Authors Note- Sorry it cuts off so suddenly towards the end, I'll be away for the weekend and wanted to make sure I got this in on time.
Grandma found a scratchy old crotched blanket for me. It was huge, big enough to entangle five full grown people. I’d wrapped it around myself at I sat at her dingy kitchen table.
Though the outside of her house was dark and forbidding, the inside was rather cozy; as I suspected, there is a large brick fireplace cackling off to one corner of the room (though it flickered as though it was about to go out.) At the stove, the tea kettle hissed full force, but Grandma had become sidetracked cooking a slab of meat for me. I want to tell her that it wouldn’t be necessary, that I was too ill to keep anything down anyway, but the grumbling in the pit of my stomach says otherwise.
Despite the blanket and the fire, I shiver terribly. It’s begun to storm outside, and I can picture the rain sloshing against Moms windshield. How could she have left me? Of all her lies, saying she loved me was the most wicked.
Grandma slid a plate of steak onto the table and returned to the kitchen to tend to the kettle. There is only one chair here, and I wonder if I should give it up so my elder can sit.
But the smell of the steak is too intoxicating- I haven’t eaten since the gas station food this afternoon, and I’m sick at the thought of it. I lift my fork and dig in- wishing desperately I was at home, tucked in bed.
My grandma returns with a mug brimmed with tea, and sets it down beside me, “No allergies, right?” She asks. I shake my head, and she nods in acknowledgement.
“Where will you sit?” I ask.
“I can stand.”
She waits in the kitchen while I finish eating the steak. The tea, I eye wearily, as it smells suspicious, and is a strange color indeed. Though, when I finally do take a ship, I find that it’s just bitter enough. I wonder if it has caffeine in it. Mom never lets me drink caffeine.
When I finish the last of it, I turn to my grandma. “Mom says you have answers.”
Grandma raises her eyebrows, “I don’t know what she’s told you.” She says, “What kind of answers are you looking for?”
My throat dries, and I realize I am not so sure either. I don’t know what my mom hoped to accomplish by sending here. Finally, I say, “Frogs.”
Somehow, this confuses my grandma further, “Frogs?” She asks.
“Frogs.” I affirm. “A whole ton of dead frogs came to life in my science class today.” For the first time, it dawns on me just how strange that sounds. I rush ahead, “The police thought I had something to do with it, can you believe it? I guess Mom thought I’d be arrested or something because she sent me here.”
“Well,” Grandma says, “You did have something to do with it.”
I furrow my brow, “What do you mean?”
“Kim, you’re a necromancer.”
She pauses dramatically, but I’m just confused. I shuffle uncomfortably, fidgeting with my mug, “I don’t know what that means.”
“You know what death is?” I nod, insulted. She continues, “Well, necromancers can breathe life into dead things. Reanimate them, if you will.”
“You can cure death?”
“No, not really.” She says, “But that’s a discussion for another time. Your mother caught me unawares, so I haven’t prepared a room for you. You’ll have to make-do with the library.”
“You have a library?” The blanket falls to the ground as I jump to my feet. For the moment, all my anxiety is forgotten.
“Right this way,” she says as I follow quickly behind her.
Grandma drags a decades-old mattress into the room, along with a few pillows and the blanket I’d left carelessly strewn in the kitchen. “Please, get some sleep.” She says, “It’s nearly midnight. A kid your age shouldn’t be up so late.”
I nod, but the moment she leaves the room, I’m over by the bookshelf. When she said ‘library’ I let myself imagine a place like the public one back home. But I supposed this one was more of the personal variety, as it was only one (very large) shelf decorating the wall of the room.
Not only that, but the kind of books housed here appeared very different. They weren’t the neon-colored textbooks found in Louis Library, or even the cheesy romance novels Mom sometimes checked out; Grandmas books were massive tombs, covered in dust. None of them had been touched in years. Most strangely, there were no titles on any of them. All of them were uniform, leatherbound books, each heavier, yet more delicate, than the last.
I pulled on from the shelf at random, this one weighing more than a baby pig. I turn the pages carefully, as not to rip them, until I reach the first proper page.
Unfortunately, the words marking it were far beyond my vocabulary. I struggled through the first paragraph before slamming the book shut and returning it to its proper place. Tears brim in my eyes, and I return to my mattress, raging at Mom for leaving me here.
