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To the Forest

by HikariHateke


To the Forest I go
with the flowers and birds.

To the Forest I go
where it's safe, where I'm heard.

To the forest I go
in the depths of despair.

To the forest I go
with the secrets i bring.

To the forest I go
with the shadows and things.

To the Forest I go
it's now gruesome and grim.

To the Forest I go
it's where I reside.

To the Forest I go
it's not safe here...hide.


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13 Reviews


Points: 338
Reviews: 13

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Mon Aug 09, 2021 11:05 pm
BornToBeGreat wrote a review...



Hey, hope you're having a good day!

I'm here with a quick review. I like your poem. The rhyme scheme isn't bad, however I noticed a few grammatical errors in the stanzas 3, 4, and 5.

Overall, I wouldn't change anything else. When I look at poems (most of the time), I'm looking for authenticity, creativity, and rhyme schemes. You did pretty good. Here's the thing, I never really imagined a forest to be gruesome and grim. Ha ha, maybe it's because I haven't experienced it. Fantastic work! I look forward to reading more and more of your poems. Keep writing, you're doing great.

Keep working and stay strong,
-BornToBeGreat




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Sun Aug 01, 2021 6:05 pm
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authorjadelewis says...



interesting




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520 Reviews


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Sat Jul 31, 2021 8:32 am
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ForeverYoung299 wrote a review...



Hey! Forever here for a short review!

You did a great job with the poem. You managed to capture the feelings of a human being who is very much involved with the nature, especially greenery and forest. I had a question about the spelling of 'forest'. As long as I know, the spelling is 'forest' and not 'forrest'. I searched it up for more clarification. Google says forrest means topographic name for someone who lived in or near a royal forest, or a metonymic occupational name for a keeper or worker in one. I don't think you meant the same in your poem. Please look it up.
I have a doubt regarding the meaning of your poem and that is

To the Forrest I go
where it's safe, where I'm heard.

What is actually this 'heard'? Who hears you? Nature? Life? This is what I could interpret. If it is so, it's great and if not, pls tell me what it means.

Another thing that I noticed is the formatting. The formatting looks really good and makes the reader read the whole poem. I wonder why you suddenly stopped capitalizing the 't's in the third and fourth stanzas and then again capitalizing the next and again back to no capitalization.
Overall, it was an awesome poem.
Keep writing!
~Forever




HikariHateke says...


Ah my bad with the spelling -I was spelling it the first way but figured autocorrect was right, (lol of course it wasnt)- my grammar isn't the best as I haven't been in school since around grade 4 or 5 (it's complicated but nonetheless i try my best to write)

And yeah I kinda based this off my self, when I was younger whenever I was upset id go outside to my backyard and cry and talk to myself (or my cat sometimes) and my yard isn't exactly a Forrest but it has a lot of trees and it just kinda almost looked like one when I was smaller.

The capitalization is again my mistake and I'll be sure to fix those who

Honestly I should learn to check my grammar multiple times before I post but I always get anxious about not posting something as soon as i feel its done -I don't know why but the longer i wait the more I feel like deleting a work so then I just try rush and post it as soon as possible, I'm trying to work on that though-

and Thx for the review i appreciate it a lot!





Those are mere mistakes and can be fixed easily. :D You can use grammarly as your grammar checker. It's not bad. And if you ever need help regarding anything, you can always pm me.



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Fri Jul 30, 2021 10:36 pm
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mordax wrote a review...



Hey there, Mordax here with a review!

I love the format of this poem, and it gave me strong folktale vibes which I loved. It was entertaining to read and I only have one critique, but here it is:

it's not safe here hide.
(idk how to get the cross through after copying and pasting but pretend it's there)
But here I was trying to make sense of what you meant if the cross through hadn't been there. "It's not safe here hide" isn't really grammatically correct. Maybe if there was a comma after the "here"? I realize that disrupts the hidden truth tone you are going for and the almost brainwashing technique you are showing, but I stuttered over this line trying to figure it out so the ending of the poem lost it's impact for me. This is just my opinion, however, but I do love this cross through method here and it is very indicative of the message you are conveying.

My interpretation of this poem was of life. I have always viewed life as this path through a forest and some roads are dark and unknown, a metaphor for our ignorance. I saw that in your poem, how life is painted in this beauty, how it's safe, comforting, and glorious. In reality, there are shadows and things hidden around corners. The way you say how you reside in this forest after talking of the grim aspects of it was to me the way we get caught in these shadows and don't find a way out, lost in the gruesome aspects of this forest. And it is super relatable how life is disguised as being safe and perfect when it is anything but.

Great writing!

Mordax




HikariHateke says...


Hey thx for the review!

I honestly thought about how that line needed a comma but wasn't sure if it would ruin what I was doing with it ya know?

I love your interpretation! It's always interesting to see how readers saw what I wrote!



HikariHateke says...


I think I actually fixed it just now if ya wanna re-read?



mordax says...


Ooooooh yes!!! I love this new edit!




Learn the rules like a pro, so you can break them like an artist.
— Pablo Picasso