Dream On;
Purple, fluttering clouds float by...
I see you standing precociously on the waves.
You do not see me.
From now on, I pretend not to see you--
See you, and your wandering feet,
Your ponderous tail-like toes spreading in the sand.
You seem strange to me.
I cannot guess yet what you truly are.
It could quite be that you are a single enigma,
A blood-red stain on mine inner eye.
Cousin, line-stalker,
I forgive you for upsetting me.
But do the sparkling gulls?
They waddle here and there along the beach,
Irking me. Why can't things be real?
I dislike me curiously, the way I talk,
The way I think things out of nowhere in the gloom.
You smile at a snail that circles your feet,
Cheeks like roses cutting at the dark.
What are you? What is this?
Why is the sky the color of tanned, leather skin?
Why are my fingers shrinking like clothes left too long in the dryer?
Why can't I walk in a straight line,
And why is it that everything seems like a well pampered desert?
I ask you, stranger, my darling,
I ask you: why am I here?
What is my purpose?
Is this real?
Or am I merely just part of someone's imaginings?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,013 Literary Works • 672,844 Reviews
Hello, Here as requested
I am not too good at reviewing poetry but I will do my best.
mine should be my
This line seems to upset the rythme and poem as a whole, I don't really understand how it fits or what it means?
I think this poem was very well written so keep up the awesome work and I hope this helps you
Have a great day
Tiffany
Wow that's all I can say Wow. The imagery is beatiful and very vivid.
Hello there
The imagery in this is beautiful, it was so vivid and it worked so well! The mystery and pondering also worked very well, I liked how the stranger started off as the mystery that then turned into the person seeing the stranger, it was very effective and you did this very well. The world that you create is a strange almost frighteneing yet it is so familiar at the same time - a very good effect to create for the reader.
I too have nothing negative to say about this piece, just keep you the good work and keep expanding, I really do look forward to reading more poetry from you.
Jesse
Hello there and welcome to YWS
Wow, this was lovely, just lovely. I thought that you did a really good job with the imagery and I could really feel the deep emotion as I read the poem. I really have nothing bad to say about it.
I am definitely looking forward to seeing more work like this from you.
Good job