Just like the blanket, the mattress Grandma gave me is itchy and unpleasant, and I have the eerie suspicion several somebodies died on it. Still, sleep finds me easily, and it isn’t long before I pass out.
I wake to the sun shining through a small, round window near the height of the wall. In stories, I always read about characters not knowing where they are when they rise somewhere new. But for me, memories flood my mind straight away. I’m filled with dread before I even open my eyes.
Mom, I think, tears welling up. But I’ve cried enough in the last twenty-four hours. I don’t want to cry anymore.
I slide from beneath my blank and off the mattress, assessing my surroundings, wondering what I might have missed in the dead of night. There’s an old-fashioned vanity across the room, with a very small chair that looks like it might have been built for a toddler. I wander over opening the drawers to find my clothes folded neatly into piles.
My reflection watches me as I do this, judgment in her eyes. My hairs a mess of tangles all the way down my scalp, and my bulging eyes look a little like Grandmas with so little sleep.
The bookshelf taunts me from its wall, all the books I can’t yet read. I wish bitterly that I’d have thought to pack my own things to read. Now, I didn’t know when I would get to return home.
There’s a noise from outside my door and stop. I didn’t notice any footsteps. I don’t move, pressing my ears to hear it again.
It’s a ribbit. I run to the door and swing it open, finding the frog from my science classroom staring up at me expectantly.
“Woah,” I say, amazed, “Did you follow me here?”
I bend down to pick it up, and it hops straight into my hands, just as it did yesterday. It somehow seemed less shriveled, less dead, than it had just a couple hours ago.
“I guess you found your way home after all.” I pause, “Or, well, not home-home, but I think this is a swamp, anyhow. And you’re too dumb to know the difference.”
“That’s one way to address your familiar.”
I jump, turning to see Grandma hobbling down the hall. “Good morning,” I say, trying to cover the fact I was just talking to a sorta-dead frog.
Grandma chuckles, “It’s alright, talking to the deceased is part of our job.”
My mind is buzzing with a dozen different questions, but I went with, “What do you mean by familiar?”
“First thing a young necromancer reanimates.” Grandma says, “They generally form some greater connection with their creator.”
“Oh.”
“So?” Grandma asks, “What are you going to name her?”
My eyes widen, “I haven’t the least idea! That’s such a big decision!” I look down at the frog, “Clover? Lily?” I dismiss the names quickly- they’re too easy. “It needs to be something special.” I say, mostly to myself.
“Why don’t you think it over after breakfast?” Grandma asks, “I have eggs in the kitchen.”
In the light of the day, I find that my grandmas living quarters are in much greater disarray. Stacks of untouched trinkets line the walls, and dirty plates cover the sink. Without the fireplace on, I find it also smells rather moldy, like there’s something decaying in the walls.
But the eggs are good. They’re exactly like how Mom makes them. I wonder if Grandma taught her the recipe, or if it was the other way around.
When I finish my food, I ask, “What now?”
“Now,” Grandma says, “We’re going to lay down some ground rules.”
A chill goes up my spine. I was starting to get used to Grandmas imposing presence, but her biting voice reminds me who she is, where I’m at, and who left me here.
Sometime during the night, she must have found another chair for the table. She sits down across from me, folding her long, shriveled hands in front of her. “Your mother tells me you’re a very inquisitive girl. Know that that trait will not help you in this swamp. Curiosity will and has killed many good people.”
“But you can just bring me back to life, right?” I ask, but Grandma is already shaking her head.
“Not as you are.” She says, “Not in the slightest.”
I want to ask what she means, but she’s already talking again. “First, you are never to go outside this house past dark unless I am there to accompany you. If you disobey this rule, I can’t promise you won’t be eaten.” Her mouth quirks in a slight smile, but she might not be joking.
“Second, necromancy is not a game. It is terribly dangerous, and costs more lives than it saves. You are to never, ever resurrect something unless I’m right there beside you to assist. This is of the utmost importance for you to remember; we are not gods; we are sins against nature. Thus, we must use our gifts properly and with respect, lest we become the devil inside of us.”
My head throbbed. I was reminded of the language used in the strange book on her shelf, the one too complex for me to read. I wondered if, unlike my mother, Grandma was religious.
“Third, I expect you to complete chores around the house. I’m older than I once was, and it may be good to instill some discipline in you.”
