​Trust, Truth, and Trying

I enjoyed this poem wholly, from the imagery to the symmetry between truth and trust. I think everyone else has pretty much covered the fact that it is a very good poem. Very relatable and great imagery.
Forgive me if I sound standoffish, but I like to play the part of the devil's advocate from time to time. I thought, perhaps I could add to the poem with a question or statement of my own. In hopes that it would lead to another great piece of work such as this one. My question is: How often is it that the truth hurts you(or your loved one(s)) more than the lies?
I oft find difficulty in balancing the two, as I am such a selfish person in my want to make others content.
Perhaps we could see more of trust/truth and the like? Or maybe we could discuss it more. Definitely a +1 for this work.

Hey Gabriellemarice99,

First of all, great poem. I love the imagery in it! The rhyming you used was almost perfect, and it was great overall. Okay, now suprisingly, I wasn't confused by any of this, when I'd usually be like, AHHH!!! So, basically that means you did a good job making it understandable. There's a lot of truth in this poem. I think that is what makes it so enjoyable. If anything I would say it is a little long. Sometimes, when poems are shorter, it has a much bigger impact. Now, I'm not really one to say that because I write page long poems. But, I think the length you wrote this was perfect. I'm not going to get really detailed and be all negative, so great job. I loved it! Keep writing!

-FCS

Beautiful imagery, and amazing symbolism. This was the first poem I read on this sight, and probably the reason I joined!! Though it took me a couple times to catch all the metaphors, and to get the full meaning of this poem. A little editing will go a long way to making this poem better! Great Job, keep writing!!

So while I think the idea behind creating an embodiment of these ideas is a something solid, as it has been done throughout writing in history, I think there are some things you can do to improve the clarity of this poem. First, and most importantly, capitalize their names vs the ideas. Truth should be truthful with Trust and Truth should be trying to understand Trying. The only way this sentence is clear, is because of the capitalization. It's an old trick that poets have used for a very long time to differentiate between the word, and the symbol.

As for an overall opinion on the poem, I think the poem has some potential, but the idea of truth is a little off. The truth about weeds is that weeds are only weeds by perspective. For example, dandelions are actually very useful plants that are edible and put in salads in some countries. In the United States, they are considered weeds. The examples go on and on. In this manner, Truth has no true identity. It might be true for some that Trust is a weed, but not true for others, so there is no one truth. It makes this type of poem much harder to write unfortunately.

Wow, I love the way your poem has trust as a physical being. Its really nice that it has a little bit of a rhyme to it and it kinda slips off your tong if you read it aloud. It is a little hard to read but otherwise its great. I think my favorite thing about it is the emotion and the way you associate a thing as physically snapping.

Love the imagery as well as the analogy of the power! I agree with LoLaBlack. Some parts could be expanded, further deepening the analogy! For example;

"Soon the flower weed will see,

Truth, a hurricane, is soon to be.

Gentle breezes grow stronger,

Plucking trust's petals, there no longer."

The emotion is beautiful! But there are some moments of confusion - trust is a flower or a weed? What is wrong with a weed that flowers? Truth is the hurricane? What is the difference between truth and trust? Maybe using more imagery in terms of where the lies came from ... like the flower grow in the soils of deception and rooted in the rock fear and insecurity? Just some food for thought! Many writers can't do what you do! Keep writing it is beautiful!

i really love this poem, the imagery is beautiful. I think you should expand a little, some parts are a little difficult to understand at first read. I also think that expanding will really add an even greater depth to your piece. But i really love your work

I tried to separate it every four lines into stanzas but it wouldn't let me so sorry for that