Young Writers Society

Not a review, but this is a sweet poem! Made me smile I like the lines/colours "yellow" and "blue" in particular.

Hi Hikari! I found the title of your poem intriguing, so here I am for a quick review :)

The first thing I notice about is the choice to use a black background with white text. I'm curious if it ties into the theme of the poem at all, or if that was a purely aesthetic choice (which is totally fair). I think it could potentially be referencing the last two lines that describe the colours/shades black and white - or, it could also be reflecting the idea that life is full of contrasts and opposites.

I definitely appreciate the concept behind this poem. Life is so bright, diverse, and... well, colourful, so to compare it to the colours of the rainbow seems pretty fitting. I also enjoy the optimistic take on life in this poem; in the midst of some very stressful, messed-up times, it can be nice to see a more positive description of the possibilities of life.

I feel like the execution of the poem has one main drawback, though - it's based entirely on similes ("something like something else") which tend to be weaker than metaphors. When you have a mix of both, similes can be quite compelling, but when you base an entire poem off of just similes they have a harder time standing up on their own. The reason similes can be a bit weaker is because they make a comparison between two things, which inadvertently puts a bit of distance between them and makes the connection feel less intense. A metaphor, on the other hand, states that something is something else. While this is rarely something that can be taken literally, it gets rid of the distance and makes the connection feel more intense.

For example, instead of saying "Red, like fire, that burns bright within" you could try "Red flames that burn brightly within, reviving charred coals". Something like the second version would be a metaphor, and as you can see, the image it evokes feels more intense.

You do use some a couple small metaphors that I did really enjoy in the poem, though! -> "the sunrise of new beginnings" and "dandelions of past wishes and memories". The images created by these phrases are really evocative and interesting! I would encourage you to try to incorporate more of this type of imagery into the poem!

Overall, I like the concept behind this poem. I feel like you could strengthen it by using some more complex images/metaphors, and perhaps eliminate the repetition of "[Colour], like [description]" in the process. I hope this review proves useful for you, and let me know if you have any questions about what I brought up! ^-^

Keep writing!
Seirre

The colors of life shine for all of us.They all mean different things to us.The colors make us happy and help us sing our way into the world.We dance and smile with friends and enemies.We love to dance through the path of life.I loved this poem and I thought the way you described it was lovely.I hope that you will have a great and awesome day and night.