“Is that all?” I ask.
“Yes.” She says, either missing my sarcasm or choosing to ignore it. She eyes my empty plate, “I was planning to get groceries sometime soon, but since you’re here, I’ll have to make that now. I trust you will handle yourself?”
I glance about the room, unsure about being left alone in this strange house. “What do you want me to do?” I ask.
“You may play outside if you wish, so long as you do not stray too far.”
That didn’t seem anymore appealing than waiting here all alone. I really couldn’t tell what Mom had planned, whether she hoped I might learn something, or whether she just wanted me out of my sight. More than anything, I felt abandoned.
“May I go with you instead?” I ask. Grandma seemed surprised.
“If that is what you wish.”
I worried Grandma didn’t have a car, but a short five-minute walk brought us to what seems to me like a decades old truck. It was half sunken in the mud, and I didn’t think she would be able to start it. Still, I get in and buckle my seat belt. A short while later, we are on the same road Mom drove me down last night.
The swamp is far brighter during the day. Sunlight soaks the leaves, bathing the bumpy path before us in golden-green light. It’s quite beautiful, actually.
Pretty soon though, we’ve come to a more rural looking area. Most of the buildings look abandoned, either boarded up or destroyed completely. I’m reminded of the downtown area back home in Louis and wondered if this is the fate of my home, some forgotten place no one’s heard of.
Seeing the look on my face, my grandma says, “This used to be a popular tourist spot before a highway was built, just North of here. Probably the same one you drove down on.”
Despite how rundown it was, I noticed there were still gaggles of people about. A group of kids, all around my age, chased each other around the corner. For a moment, I thought one of them might be Catherine. It’s dumb, but part of me wants to run after them.
We nearly drive by the grocery store- it’s an old looking establishment sandwiched between a closed toy shop and a shady looking restaurant. Beneath it’s rusted awning, the supermarket doesn’t look much better. Unlike the one back home, there are no mothers toting screaming toddlers, nor kindly looking grandparents trotting about with their trolleys.
We park the car on the side of the road. I follow Grandma as she selects a rather small shopping cart. She seems to take particular care with the decision, even though they all look the same.
We step into the store. I startle, as the bell above the door jingles. “They still have those?” I grumble, “I thought those only existed in movies.”
Grandma smiles kindly at me, but before she can respond, another voice juts in.
“Beatrice! Good to see you again! Who’s your little friend?”
Assuming the ‘little friend’ is me, I turn to face the counter, where an old white man with square glasses peers over at us.
The man’s hair is partway bunched up into a ponytail, and I can tell by his face he smiles often. But I disliked the condescension in his voice when he said ‘little.’
“My name is Kim.” I say, addressing him directly. Forgetting my earlier apprehension, I approach the counter, and shake his hand. He seems surprised, and all too amused.
“Kimberly is my granddaughter. Kim, this is Sam.”
“Is that so?” Sam says, raising an eyebrow, “In that case, it’s nice to meet you, Kim. Your grandmother is rather famous around these parts.”
“How so?” I ask, but Beatrice is already ushering me away.
“We’re just here to pick up the essentials.” She starts to say, but Sam cuts her off.
“I’m really the only one in town who will come in a miles radius of her.” He says, “Maybe since you’re her blood and bone, you can tell us what really goes on in that damn forest, and about those screams we hear at night.”
The blood drains from my face, “Screams?”
“Now that’s enough there. Really, are you trying to give the child nightmares?” Grandma chides. “I’ve told you before, and I’ll tell you again dear boy, it’s just the wind sending these good townsfolk into whirlwinds of rumors and superstitions. I pray not what should happen Sam, if I find it is you perpetuating these wild flights of fancy.”
Goosebumps rise along my arms. The room was colder than death itself. Then, Sam laughs, and so does Grandma, and the chill between them melts away.
Grownups are so confusing.
Grandma, who’s face is now merry, turns to me, “Kim, why don’t you help me browse the shelves. I’ll let you pick out something sweet for yourself.” I nod and follow her through the store.
I want to ask Grandma more about the alleged screams the towns people heard, and whether it was really the wind. (Afterall, she was a necromancer. How great of a leap was it really to think she might do light murder on the side?) But despite Sam being all the way across the shop from us, he’s still way within ear shot.
