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Rhapsody of the Late Monsoon

by Haraya

The summer breeze croons
Warm as a lover’s whisper
Confiding like a dear friend.

Sunday laundries sway
To the blazing ballad of May
Until their dampened spirits
Are lifted to the heavens.

A crowd of water hyacinths
Returns to the shores of the bay
Swinging to the rhythm of waves
Along the final groove of Laguna.

Requiem to December
Gospel of the rain--
The orchestra of winds
Gathers once more
To deliver one glorious encore

Before the giant spotlight shines down
And a curtain of clouds finally fall.

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19 Reviews

Points: 8
Reviews: 19

Mon May 10, 2021 3:22 pm
Phillauthet wrote a review...

This poem is amazing! I love how you compare Nature to a Theatre, and your way of indirectly expressing things.

Your choice of words are... Interesting, if I might say.
You make it sound like Mother nature has put together a great show, playing it over and over again each year as the climate shifts.

I really loved the last two lines, as it neatly ties up all you want to convey.

I have no critiques to this poem, it's perfect!

Keep writing!!

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17 Reviews

Points: 117
Reviews: 17

Mon May 03, 2021 3:06 pm
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MellyBourne wrote a review...

There's a lot to say about this one. I admire how you took simple things, things every reader has seen and expierienced and describe them in a way never done before. You have the gift of painting whole pictures with words. Another thing that grabs my attention is your style and word choice, at first I thought you were trying a bit too hard, sometimes using very sophisticated words to sound poetic, but at my next reads I realized how it all works giving the whole thing a nice rythm and sound, great work. This poem sticks with you after reading it. I love the world you created with this piece.

Haraya says...

Thank you for pointing that out! It's becoming common that I use big words in my poem (for better or worse), and I do think it would be better if I can say the same thing in more familiar words. I think I have to challenge myself on that. Thank you so much for this review!

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58 Reviews

Points: 605
Reviews: 58

Mon May 03, 2021 2:32 pm
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NivedaJames22 wrote a review...

Hey Haraya!

First of all, lemme just say, you have this beautiful way with words, which is just so poetical!! I know that sounds kind of dumb, 'cause like, this is a poem, but this poem is so...poetical. Like, the word choice, and the flow and the the imagery are all so wow! I could probably keep rhapsodizing about the magnificence of your poem forever.

Anyways, you have a beautiful title.

I love how you have this song theme throughout the poem for your word choices, like rhapsody, croons, ballad, rhythm, groove, requiem, and orchestra. A lot of times, people start out with a theme and then forget all about it, but you stuck with it up until the very end.

I especially love how you close the poem, it just fits with the theme so well and sounds so beautiful:

The orchestra of winds
Gathers once more
To deliver one glorious encore

Before the giant spotlight shines down
And a curtain of clouds finally fall.

On the whole, it was a brilliant, flawless gem of a poem. Can't wait to read more of your work.

Keep writing.

Haraya says...

Thank you so much! All that you said inspires me to keep improving my work. I really appreciate your review!

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11 Reviews

Points: 260
Reviews: 11

Sun May 02, 2021 5:10 pm
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FourLeafClover wrote a review...

Hey there! I'm here to review your poem!

First of all, I would like to say that you did really well on it!
You painted an image in my mind of the scene of the poem, which I (along with other readers) happen to love. Not only did you paint it very vividly, but it was also really gorgeous because of the way you described it.
I also like how you indented the final stanza of the poem. It brought more attention to said stanza and shows that it must be important, which is nice, because the reader would know that it's important, and it also looks cool that way.
Also, I found nothing grammar-wise that doesn't work out well, which is definitely great. Lots of people are very picky about grammar, so they don't have anything revolving around grammar to complain about. Plus, because of the well-done grammar, the poem flows together nicely.

All in all, I think this is a really good poem, and I have found nothing wrong with it!
Awesome job, and I hope you have a great day!

Haraya says...

Thank you so much for this review! I'm very happy you liked the poem!

i exist in a constant state of confusion so its ok
— veeran