Imagine;
I'm tangled up between her
Magnanimous, chilling legs. Face
Pressed comparably to the earth,
Nose only smelling what God himself created.
My lovely Navajo eyes see nothing
As she sighs—
Carrying my sumptuous will away again.
I feel nothing from head to toe,
Nails clawing at air,
Lips pressed eagerly to snow.
She's right behind me—
There's nothing more to know.
I smash together with heartbeats,
Breathing,
Wonderful harpy named love in tow.
Brittlely crying,
Not knowing what else to do.
She's got me, here,
Weighing joyfully on my soul.
Arms made of starched satin,
Eyelids full of unlikable cables,
Knees killed by sinking sails.
She's mine; I'm hers—
That's all I know.
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Canary word: Present
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125,014 Literary Works • 672,845 Reviews
Hi there, HorseradishCares! I like this, and I have just two comments:
1. Your line breaks are kind of random, making the flow pretty choppy. Try to think of why you hit the enter key when you do.
2. Brittlely? Huh? Do you mean "bitterly?" Or are you trying to make some derivative or "brittle?" "Brittlely" is not a word.
Overall, very nice description and great work!
I like! I like!