It occurs to me that I should maybe be a little more frightened. Of this strange witch woman I was placed in the care of, or this terrible place my mom saw fit to drop me in, willy-nilly. My grip tightens around the jar of pickles Grandma passed to me, and I bite my lip to stop myself crying.
Why pickles, I think, focusing my attention on that matter instead, Mom never got pickles. I hate pickles.
The front doorbell jingles again. And I startle. Again.
I peer through the shelves, holding the jar of pickles to my chest. Heat rises to my cheeks as I realize it’s the same group of kids I saw earlier, including the girl who reminded me of Catherine.
Close up, the two looked nothing alike. They had the same oval glasses, but that was where the resemblance ended. This girl had dark, unruly hair that stuck up in every direction, and her skin, whiter than the glowing sidewalk outside, is already sunburned, despite it not being summer.
She’s smiling wide and is out of breath. She and her three friends, all about my age, chime a chorus of “Morning Sam!” as they enter. There’s a pang in my chest as I listen to their mindless meandering.
My heart drops as one of them catches my eye through the shelves. He’s dark skinned with a tie dye shirt and is smiling just as much as the other girl.
“Hi!” He calls over. There’s a gap between his teeth, and he has a slight lisp, “Do we know you?”
I realize I’ve been holding to the shelves tight enough; it’s made an indent on my skin. Feeling I have little choice, I rise to my feet, “Hi.” I say, choking the word out.
“That’s Kim, she’s new in town.” Sam chimes in.
“I’m Benjamin, you can call me Ben.” He says, “This is Susan, Gabriel, and Jasmine.”
He gestures to each of them in turn. Susan is a blonde girl with bangs and too many freckles, and Gabriel is a roundish kid with pink skin and big ears.
“Hi.” I say, again.
I find myself looking towards my grandma, but she’s across the store examining every single carton of eggs in the fridge. I gulp, turning back to face the group, still clutching my jar of pickles for dear life.
“When did you get here? There’s still a month of school left, why didn’t your parents wait to move until after the year ended? Don’t you miss your friends?” The Susan girl asked in a shrill, grating voice. My head began to throb.
“Special circumstances.” I said, shuffling my feet.
I could tell they were growing impatient with me. Kids my age always did. But it wasn’t like I made any effort with them either. I was suddenly desperate to make that right. My mind groped for something, anything I could say that could salvage this conversation.
“What’re you looking for?” I blurt out.
Jasmine lifts a crisp ten-dollar bill from her pocket, “Ice-cream.” She says, smiling like she’s about to commit theft. Or tax fraud. One of the two. Of course, it would be ill advised to steal ice cream with the salesclerk standing three feet to the left of you.
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125,027 Literary Works • 672,773 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
First Impression: Okayy this is a lovely little start to his part here. It seems Beatrice here gets more and more interesting as we go on, and Kim is trying to settle into this new thing in here life. I don't know if her ending up being friends with the grandmother and this being a new part of life for Kim is better than her being able to learn what she needs and return to her old one. Either way, this is being brought along quite nicely I think.
Anyway let's get right to it,
Well this is a cozy start. Given the kind of vibes that we were getting earlier, I really wasn't expecting to run into something quite like this here given how the previous one ended and the bits of tension running through the whole piece but I am most certainly not complaining about this.
Well its good to see that Kim here is at least managing to take care of herself for the moment despite quite obviously not being as comfortable as she would like to be at the moment.
Well that's off to a lovely start here. I like that the grandma here isn't wasting too much more time beyond the bare minimum needed for Kim to get a little bit settled before she is diving straight into the important problems. Kim, however looks like she needs to work on being a bit more specific.
Ahhhhh this is going so, so well at the moment. I know its not exactly anything monumental but there's just too many stories where reveals like this take years to happen and everyone gets mad at each other, so to have it just be revealed so simply and so easily is just perfect although I have a feeling this is not going to end up being better for Kim.
OOooh that is an interesting way for this to be put. I love that we've got the distinction being drawn about how necromancers can't really fix people who are dead and of course Kim being very Kim about a library is a lovely touch here. Maybe there's hope for these two to get along better after all.
Ahh loving the classic move here of staying up late to explore the library even if this one definitely isn't nearly large enough to actually receive that particular title.
