage dropped on them. "Help!" they all screamed. Suddenly something jumped onto their cage it was a sprite. "Let us out you horrid thing" Peter yelled, even though in fact the sprites were very cute. "No, we need to steal all of the flying flakes that you have so we can invade the wood and take over." The sprite apparently named Jack said. "But then if you take over, and capture all the Pixies who will take care of the flying flakes flower? It needs to be watered and have sunlight and be weeded and all sorts of things. If you capture our kind all the flowers will die." Rose cried. "Well, then we will keep some of them as slaves," Jack said. "It still won't work their powers don't work when they are depressed," Rose said. "Then what will?" Jack asked. "You must not capture any of us for then no one will be happy they will all be depressed," Rose said. "Well then what can we do we have never wanted to harm you, but you think we are trying to hurt your kind. We just want to be friends with ya'll but your kind thinks we are horrible so at last we now are trying to force you into friendship by taking all the flying flakes flowers so you will surrender to our friendship." Jack said. "All you had to do was ask to be our friends and we would have said yes. I would be honored to be friends with ya'll. I hope that you will be our friends." Rose said. "You really mean it?" Jack said. "I do, on one condition, will you let us out of this cage and promise never to steal our flying flakes?" Rose asked. "Of course!" Jack said. The Pixies went home to the castle with their new friends. They introduced Jack to the Queen. Jack and the Queen instantly fell in love and they soon got married and they ruled over the Pixies and Sprites together in Peace and Harmony.

The End


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Tue Nov 17, 2020 5:58 pm
ILUVBUNNIES08 says...



Hello my reviewers i have edited my work and everything yall have told me to fix please leave a like and a review if i fixed what i needed to fix thank a bunches bai




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Wed Nov 11, 2020 3:03 pm
ILUVBUNNIES08 says...



Hello, thank you all for the reviews ya'll left me I am not very good at language or grammar so you will have to spare me this time. I'm sorry that I have to do this but my language teacher is helping me edit it but she hasn't got to it yet. I am coming out with a new book on Christmas Eve called The Christmas Thief no it is not about the Grinch It is about a very naughty elf named Candy Cane. She is stealing Christmas presents right under Santa's nose and he doesn't know it until...... I am not telling the rest because it would ruin the whole story more about The Christmas Thief coming next Wednesday. My update on it might be delayed a day bc I have school that day and something else so I might need ya'll to bear with me while life goes on. So I know I have copy and pasted this article a thousand times because I am trying to make this count as a review and I haven’t reached the minimum yet. Also I am very Grateful that ya’ll gave me reviews on how to fix my story because I can fix it now. Also I made a club called the Brainstormers for people to get help brainstorming their book ideas. I know that I am a newbie but I can right some pretty good stories and I have a pro writer as my writing teacher so I will learn a lot from her I hope that ya’ll will continue following me and continue to review my books and read them as well. I don't know you guys personally or even met you guys but I hope we can be virtual friends.



Life Life Stay In School And Stay Cool
Bye for now
ILUVBUNNIES08




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Wed Nov 11, 2020 2:59 pm
ILUVBUNNIES08 says...






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Wed Nov 11, 2020 2:36 pm
ILUVBUNNIES08 says...






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Wed Nov 11, 2020 2:33 pm
ILUVBUNNIES08 says...






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Mon Nov 09, 2020 7:15 pm
LUNARGIRL wrote a review...



Hi, LUNARGIRL here with a review.

1. In the beginning when you say, "They were best friends and they were never separated until one day a big gust of wind came and separated them to different parts of the wood." You use the word separated twice in the sentence. I suggest you say that something like, they were never without each other, or something like that.

2. "One was the flower part which Rose and Daisy who are flower pixies were blown to. Windy who was a wind pixie was blown to the windiest part of the forest called the Windy Willows. Peter and Little Junior who are Snow Pixies were blown to the snowy side of the wood. Lidia who was a water pixie was blown to the Wonderful Waters." Right here is like an information overload, you give all the names of the pixies, what kind of pixie they are, and where they got blown to. I think you could find a better way to convey whats happening if you slow down the story. You make so much happen in such a small time which can be hard for the reader to understand the story when you try to pack so much information in that it takes away from the story.

3. I know you said this was your first time publishing, but your format was hard to read because this is just one big paragraph.

Overall you should try making your story longer more because it was hard to read when there is so much the reader needs to know in such a short amount of time, take your time, it's not a race to finish it. Those were just some of the things I saw in it, but this is also my person opinion, so feel free to throw it away. Good job, can't wait to read what you write next.

Carpe diem,
LUNARGIRL




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Mon Nov 09, 2020 2:00 pm
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Yoshikrab wrote a review...



Hi! I have a review for you!

So, this is a really interesting story! I absolutely love it!

The ending was a traditional fairy tale ending even though it was really rushed.

Personally, I would prefer if this was much less rushed so that the reader and process and enjoy the story more.

You have quite a few run-ons, fragments, and punctuation issues, but that can be solved with a little proofreading.

Also, the spacing here is really weird. Are you sure you typed it up like this? If you copy-pasted this from another place, then it's a formatting issue.

Anyways, hope you were satisfied with this review!

-y0sH!






yes i did copy and paste my story from word from when i wrote it



Yoshikrab says...


Okay, that explains it. You did a great job nonetheless!





Thank you





i like your new profile pic



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26 Reviews


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Mon Nov 09, 2020 2:00 pm
Yoshikrab says...



Love it!




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Sat Nov 07, 2020 4:31 pm
spunkyspacekitty wrote a review...



Hi ILUVBUNNIES08! Welcome to YWS

Glows: This was a very interesting story. I love the concept of the pixies all having their own realms. Also, the twist ending was interesting.

Grows: You need to work on your run on sentences. There are a lot of those in this story. Also, change the formatting so its a bit more readable. You also have a bit to many characters. This would still work with say, four pixies. It would also be easier for readers to keep track of.




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Sat Nov 07, 2020 4:21 pm
ILUVBUNNIES08 says...



Pls read it is my first time on here and I want it to be good





"You're wrong about humanity. They are your greatest creation because they're better than you are. Sure, they're weak, and they cheat and steal and destroy and disappoint, but they also give and create, and they sing and dance and love. Above all, they never give up."
— Metatron