I kind of have a feeling Kim's suspicions are right on that one, as terrifying as that particular thought happens to be here although I suppose you can chalk it up to quite how sudden Kim's entrance was that the grandma here doesn't necessarily have all the right tools.
Well, this could be a worse start to the day here. It seems that at least despite all the horrors waiting in store, Kim here is prepared to try and do her best with this day, which is always a good sign. Of course it does look like its going to be a while before she gets any level of comfortable in this place which isn't ideal.
Well that's not something I thought I was going to end up running into again. Okayyy...so somehow Kim's frog from earlier is going to be important to the story. TI honestly love that because we really get far too invested in that frog in the first chapter for all the detail to be for nothing, so this is a lovely little surprise.
Ahh, one again I just adore the way that Beatrice goes about revealing things to Kim. Its so matter of fact and to the point and I love that so much more than dramatic reveals or random riddles that will take months to solve.
Hmm well it seems at least Kim is going to be able to warm up to grandma here a little over time. There's some decent signs here, and I have a feeling all this clatter and mess is going to end up being slowly cleaned up over the coming few days too. It seems like the house probably fell into a bit of disrepair since no one ever visited it.
Well...gotta love that we're starting with the thing that can kill you. Also I suppose that means it is officially confirmed this swamp is creepy in some sort of supernatural way. That does make me question why exactly grandma here chose to live right in the middle of it because darkness and death don't seem necessary to the necromancy in this world. At the very least I can get the gist of why Kim's mom left with her and tried to at least stay away.
Okay that's a couple of solid rules, although that second rule there went off on a couple of tangents that seemed to hint at some other potential problems somewhere. Maybe I'm just too focused on trying to figure out reasons that Kim's mother left so quickly but that seems like it could be a reason there too.
Well that seems like a solid rule there too, the other two definitely shouldn't be outweighing this one either because it is pretty clear from the state of everything that the grandmother here isn't exactly thriving by herself.
Ahhh well that's not something I honestly even thought about here. Besides the whole grocery store thing (which again this is going to be repetitive but I love that Kim is totally allowed to be out of the house provided she doesn't go anywhere too dangerous, that seems like a good recipe towards stopping her from going where she shouldn't out of boredom) the idea that Kim's mom vanished so quickly just to abandon Kim with her mother who she clearly doesn't talk to much either is definitely a powerful thought there. I don't believe it was that way, but I can definitely see how Kim might feel here given how that whole interaction went.
Well that's pretty true of most creepy places, the light has a way of just making everything look significantly less scary and I suppose with Kim being in general a fan of swamps, that just makes things tend even more towards that.
Well that seems like a perfectly non dumb though there Kim. ALso love that way of just making sure we remember Kim is in fact ten as all of this is happening. Its just so rare for things this crazy to be happening to someone so young that its hard to keep that in mind sometimes.
AHhh I love the detail of being so particular about a shopping cart. Its a very, very random thing but a very real thing at the same time and those little details really do go a long way to make a story be just that bit more immersive.
Well if that isn't an interesting conversation. I don't know why but despite the way that this whole thing seems tailor made for Sam to be some sort of friendly soul that happens to have lived in this town forever and be some sort of wealth of knowledge, there's a pretty large vein of tension running right through the whole thing make it all sound very questionable here.
Well either Sam here is really, really good at pulling a prank here or something that tension that we saw being hinted at earlier really is about to end up coming full circle in potentially the worst way its possible for that to come full circle.
Well I don't know if I believe the whole approach with the screams being caused by the grandma although I honestly do think the occasional scream being heard from a swamp quite that creepy at night is pretty much a requirement. It would be strange if a place that creepy was quiet and peaceful and night.
Well I do love the effect that this seems to be having on Kim here. It would be a bit strange if the ten year old didn't end up thinking a bit too much of that potential prank/ actual threat. Its also a nice reminder of her age again, especially as we now have the kids from earlier make another appearance.
Well they seem friendly enough there. I'm going use that to assume that maybe the whole screams thing isn't quite so true after all. It is possible that this could be happening because the grandma isn't in the vicinity at the moment and these kids don't know, but something about this store now having other life in besides being just empty makes it seem more likely that the earlier conversation really was just a joke.
Well that's a lovely start there to that. I get the feeling that just maybe these children will end up being important in some way or the other. Given the main character here is ten years old it is tradition to have a bit of a small gang of other children around.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
Overall: Overall, a lovely little chapter. I assume this part's going to be left a bit for the second draft in terms of how the rest of this meeting with the children goes, but at the very least the bit we get here, of both the children and Sam and this area in general is pretty nice. It seems a nice enough place for the moment besides the creepiness of the swamp, the potential danger of everything around that and of course those screams. I can't wait to see how this new duo here ends up developing and how these new characters affect they story. There's a little too much detail in here for them to just be only in this one scene.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
By the way, is there meant to be a Chapter Three Part Two somewhere? Or is that a work-in-progress at the moment? c:
It's a work in progress, lol. I couldn't figure out how I wanted to end that interaction, so I figured I'd just move along and fix it later.
Ah that's a good idea! I'll head on to chapter 4 then c:
Hi there Horisun! I’ve read the chapters up until this point and decided to give this one a review since it’s still in GR. The story so far has been pretty interesting. I like that the main character has a very distinct personality. I can tell she’s a stickler for order and routine, and is also very studious. She sees herself as being different from other kids and maybe even superior in some ways (?). The lore about necromancy seems dark and interesting, and I’m curious to see what her grandmother is going to teach her and what she might end up uncovering for herself.
First Impressions – this chapter
What stands out to me in this chapter is the new characters being introduced. It feels like Kim is making an effort to talk to them in a different way than she was with her classmates in earlier chapters. It’s interesting to see a character change like that. Another interesting thing is how the people in this town interact with the grandmother. Sam and her have an odd interaction in this chapter that makes me wonder if the people in this town are going to generally be friends or foes.
Characters
Something I liked about the characterization in this chapter is how the effects of the previous events on Kim are shown. I thought it was quite realistic that she would be upset by not being able to read the books, and upset about pickles *because* it wasn’t what her mother usually bought. Having to go through such a crazy change in a short amount of time would do that to a person, I think, so that was a believable emotional response.
I also like the contrast between the kind and stern aspects of the grandmother. I could kind of tell she’d be gentler than her first appearance in the story when she asked Kim about allergies. (Though personally I would have asked that question before making the food, haha.)
Some questions I had about the characters so far are mostly about Kim’s relationship with her mother. Why does Kim think her mother doesn’t love her? What exactly is her mother doing while Kim is meant to be at her grandmother’s place? Is she dealing with the police and trying to keep Kim hidden until it’s safe to come out? I wonder if they’ll be answered in later chapters.
Continuity
I did find it a bit hard to keep track with how quickly the main character’s emotions were changing in the first half of this. While I like the complexity, something that could be improved would be the organization of that complexity, if that makes sense. A related point is that it feels like a lot of stuff happens in this one chapter, with not much room between each new piece of information? First, the grandmother officially says she’s a necromancer, then already she’s meeting her familiar, then they go out to town . . . I like that this keeps the plot moving and I can tell you’ve got a lot of interesting story thought up here. Still, I feel it would be nice to have these plot points each in their own individual scene, and maybe even with some scenes taking place a few days apart from each other, instead of one thing happening right after the other. That’s just my personal experience reading this though!
Setting
Something I like about this chapter is that we’re getting to explore the world of the story a little bit more. I like how the grandmother’s home was fleshed out a bit and how it’s described as looking different in the daytime. The more ‘normal’ peaceful appearance kind of marks the shift in tone of this chapter to being less scary and desperate, which I think is a neat transition.
Overall
I think you’ve improved on creating a sense of place since the first few chapters, so great job on that! While as I said I would have appreciated more time to soak in new plot points and information, I enjoyed the characterization in this chapter and am curious about Kim and her grandmother, as well as the inhabitants of the town.
Hope this helps and feel free to ask for more feedback!
-Lim
Well, it looks like it will take a while for Kim to adjust, but hopefully she’ll get the hang of it. Hopefully. My favorite part would have to be near the end, when she meets the kids. The interactions between them feel like they will slowly become friends. I’m excited for the mischief they’ll make.
There were a few words that are in past tense. For example, you say “It seemed less shriveled, less dead”, when I think that you mean “It seems less shriveled, less dead”. I’m actually guilty of making this kind of mistake a lot, so don’t stress about it.
Other than that, this was so fun! I wish you a spooktacular day/night!